“Rabbits and hamsters. Ecologically unstabilizing and round and blue as moonbeams. August.”
It almost certainly wasn’t a real person. The computer systems on Eros could generate any number of perfectly convincing dialects and voices. Men’s, women’s, children’s. And how many millions of hours of data could there be on the computers and storage dumps all through the station?
Another electronic flutter, like finches looped back against themselves. A new voice—feminine and soft this time—with a throbbing pulse behind it.
“Patient complains of rapid heartbeat and night sweats. Symptom onset reported as three months previous, but with a history…”
The voice faded, and the throbbing rose. Like an old man with Swiss cheese holes in his brain, the complex system that had been Eros was dying, changing, losing its mind. And because Protogen had wired it all for sound, Miller could listen to the station fail.
“I didn’t tell him, I didn’t tell him, I didn’t tell him. The sunrise. I’ve never seen the sunrise.”
Miller closed his eyes and slid down toward sleep, serenaded by Eros. As consciousness faded, he imagined a body in the bed beside him, warm and alive and breathing slowly in time with the rise and fall of the static.
The manager was a thin man, weedy, with hair combed high above his brow like a wave that never crashed. The office hunched close around them, humming at odd moments when the infrastructure—water, air, energy—of Tycho impinged on it. A business built between ducts, improvisational and cheap. The lowest of the low.
“I’m sorry,” the manager said. Miller felt his gut tighten and sink. Of all the humiliations the universe had in store for him, this one he hadn’t foreseen. It made him angry.
“You think I can’t handle it?” he asked, keeping his voice soft.
“It’s not that,” the weedy man said. “It’s… Look, between us, we’re looking for a thumb, you know? Someone’s idiot kid brother could guard this warehouse. You’ve got all this experience. What do we need with riot control protocols? Or investigative procedure? I mean, come on. This gig doesn’t even come with a gun.”
“I don’t care,” Miller said. “I need something.”
The weedy man sighed and gave the exaggerated shrug of a Belter.
“You need something else,” he said.
Miller tried not to laugh, afraid it would sound like despair. He stared at the cheap plastic wall behind the manager until the guy started to get uncomfortable. It was a trap. He was too experienced to start over. He knew too much, so there was no going back and doing fresh beginnings.
“All right,” he said at last, and the manager across the desk from him let out a breath, then had the good grace to look embarrassed.
“Can I just ask,” the weedy man said. “Why did you leave your old job?”
“Ceres changed hands,” Miller said, putting on his hat. “I wasn’t on the new team. That was all.”
“Ceres?”
The manager looked confused, which in turn confused Miller. He glanced down at his own hand terminal. There was his work history, just the way he’d presented it. The manager couldn’t have missed it.
“That’s where I was,” Miller said.
“For the police thing. But I meant the last job. I mean, I’ve been around, I understand not putting OPA work on your resume, but you have to figure we all know that you were part of the thing… you know, with the station. And all.”
“You think I was working for the OPA,” Miller said.
The weedy man blinked.
“You were,” he said.
Which, after all, was true.
Nothing had changed in Fred Johnson’s office, and everything had. The furnishings, the smell of the air, the sense of its existing somewhere between a boardroom and a command and control center. The generation ship outside the window might have been half a percent closer to completion, but that wasn’t it. The stakes of the game had shifted, and what had been a war was something else now. Something bigger. It shone in Fred’s eyes and tightened his shoulders.
“We could use a man with your skills,” Fred agreed. “It’s always the small-scale things that trip you up. How to frisk someone. That kind of thing. Tycho security can handle themselves, but once we’re off our station and shooting our way into someone else’s, not as much.”
“Is that something you’re looking to do more of?” Miller said, trying to make it a casual joke. Fred didn’t answer. For a moment, Julie stood at the general’s side. Miller saw the pair of them reflected in the screens, the man pensive, the ghost amused. Maybe Miller had gotten it wrong from the start, and the divide between the Belt and the inner planets was something besides politics and resource management. He knew as well as anyone that the Belt offered a harder, more dangerous life than Mars or Earth provided. And yet it called these people—the best people—out of humanity’s gravity wells to cast themselves into the darkness.
The impulse to explore, to stretch, to leave home. To go as far as possible out into the universe. And now that Protogen and Eros offered the chance to become gods, to re-create humanity into beings that could go beyond merely human hopes and dreams, it occurred to Miller how hard it would be for men like Fred to turn that temptation away.
“You killed Dresden,” Fred said. “That’s a problem.”
“It needed to happen.”
“I’m not sure it did,” Fred replied, but his voice was careful. Testing. Miller smiled, a little sadly.
“That’s why it needed to happen,” he said.
The small, coughing laugh told Miller that Fred understood him. When the general turned back to consider him again, his gaze was steady.
“When it comes to the negotiating table, someone’s going to have to answer for it. You killed a defenseless man.”
“I did,” Miller said.
“When the time comes, I will hand-feed you to the wolves as the first chip I offer. I won’t protect you.”
“Wouldn’t ask you to protect me,” Miller said.
“Even if it meant being a Belter ex-cop in an Earth-side prison?”
It was a euphemism, and they both knew it. You belong with me, Julie said. And so what did it matter, really, how he got there?
“I’ve got no regrets,” he said, and half a breath later was shocked to discover it was almost true. “If there’s a judge out there who wants to ask me about something, I’ll answer. I’m looking for a job here, not protection.”
Fred sat in his chair, eyes narrow and thoughtful. Miller leaned forward in his seat.
“You’ve got me in a hard position,” Fred said. “You’re saying all the right things. But I have a hard time trusting that you’d follow through. Keeping you on the books would be risky. It could undermine my position in the peace negotiations.”
“It’s a risk,” Miller said. “But I’ve been on Eros and Thoth Station. I flew on the Rocinante with Holden and his crew. When it comes to analysis of the protomolecule and how we got into this mess, there isn’t anyone in a better position to give you information. You can argue I knew too much. That I was too valuable to let go.”
“Or too dangerous.”
“Sure. Or that.”
They were silent for a moment. On the Nauvoo, a bank of lights glittered in a gold-and-green test pattern and then went dark.
“Security consultant,” Fred said. “Independent. I won’t give you a rank.”
I’m too dirty for the OPA, Miller thought with a glow of amusement.
“If it comes with my own bunk, I’ll take it,” he said. It was only until the war was over. After that, he was meat for the machine. That was fine. Fred leaned back. His chair hissed softly into its new configuration.