The guys have Ocean’s Eleven pulled up and ask us if it’s okay. Nicole blurts out, “Have you seen the cast? Yeah, we’re good.” She winks at me and I smile at her. One, because she’s right, and two, because I know what she’s doing. She’s effectively getting under their skin. It’s a macho thing.
“Come here, you,” Brighton says, pulling Nicole onto his lap. I smile at his playfulness with her.
I take my seat on the couch and pull the blanket from the back. I watch in fascination as Maxton helps me cover my feet, tucking it around me. “Better?” he asks quietly, only for me.
I can’t seem to find my voice, so I just nod. That earns me a smile. I can only assume it’s because of the way he found me in the kitchen. He doesn’t know how to deal with me. I push all thoughts out of my mind and settle in for the movie.
I PUSH PLAY on the remote and try to keep my focus aimed at the television. I’m kicked back and leaning on my elbow in the center of the couch. The position has me closer to her. I don’t know why, but that’s where I want to be. Something is different; today changed things. I can’t define what it is. I want her; but that’s nothing new that’s how this whole thing started. This crazy fucking spark that I feel around her. She turned me down and that fueled my pursuit. I refuse to tear it apart afraid of what I might find. I need to remember to look out for number one. That’s the only way.
We are about twenty minutes into the movie and my hand is going numb. I shift positions, but instead of moving closer to my side of the couch, I’m in the middle of the two cushions. Kensington hasn’t moved in a while and her breathing is deep and even. I have avoided looking at her, not wanting to give Bright any more ammunition than he already has. Of course, I doubt he’s even paying attention to me right now with his girl curled up in his lap. I wouldn’t be if I were him.
Shifting positions gives me the perfect reason to turn my head and glance at her. What I see takes my breath away. She’s sleeping. Her head is leaned against the couch, the cover up to her neck. She’s so fucking beautiful it almost hurts to look at her. Almost. I would regret if I let this moment pass me by, a chance to study her when she’s peaceful, and the chance to look at her without the insecurity in her eyes. It’s like she’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can see there is something there and I can admit that I want to know what it is. But it’s an admission that I’m not ready to voice outside of my head.
A tendril of hair has fallen across her eyes and she bats at it with her hand. I reach over and gently tuck it behind her ear. I softy run my thumb across the dark circles under her eyes. How did I miss that?
“She doesn’t sleep well sometimes.” Nicole’s whispered voice has me dropping my hand and turning to face her. “It’s her story to tell; hell, I don’t even know all of it. She hides it well, but it’s there.” She points to Kensington. “She doesn’t have her guard up when she’s sleeping.”
I can see that. I turn back to Kensington, watching her sleep.
“I’m not sure what brought you here today,” Nicole starts, but I don’t turn back to face her, “but I know she can’t take any more heartbreak. Please don’t play games with her.” Her voice is pleading.
“He doesn’t play games, babe. Just because he doesn’t do commitment doesn’t mean he’s out to hurt her,” Brighton defends me.
Hearing her plea, asking me to never hurt Kensington, sparks something in me. Never. I would never do anything to hurt her. Turning to face them, I admit, “I won’t hurt her. I could never.” I shake my head. I don’t know what this is, this feeling, but I want to protect her. The thought that someone has hurt her, or would hurt her, does not sit well with me. I turn back to Kensington, taking in her sleeping form and something inside my chest swells. I whisper the words, “She’s different.” They fall out of my mouth and I realize it’s true.
“I can see that. Tread lightly, man,” Brighton warns me. I know he’s all in with Nicole and he doesn’t want his girl upset. I get that, I do. However, it was me and him first; he knows me better than that.
I focus my gaze back on the movie. I’m not paying attention, but pretend to be. The conversation needed to end. I’m done talking about it, about her, about my feelings. She’s different. I said the words and meant them, but fuck me if I know what it means.
When the credits roll, I’m ready to head home. There are so many things jumbled around in my head; I just need to clear my mind. Nicole yawns and Bright takes that as the cue that we need to head out. I look over at Kensington and her neck is bent at an awkward angle. She can’t sleep like that all night.
Without another thought, I climb to my feet, lean down, and scoop her up in my arms. Her head rests against my shoulder and she burrows her face into my neck. “What the hell are you doing?” Nicole asks. Her voice is alarmed.
Brighton answers for me. He’s knows me all too well. “Babe, she can’t sleep like that all night. She looked uncomfortable as hell. Instead of waking her, he’s taking her to her bed. You said yourself she doesn’t sleep well.”
She turns to look at me, Kensington in my arms. “It’s the—” I turn toward the hall.
“I know,” I whisper the words, not wanting to wake her up. I walk slowly down the hall to her room. Pushing the door open with my foot, I stalk to her bed and lay her down gently. She rolls to her side, facing me, and curls up into a ball. I, again, tuck her wayward curls behind her ear, pulling the cover up over her. Even though I know I shouldn’t, I can’t resist kissing her on the forehead. When I pull back, her eyes flutter open.
“Max,” she whispers groggily. She never calls me Max. Always Maxton.
“Shh, go back to sleep. I just didn’t want you to get a kink in your neck from the couch.” I keep my voice soft and low.
“You scare me.” Her voice is soft. I can tell she’s still half asleep.
At her words, I drop to my knees beside the bed. I run my fingers over her hair. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, you scare me,” she says again. Her eyes open and capture mine. They are full of sadness and I want to know why. I want to know what caused her pain.
I continue to run my fingers over her silky locks. “Why do I scare you, baby?” Her eyes are closed again. I watch her chest rise and fall. When it appears like she’s really asleep this time, I lean in to kiss her forehead one last time.
As I go to stand, she mumbles, “I don’t want to feel. You make me feel.”
Her words stop me. I stop and stare at her. This beautiful girl is broken, and in this moment, I want nothing more than to make her whole again. I don’t know why or what it means. I drop back to my knees and tuck that damn curl back behind her ear. I smile. I wanted her, want her, but now… I want her to feel whole again. Somehow she’s weaseled her way past my cocky exterior that I use to guard my heart. She’s worked her way past the barrier, and now all I want to do is help her propel over her own.
I hear a light tap on the door. I sigh and climb to my feet. Both Nicole and Brighton are standing there, watching me. “She’s all tucked in.” I try to keep my voice neutral. I don’t want them to see how she is slowly crumbling the walls I erected long ago. I don’t know what it means or how I even feel about it, and I sure as fuck don’t want to go all Dr. Phil and talk about this shit. Not right now. Not sure that I ever will.