Needing a distraction, I tickle her ribs. She squeals with laughter and all is right in the world. She wiggles around and ends up straddling my hips. Her hands are clasped behind my neck and my arms are around her waist, holding her against me. “You want to go take a nap?” I ask, low enough for her only to hear. She rests her forehead against mine.
“Yes.”
I stand with her still in my lap. She immediately wraps her legs around my waist. Her hands cup my cheeks and she presses her lips to mine. Never breaking the kiss, I carry her to my room. Luckily, neither one of us are injured in the process.
Being in a serious relationship is the shit. So is birth control. I slowly undress her and make sweet love to my girl. Bare, nothing between us. Making love is something that we both enjoy, that’s obvious. Loving her, being in love with her that’s all me. I have to tell her soon. If I don’t, I’m going to end up blurting it out. I drift off to sleep thinking about how Dad was right. I wish he were here to meet her.
“MAX, GO. IT’S fine. Nicole’s class lets out at one and we’re leaving right after.” I’ve told him this at least ten times since last night.
“Okay. Promise you will text me as soon as you leave. I can’t shake this feeling, Kens,” he tells me.
I take his face into the palms of my hands. “Maxton Cooper, I’m fine; look at me. I’m okay. Nicole is fine. If something does happen, you can be back in two hours tops. Go, catch up with your friends and we will see you this afternoon,” I try to reassure him.
He pulls me into his chest and holds me. “I hate this feeling. I can’t explain it; all I know is that nothing can happen to you. I need you in my life, Kens,” he says. His voice is sincere and I can tell how serious he is.
“Hey, it’s me and you, right? I agreed to be yours a long time ago, Maxton.”
“It’s not that; I know we’re solid. I just can’t shake this feeling that I need to stay with you. Please be alert and lock your doors, fill up the tank before you leave, and make sure you take your car charger for your cell. You are taking your car, right? I looked it over, changed the oil, and checked the tires earlier this week,” he says.
I smile at his worry over me. “Yes, we are taking my car. I already have my bags packed. I cleaned out the fridge at the apartment and I’m going to do that here at your place once you leave to drop Nic off at school. Then I’m going to pick her up and drive straight to you.”
“Maxton!” Nicole yells down the hall. “This train’s leaving. My class starts in a half hour. Let’s roll.” I hear Bright laughing at her.
“I miss you already,” he tells me.
“I’ll see you by five o’clock. I have the directions you saved into the GPS in my phone. The charger is there. My bags are packed, so are Nic’s. Go, be safe, have fun. I l… I’ll see you soon.”
Shit! I just about told him I loved him. He studies me then leans in and kisses me slow and sweet. All the while, Bright and Nic are yelling that they will meet him in the car. “I’ll see you soon, beautiful.” He kisses my forehead, letting his lips linger. “Be safe, Kensi.” One more chaste kiss on the lips and he turns and walks away.
I take my time cleaning out the fridge. We’re only going to be gone two days, but coming back to spoiled milk is not something I enjoy. I spend just as much time here, more actually, than I do my apartment. I throw in a load of Max’s laundry and run the sweeper. By the time it’s done, folded, and put away, it’s time to pick up Nicole.
I turn off all the lights and lock the door. As soon as I get in the car, my phone chimes.
Maxton: Babe, be safe. I’ll see you soon.
Me: Always. I miss you, Max.
Maxton: You have no idea. I can’t wait to show you how much.
Me: Promise
Maxton: With everything that I am
Me: <3 See you soon
I wait to see if he’s going to reply before placing my phone in the cup holder and starting out on my journey.
Nicole is in the parking lot talking to a group of people. I recognize a few of them. She spots me, waves to the group, and heads my way. “Hey! Are we ready for a weekend of fun?” she asks.
I laugh at her. “Yes, and, hopefully, when we get there, Max will chill. He’s been telling me all week that he has this feeling that he needs to stay with me today. I had to keep reassuring him that I’m fine,” I tell her.
“Bright mentioned something about that. He thought maybe Max was just being over protective. He wanted to make sure I knew that he didn’t love me any less than Maxton does you because he wasn’t making a big deal about it.” She shrugs. “He said we are grown women and driving two hours in broad daylight. He didn’t think we weren’t safe,” she rambles on.
There was so much information in that rambled cluster that I don’t know where to start. I decide I would start with what stands out first. “What makes him think Max loves me? And since when are the two of you telling each other ‘I love you’.” I end up rambling just like she did.
“Well, for your information, he told me on Thanksgiving. I haven’t really seen you much this week. Max has kept you occupied. As for Max being in love with you, anyone can see it. Anyone who sees how he looks at you, or watches how he touches you, just how he acts around you in general. You love him too, have you not told him?”
“I… no, I haven’t told him. We haven’t said anything like that. He tells me how important I am and how much he needs me in his life, but love… not yet.”
“Why not? I know you love him. What are you afraid of?”
I let her words sink in and think about that question. What are you afraid of? “Honestly, in the beginning, I was afraid to trust him. To trust that he wasn’t out to ultimately hurt me.”
“Kens, I know as well as anyone that you have trust issues. I don’t know the details, but as your best friend, I have lived your pain with you. You can tell me, you know?” she says.
She’s right. I can tell her and I need to. “Soon. I promise. Let’s get through this weekend. I don’t want to spoil the fun. I don’t want to think about it,” I tell her.
“It’s coming up,” she says, her voice low.
Yes, it is. The anniversary of my mother’s death is fast approaching. One week from today to be exact. Two weeks before Christmas. “Yeah. I want to tell you. It’s not that I don’t trust you, Nic. I do. It’s just hard to talk about it, to think about it. It’s easier to bury it and lock it away.”
“I understand that, but at the same time, me knowing and Max knowing, we can help shoulder that pain, Kens. We love you and we want to help you. It would be easier for us if we knew the details. Does Max even know that next week…” Her voice trails off. She knows it’s the anniversary of my mother’s death but not my involvement.
“When we get back, I promise you and I are having a girls’ night with lots of alcohol and I will tell you the entire story. Bring tissues,” I say as a side note.
Nicole reaches over and places her hand over mine. “You got this, Kens. The four of us are our own little family. We will always be there for you,” she tells me.
I don’t know why, but I start talking. “My high school boyfriend, Justin,” I swallow hard, “it was his brother. His brother killed my mother. He was coming for me. He was a gang member. Justin was, apparently, trying to join as well. The letter he wrote me said he always looked up to his older brother and wanted to be just like him. Anyway, Justin wanted to be a part of the gang. His initiation was to seduce a girl who was chosen for him. He was supposed to…” I swallow again, fighting back the emotion. “He was supposed to rape me and film it. He had to provide proof that he did it. They gave him six months to finish the job. Our six-month anniversary, he was supposed to pick me up from work. I worked at a local pizza joint. He called right before my shift ended to tell me something came up and he wouldn’t be there. He sounded nervous. I asked if he was okay, and he said he just wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to risk me getting sick. I didn’t think too much of it, told him I hoped he felt better and ended the call. A co-worker drove me home. The house was dark when I got home. Dad was working late again, and Mom I assumed was at the grocery store. She said Friday nights were never busy and the best time to go.”