He takes a deep breath. I’m barely holding onto my anger, but Kensi wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head against my chest. She’s calm, which keeps me in check. “Joe, he was… intense, always was. He knew I was falling for you. I talked about you all the time and spent all the time I had to spare with you. It pissed him off. Then he changed the rules. He said he knew I wouldn’t let you go, so the plans changed. I was to videotape the two of us together, having sex. I admitted to him that we hadn’t gotten that far yet.” I growl at the thought.
JT takes a few steps back. Smart man. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hurt you like that. I told him so. I told him that I…” He pauses to look at me. Turning away, he focuses his attention on Kensi. “I told him that I loved you and refused. I told him he could take his club and shove it up his ass. The next night after school, he and his buddies jumped me. They were pissed I was backing out. They kicked the shit out of me. That’s why I cancelled that night. I didn’t want you to see me and ask what happened. I didn’t want to lie to you, and I wasn’t ready to tell you the truth. If I would have thought for a minute that he would come after you…” He swallows hard and I can see this is difficult for him.
I look down at my girl and her eyes are glassy but she’s composed and calm. I hold her a little tighter, rubbing her belly. JT’s eyes follow my hand and I can see from the look in his eyes that he is just now realizing we’re pregnant. “I didn’t know how far gone he was. He was heavy into drugs. I knew he had tried them, but I had no idea it ran as deep as it did. He hid it well from all of us. I swear to you, I didn’t know he was coming after you. He beat the shit out of me and I took it. I thought he would leave you alone. I didn’t even fight back. I thought he was pissed that I changed my mind.” He rubs his hands over his face before he returns his gaze to my wife. “Kensington, I would never let him hurt you, if I knew. When I heard what he had done…” He swallows hard. “When I heard about your mom, I closed up. I wouldn’t talk to anyone. I ignored my friends. Max, man, I did it to you,” he says. “I wrote you that note, and I know you got it, your dad confirmed as much to Joe’s attorney. I just wanted to tell you in person how sorry I am. I know it doesn’t make it any better and it will never take away the pain or bring her back, but I am so fucking sorry,” he says.
“Why?” she asks. Her voice is soft and calm. “After all these years, why now?” she asks.
“It’s always been in the back of my mind. I told myself I needed to leave you alone and let you try and move past it. That you didn’t need me tracking you down and bringing the pain to the surface. Then I saw you that day at the farm, and well, I just… I didn’t know I would find you here today, that I would have the chance to tell you. I was going to explain it all to Max and tell him I was sorry. I didn’t know about the wedding,” he glances at our son, “or the baby. I hope you two have a long, happy life and I’m truly sorry for the pain my family has caused both of you.” He drops his hands to his sides and walks toward the door.
I don’t know what I expected to happen, but I never would have dreamed I would hear the words, “Justin, are you hungry? I bought a ton of Chinese. You’re welcome to stay and eat,” come out of her mouth.
“Kensi?” I question her.
Looking up at me, she says, “I’m good, Maxton. He didn’t make him do it. He did the right thing and he’s your friend. I don’t think I’ll be naming him godfather of this little guy anytime soon, but we can share a meal with an old friend. Besides, you’re here, so I know I’m good. He can’t break me; you won’t let him.”
Trust.
Words escape me at her strength, at the kind of person that she is. She’s going to be an amazing mother. “I love you hard, Kensington Cooper.”
She giggles. “Right back at ya, Maxton Cooper.”
I DECIDED AGAINST walking for graduation. My feet are swollen and, honestly, I just want that piece of paper. Maxton and I talked and I’m not going to work right away. He makes more than enough to support us, and I’m grateful we’re able to be provided for so I can stay home with our little man for a while. A professor at the college is looking for a teaching assistant, but the job doesn’t start until September when classes start up. She offered me the position and I immediately accepted. It’s close to home and decent hours. Max and I will be able to work our schedules with him owning the bar so we will be able to watch the baby with no need for childcare.
Flipping through the mail, I see a package from the college. Ripping it open, I find it’s my degree. The piece of paper that says I made it through four years of higher education. Smiling, I set it to the side, making a mental note to pick up a frame. A letter from our attorney catches my eye. After Justin showed up at the bar, I contacted him to let him know I had no desire to speak to Joe. I don’t care what he has to say; I will never forgive him regardless of the drugs he was taking. He made the choice to take drugs. There is no forgiveness in me for him. Justin did stay and eat lunch with us; it was awkward, but didn’t feel wrong like I originally thought. He did the right thing; he didn’t make his brother do what he did. It took me a while to realize that. Do I think he and Max are going to have the same friendship as before? No, I don’t. I feel bad about it, but Max assures me that what we have is worth it.
“Hey there, sexy mama”, Maxton says as he comes into the kitchen. He steps beside me and kisses my temple. His hands land on my belly as always. “How’s my two favorite people?” he asks.
“Good, my back’s hurting a little, but I think it’s from washing and folding all of those clothes.” Nicole threw me a shower last weekend and I spent all day yesterday washing them and organizing the nursery. We are all ready for our little man to arrive.
“Kens, you need to stay off your feet. Come on.” He takes my hand and leads me to the living room. He helps me down on the couch and places a pillow behind my back. He places another on the table and props my feet up on it. “You need to relax and stay off your feet,” he scolds me.
“She’s nesting,” Nicole says from behind us. Bright follows behind her. “We brought dinner,” she says, pointing to Bright who is holding up two pizza boxes.
“How you feeling, mama?” Nicole asks, leaning over the back of the couch to rub my belly.
“Like I’m as big as this damn couch,” I groan.
“You, my darling wife, are beautiful. That’s my son that’s cooking in there, so watch what you say. You might hurt his feelings,” he says, winking at me.
I laugh at his antics. I read somewhere that the baby will recognize our voices when he’s born and made the mistake of telling Maxton. He now talks to my belly more than he does me. It’s sweet and makes me fall even more in love with him every day.
“So does my nephew have a name yet?” Bright asks. He sets the pizza boxes on the table. Nicole places a bag with paper plates and napkins beside it.
“I’ll go grab some drinks. Don’t spill the deets without me.” She skips off to the kitchen.
“I think so,” I tell Bright, “but we’re waiting until he’s born. Maxton seems to think we need to see him, hold him, before we make our final decision.” I roll my eyes playfully. I happen to think it’s adorable how involved he’s been and how serious he’s taking this issue. I can still hear his words the first night we talked about names.
“Babe, this is serious stuff. Our kid is going to be called this the rest of his life; it’s got to be good. We don’t want him to be made fun of.” The look on his face when he said it was priceless!