‘There is more to it than mimicry… ’ Schmidt began, but there was uncertainty in his voice. ‘There are things I know that you don’t-’
Lex pounced on the uncertainty instantly. ‘I’ll improvise, ’ he said, smiling only with his mouth. ‘I’ll invent a medical condition if I have to, Mr Schmidt. After all, you’re getting on a bit now, aren’t you? Who do you think they’re going to believe? I mean, who do you really think they’ll choose to trust? What about your old pal Mr Lucas? He’ll be hating me by now, I’m sure. Lots of people will. All those angry victims of all my heinous crimes. We can go back to the Wither City right now if you like but it will only be a temporary detour for me — to put you behind bars. It would be satisfying, I’ll admit, but something of a tedious waste of my time. For I will lie, Mr Schmidt. And I will lie convincingly. I have never been blessed with modesty, so believe me when I say that there is no one who can beat me when it comes to lying, thieving, conniving and cheating, Mr Schmidt.’ He leant back in his chair with a slight smile. ‘I’ve had a lot of practice. As an honest man, I would advise you not to attempt to beat me in this particular game. You’ll never win it, sir.’
Lex would worry about this situation later but, for now, he was unashamedly and immensely enjoying himself.
‘You say this is not your own doing,’ the lawyer said quietly after a few moments. ‘You do want your own body back, I presume?’
‘You would presume correctly, Monty. I am certainly not so fond of yours that I would wish to-’
‘Yes, yes, all right,’ Schmidt snapped. ‘Could you stop trying to be clever for just two minutes? Do you know how to get the bracelets off?’
‘No.’
‘Do you know anyone who might be able to help us?’
‘No.’
‘Do you know anything at all?’
‘No, not really. Except that the bracelets were made in Khestrii, the gypsy woman said. The Khestrians might know something.’
Mr Schmidt gazed at him coldly. ‘I am not travelling with you all the way to Khestrii. I am not that eager for your company.’
‘Nor I yours,’ Lex replied smoothly. ‘But I don’t need to tell you that it’s not a good idea to show the bracelets to anyone around here. We were lucky with the gypsies because of their isolationist ways. But if anyone else discovers this little… problem we have-’
‘Yes, all right; discretion is obviously paramount,’ Schmidt agreed irritably.
‘Look, neither of us wants to stay this way,’ Lex said reasonably. ‘I’ve got years of life left in that body, but who knows how much time you’ve got left before you cop it?’
To his surprise, Schmidt did not go instantly red with anger this time but leant back in his seat with a smile. ‘I daresay I would become accustomed to the lice, given time,’ the lawyer drawled. Lex’s voice was well suited to drawling. ‘But even so, it will be really quite blissful to return to my own hygienic self after this-’
‘I have no lice!’ Lex snapped and then scowled, annoyed with himself for the slight lapse of control.
‘Oh dear, have I touched a nerve, my boy?’ the lawyer sneered.
Lex cursed inwardly. Hygiene was a thing with Lex. He hated… he loathed and detested being unclean, but sometimes it was necessary for the role and sailor boys were not known for their cleanliness.
‘Khestrii is the province of the enchanters,’ Lex said brusquely. ‘And any Khestrian will be able to translate the runes for us. The bracelets came from there, we may be able to find someone who can get them off. The mantha beast you purchased is tethered outside. If we can buy a wagon from someone we can travel to the harbour in Gandylow and buy passage aboard one of the enchanters’ magical boats. Well? What do you think?’
‘I think you’re crazy if you think you’re going to find an enchanter willing to allow non-magical people on his boat,’ Schmidt retorted.
‘Well, we can sort the details out later. Don’t worry, I’ll get us there.’
They stopped talking as Jani arrived with their food. Lex stirred the soup with his spoon, enjoying the smell and watching in immense satisfaction as Schmidt picked angrily at the dry crust of bread he had been given. One spoonful told him that it tasted just as delicious as it smelt and he had been about to make a smug remark to Schmidt when the lawyer put a piece of stale bread in his mouth, there was a shing and suddenly it was Lex who was chewing on the dry piece of bread.
It was only then that Lex realised how stupid he’d been to only order a crust of bread for Schmidt, for now that he had his own body back he had nothing to eat. The thick, delicious, nourishing soup was on the table before Montgomery Schmidt and, by the attitude Lex had assumed as the lawyer, he would not now be able to order soup for himself without drawing attention. Very much aware of the suddenly smug expression on his employer’s face, Lex tore the bread in half and ate it, trying his best to look like he was enjoying it.
Half an hour later, Lex locked himself in the little shower room where Jani had agreed to let him have a wash.
‘Are you there?’ he said softly.
‘Yes, darling, indeed I am,’ the Goddess of Luck said, appearing in the little room beside him.
Lex scowled at her. ‘Well you’ve made a right cock up of this, haven’t you?’ he snapped. ‘I thought you were going to help me get out of the city. Why didn’t you stop that crone from dragging me into that tent?’
‘She hardly dragged you, dear. You went in willingly. Anyway, I was the one who sent her to you in the first place.’
‘You what? Why? Look where it’s got me!’
He held up his wrist where the black obelisk bracelet gleamed in the light from the small window.
‘It’s exciting, isn’t it? The Game has begun!’
‘G-Game?’ Lex repeated, his mouth dropping open as he gaped at her in delight. ‘You don’t mean…?’
‘Yes, Lex. One of the Games.’
Lex was so thrilled — so beside himself with excitement — that he actually hugged the Goddess. He just couldn’t help himself. A Game! A Game at last! He had made a lot of money on them in the past but betting on them was hardly the same thing as actually playing in one! And he had longed to take part for such a long time.
‘I can’t believe it!’ he beamed. ‘When does it start, my Lady? When can we begin?’
The Goddess smiled. ‘Well, I can see that I’m not going to have to threaten to turn you into a chessman.’
Playing in the Games held by the Gods brought fortune, fame and glory — if you were the winner. But it could also bring… well.. danger, death and loss of limb. It could bring suffering, misery, discomfort and hardship. In short, if you were not a natural winner then the Games could be very unpleasant indeed. Many players were motivated by vanity and greed but others didn’t think the chance of glory was worth the risk of painful death. More and more people had started refusing to play, which hadn’t been much fun for the Gods at all. They couldn’t force them because all players had to be willing. So they came up with the idea that potential players would have a choice — either they could agree to play the Game or they could choose instead to be turned into life-sized chessmen, which the Gods would then put on display in their own churches. No one could quite tell whether these chessmen had any degree of sentient awareness but the general consensus seemed to be that it was better to take your chances with the Game than to resign yourself to being turned into an inanimate lump of wood. So not many people got turned into chessmen nowadays, but most Gods had one or two pieces in their churches from the olden days when people had half thought the whole thing was a bluff. One thing it’s always worth bearing in mind is that Gods very rarely bluff.
‘How do the Swanns come into this?’ Lex asked.
‘What Swanns?’
‘The Wishing Swanns of Desareth,’ Lex replied, pulling the velvet pouch from his pocket. ‘The enchanter gave them to me with the bracelet.’