“Why don’t you like him?” Travis asked as we pulled up at my house.
“Who are you talking about?”
“My uncle.”
“Your uncle appears to be a charming man. I have no reason to dislike him.”
There was a stubborn set to his jaw, but he didn’t argue.
Rachel pulled up as we were getting out of the van. She carried two big envelopes.
“Ah, just one big happy family,” she said as she reached us. I’ve never doubted her powers of observation.
“Anything interesting in the files?” I asked.
“Oh, yes,” she said. “I’ve read through them once, but they deserve some real study.”
She quickly coaxed Travis into telling her about our adventures in the trailer park, and his mood lightened. He was a storyteller, and he told this one well.
As he went on and on about his uncle, I realized that for him, this was a vital connection-that Gerald Spanning was someone who could tell him about a group of people his father had been too young to know- grandparents and other relations. He now had a family to identify himself with, a family denied to a bastard child.
I felt the paper folded in my back pocket and found myself wishing I hadn’t seen it, wanting to be rid of it, hoping it wasn’t important.
In the end, literally, the dogs betrayed me.
23
I walked into the house first, listening to Travis say to Rachel-for perhaps the third time-“You’d really like him.” Deke and Dunk came forward to greet us but never moved on to Travis and Rachel, becoming quite fascinated with my rear pocket.
Their intense sniffing of one of my ass cheeks, even as I turned from them and tried to shoo them off, did not go unnoticed by my companions.
“They want whatever that is in your back pocket,” Travis said, laughing. “What is it?”
Since Deke showed every sign of being willing to pull the bulletin out of my pocket if I didn’t, I reached back and removed it, holding it high and snapping an irritable command at them to get down as I kept moving toward the kitchen.
They obeyed, skulking off with tails down, but casting reproachful looks back at me-making me believe the guilt trip was not, after all, a human invention.
There was a noticeable silence in their wake. Both Travis and Rachel were staring at me. I made myself unfold the coffee-stained paper enough to see that the date on it was the same as the one on the bulletin I had found among Briana’s possessions. I suddenly felt tired.
Rachel said, “Che cosa e?,” but Travis was closer and he took it from my hand.
“A church bulletin from St. Anthony’s?” he said, and I heard Rachel’s quick intake of breath.
“Where did you find it?” she asked.
“In the trash can under the Spannings’ sink.”
“What were you doing looking through their trash?” he asked sharply.
I didn’t answer. I went into the living room and tried to make peace with the dogs.
“Travis,” Rachel said, “open it up. Read through the announcements.”
He stared at her for a moment, then slowly obeyed. All the color left his face. She put an arm around his shoulders, took the bulletin from him, and led him to where I was sitting, putting him between us on the couch. He was looking at me in confusion.
“It announced my father’s funeral Mass,” he said.
“Yes. Your uncle already knew your father was dead.”
“But that means-oh, God!” he said miserably. “It means he was just putting on an act! That goddamned-” But as he said it he looked at me, and I was much handier than Gerald. “You knew!” he said angrily. “You knew that he was faking grief for my father, and you didn’t say anything to me! I asked why you didn’t like him and you said, ”Your uncle appears to be a charming man. I have no reason to dislike him!“”
This last was repeated in a mincing la-de-da tone that I have never used in my life. I ignored that, and the anger. “I saw the bulletin in their trash when I was getting rid of the beer cans. It looked like the one I found when I was going through your mom’s papers, but Gerald and Deeny came back out into the living room before I could do more than stuff it in my back pocket. I didn’t have time to check the date on it. Until just now, for all I knew, that bulletin could have been from a year ago.”
“But in the car…” He looked away from me. “Never mind, I understand.”
“I’m sorry, Travis,” I said.
“For what? Sorry that the Spannings are a pack of liars? Christ, there must be something in the DNA. A beguiler’s gene.”
Rachel laughed, surprising him into smiling back at her. “I do a good job of feeling sorry for myself, don’t I?” he said.
“Not especially,” she replied easily. “Most people I know, if they had the kind of weekend you’re having, they’d be throwing tantrums or getting drunk or locking themselves up in dark rooms for a good long cry.”
“All of those ideas sound great to me right now.”
“Nobody would blame you. How’s the hand?” she asked.
He shrugged. “If I’m distracted, it doesn’t bother me. When I was pretending I was someone else at the mobile home park, or looking at the photos…”
“You want a pain pill?”
“No,” he said. “A distraction.”
“Well, I’ve got the murder files, but are you really up to that?”
He hesitated, then said, “Sure.”
She looked over at me and said, “What about you? You’re looking a little worn down.”
“I’ll get a couple of aspirins. I’ll be all right.”
“I’ll get them for you,” she said, standing.
Travis turned to me and said, “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
“It’s okay. And by the way, I think there are plenty of people to be proud of on the Spanning side of your family.”
For a moment I thought that little bit of understanding was going to be his undoing. I saw his eyes tear up, but he struggled to pull himself back under control. I got up to check my answering machine, just to give him a minute to himself. There was a message from Margot, saying she was back home and asking me to stop picking on Harold Richmond. Rachel, overhearing it, rolled her eyes.
“I guess I hadn’t really expected her to stay away from him,” I said.
There were two messages from McCain, requests to give him a call- polite as usual. Rachel just shook her head at those. I took the aspirin.
Travis was still thinking about Gerald. When we sat back down on the couch, he said, “Why? Why would he lie about something like knowing my father was dead?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe he just wanted a chance to leave the room with Deeny, to talk to her out of earshot. When we first came in, I caught her giving him surprised looks a couple of times. Something was going on there, I’m just not sure what.”
“Or he wanted me to believe he really missed my dad, wanted the two of us to share sympathy-have something that would bring us together.”
“I don’t know. He could have done that without the lie.” I thought for a moment while Rachel, who had ignored two empty chairs to sit down on the floor in front of us, began pulling copies out of envelopes. The envelopes made me think of the DeMont inheritance. “I hate to ask this, Travis, but have you made a will?”
“Yes. I provided for my mother,” he said, and again I saw him struggle for self-control. After a minute he said, “I guess I’ll have to make a new one. I’ll talk to Mr. Brennan. I-I wanted to talk to him anyway, about setting up an endowment in my father’s memory, something for local adult literacy programs.”
“That’s a good cause,” Rachel said absently. “I had an aunt-came here from the old country. She learned to read from one of those programs-adult school, at night.”
“Irene didn’t tell you?” Travis asked.
“I wanted to respect your confidences-” I began.
“Yes,” he interrupted, “and I appreciate it.”
“Tell me what?”
“My father was illiterate.”