Despite all the wreckage and chaos, my heart followed her down that hallway.
So fucking pathetic how I can ’t just let her go.
Lunchmate
Avery
“I think I need professional help, Matt.”
“Well, you’ve come to the right person,” he joked as his gaze moved from his plate to my face.
“I’m serious, Matt. Ever since I confronted Susan, everything has gotten worse. I feel like I’m the one suffering from insomnia and guilt now. Can you imagine if she hadn’t made it?” I shook my head.
Matt slid out of the booth and came around to sit next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “You know it wasn’t your fault, right?”
“She had a heart condition, Matt! How did I not know this?” I slammed my hand on the table.
He sighed. “Because everyone in that family has been lying to you. There was no way you knew she’d have a heart attack. You went over there for answers, and you deserved them.”
“But at what cost?”
He squeezed my shoulder. “Have you been to visit her?”
I shook my head vigorously. “Are you crazy? I almost killed the woman. I’m not going to the hospital and making things worse.”
“Avery… Come on, stop being so overdramatic. It was an accident. It’s not like you’re going to walk in there and yell at the woman. Just go check up on her. At least once you see her doing better, you’ll be able to sleep again.”
I scoffed. Fat chance of that. Between Susan’s heart attack, Ellie’s betrayal, and Xander’s lies, I wouldn’t be able to sleep for a year straight.
Matt got up and retook his spot on his side of the booth. “Will you at least try? It’s been five days. She’s probably being discharged soon.”
“I’ll think about it.”
He nodded, then continued eating his lunch. I picked at my salad for a few minutes. Then Matt looked up with an odd expression on his face.
“Incoming,” he muttered, staring toward the entrance.
I turned to see Xander strolling toward our table. As our eyes met, I quickly turned back to Matt.
Help, I mouthed, and he laughed at my wide-eyed look of panic. Matt took one glimpse at my face and gave me flustered look that said, What do you want me to do?
We really need to stop having lunch at the same place. Too predictable.
“Sorry to interrupt your lunch,” Xander said, stopping beside my seat.
“No, you’re not,” I blurted out. I stared down at my plate, but I was really watching him in my peripheral. I tried to pretend he wasn’t there—like if I wished him away enough, it would happen.
“Avery,” he said, trying to get my attention.
I finally looked up at him and said, “Still stalking me?”
He smiled, his dimples on full display. It wasn’t fair that he looked so beautiful despite all the shit going on right now.
“I’d call it an interest in preserving something special,” he declared.
“I’d call it obsessive attachment.”
“If so, you’ll have to take me back on for extensive treatment. Help me work you out of my system.” He raised a brow, but he wasn’t going to bait me into meeting up for a session. He was officially off my schedule.
“I’m going to go. If you need me…” Matthew stood, then waved his phone to indicate I could call him if I needed to, and left. I shook my head at him, but he just smiled as he walked away.
Some friend he is.
Xander slid into the booth with a big, satisfied smile on his face.
“You were trying to get rid of him.” I glared at him.
“Why would I want to do that? It’s just a business lunch.” He shrugged.
“And if it’s more?” I challenged, trying to get a rise out of him.
“Is it?” he asked, furrowing his brows.
“That isn’t your business.” I continued pushing my food around, my appetite completely gone now.
“Don’t fuck with me, Avery. If I’m up against him, I need to know.” He leaned a little closer across the table.
“There’s no competition. There’s nothing left between us, Xander.” I glanced up but immediately dropped my gaze back to my plate.
“Just answer one thing.” He rested his elbows on the table. “Did you fuck?”
“Why should it matter to you? Matt and I were together long before you.” This time I met his stare.
“But now you’re mine!”
I looked around and saw a few people glancing our way.
“Do you hear yourself? My God, Matt’s just a friend. But you’re not the only one who can use sex as a coping device.”
He sat back, anger glistening in his gaze and his jaw tightly clenched. There were a few minutes of silence where we just stared at each other, fighting an unspoken battle. He looked tired and frazzled.
“Are you sleeping?” Why did I ask that?
He looked back at me and shook his head.
“You know lack of sleep can make you feel like you’re losing your mind.” I must be losing mine, because I’m showing concern for his well-being.
“I don’t think it’s the insomnia this time.” He grabbed my hands and scooted forward. “Look, I really need you. I know you don’t want to be with me anymore, but can we resume our professional relationship?”
I chuckled, but he continued to stare at me with serious pleading eyes. “Nothing between you and me stays professional.” I looked down at our joined hands and pulled mine back. It felt a little too comfortable to let him hold me. “And you know that.”
“Avery, please. I promise to tone it down. No touching, no flirting, just you and me talking. I want to have a chance to explain why I did the things I did. Why I kept things from you.”
“Why you lied.”
He looked away. He couldn’t even look me in the eyes and tell me he lied. Why would I believe he even saw the error in how he handled things? “I’m sorry, Xander, but I’m just not ready for this.” I picked up my bag, then got up and left.
Houseguest
Xander
“Xander?” The faulty reception on my phone made Veronica sound far away.
“What’s going on, Veronica?” The last time I’d seen her in L.A., she’d been so angry I thought I’d never hear from her again.
“I need you to pick me up.” The reception was improving, but I still couldn’t make sense of why she thought I’d come back to California for her. She must be high again.
“I’m not in L.A., Veronica. You know that.” I said it slowly, like I was speaking to a child.
“Neither am I. I’m at Sea-Tac International Airport.”
I swerved onto the shoulder and stopped the car. “What are you doing at Sea-Tac?”
“I really needed to get away, Xander. Please… can I stay with you for a few days? I promise no drugs or drinking. I just need to disappear for a few days.”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t you ask me that before you got your ass on the plane?”
She was quiet for a few seconds. Then she admitted, “Because I knew you’d say no, and if I was already here…”
I’d let her stay.
Fuck!
“I’ll come get you, but two days max. I got too much going on to deal with your shit too.”
“Thanks, Xander.” Her tone perked up before I clicked off the line, made a U-turn, and headed to the airport. Veronica was trouble, but for years we helped each other out, and I couldn’t just leave her stranded in Seattle when she needed to get away. Our friendship had become too much of a codependent thing. Drugs, alcohol, sex, rinse, repeat. I didn’t want to get stuck in the cycle again. I knew about needing to get away, and there was nowhere more secluded than my place.