As I turned to leave the room, he caught my arm, pulled me, and I fell onto the bed. For an intoxicated man, he was quick. In seconds, he was over me—kissing my neck and nudging up my shirt.
“Xander, stop.” I wished I sounded more convincing. I wished my body wasn’t responding to his touches. His right hand was massaging my breast while his left hand worked the button on my shorts.
Stop him now.
I knew my resistance when it came to Xander was slim, so it would be wise to press the brakes before this turned into a disaster, but despite my pushing against him, he was persistent.
His hand and lips were very persuasive, and I lost all hope when he whispered, “Just let me make you come. God… I just want to hear you moan again.”
His hand shoved down my shorts and began working my clit with his fingers. I was embarrassed that I was already so soaking wet.
Je sus Christ, I missed his fingers… and everything else.
He slid two fingers over my clit then thrust them into my pussy. He dragged them out and over my clit again, then back in. Over and over he teased me with the delicious glide of his fingers over my slit until I was doing exactly what he asked for. Moaning—begging. He pushed up my shirt and bra, exposing my breasts. As he sucked a taut nipple into his mouth, he started to fuck me with his fingers mercilessly. I pushed up into his fingers, rolling my hips and panting as my climax mounted.
I came hard in a sexually induced duplicitous haze that caused me to forget—even for a few short minutes—how disappointed and angry I was with this man. I blamed it on the physical pull. My body was asinine—clueless to how deceitful this man had been to us. It was a carnally hungry savage beast that took its pleasure from Xander despite the resulting agony.
His head was on my collarbone, breaths softly brushing against my skin. He was moments from falling into a drunken stupor with his fingers still buried in my treacherous pussy. Yes, that’s right. I decided to blame it all on my pussy and her unwavering need to feel Xander’s touch.
He sighed, lying half on me, half on the bed. I shifted and his fingers slipped out of me. His other hand rested over my breast. Then he finished me off with a dagger to the heart.
“I love you so much it hurts,” he mumbled.
I choked back a sob as I slipped out from under the heavy weight of his arm, fixed my clothes, and crossed the room. He weakly lifted his head, reaching out for me, but quickly slumped back down and fell asleep.
Out on the patio, I lay on the lounger and gazed up at the stars. Outside, I was still in one piece, but inside, I was shattered. I was in no shape to drive home. So I lay out under the stars and did something I hadn’t done since the night my parents died.
I let go and cried.
I grieved for my parents and sobbed because I was so completely in love with the man who had taken them from me. I didn’t know how to make it stop. I didn’t know how to reconcile the guilt I felt for carrying these feelings for someone I should hate. Love was a complex emotion. You could combine hate, disappointment, resentment, pain, grief, confusion, and add a drop of love, and somehow that emotion took over everything else—rose to the top and controlled everything you were.
The saddest part was Xander knew he had a chance. I knew he had a chance. I loved him beyond reason, and he was taking full advantage of that.
Hangovers
Avery
I woke with a start. The sun was coming up, and a chill passed through me from the early morning breeze. I heard a clattering sound and sat up. I glanced through the glass door that led into Xander’s room, but he was still asleep. A light flicked on in another part of the house, and I heard more noise.
There were two doors leading out onto the patio, and the other one led into the kitchen. I got up, crept around the corner, and peeked through the door. My breath caught when I saw Veronica in Xander’s kitchen.
Her back was to me and the doors were locked, so I made my way back to Xander’s room, came inside through that door, and then went straight to the kitchen.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, a little too pushy for someone who wanted nothing to do with Xander anymore. But considering his hand had been in my panties hours ago, I presumed that gave me a right to answers. Or so I convinced myself.
She frowned and continued fixing herself a sandwich. Then she shrugged. “I’ve been here for three days,” she said all matter-of-fact.
I watched her move around Xander’s kitchen in her bra and panties as if she were at home. I was angry. I could admit that. Jealous? I wasn’t so eager to admit that, but the twinge was present. It didn’t mean I wanted my place back in Xander’s life; it just meant I wasn’t happy he could so easily replace me, then lure me back in last night with magic fingers and gut-wrenching words that spoke to my heart.
I shook my head and walked back toward Xander’s room. I wasn’t going to spend energy arguing with Veronica when I could get answers from Xander.
“Xander!” I stormed into his room.
“Hmm,” he grumbled, grabbing a pillow and sandwiching his head between it. He was completely nude, curled up on his side with his abs taut and his huge, hard cock on display.
God, I miss that cock. I shook my head to clear the lust that was slowly building and cursed my body for being so weak.
And when the hell did he get naked?
“Xander!”
“Hmmm… hurts…” He moaned. The hangover was hitting him full force.
“Xander.” I crossed my arms, standing over him. He peeked out from under the pillow and flinched.
“So bright.” He squeezed his eyes shut, and I yanked away the pillow. He moaned again before looking at me through narrowed eyes. “You look like an angel.”
“You need to get up. We need to talk before I leave.”
He turned onto his back, rubbing his palm over his face, and I had to turn around because really, there was no need to torment myself with his naked glory.
“Can I shower first?” he grumbled.
I nodded and stood there with my back to him until he got up and went to the bathroom. Then I plopped onto his bed and waited.
Xander came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and another towel in his hand, rubbing it against his wet hair.
“Why is Veronica here?” I asked first. All the important things we needed to talk about, and I let my jealousy take the front seat.
He didn’t hesitate. “She flew out here after her boyfriend roughed her up. I couldn’t just turn her away.”
“Did you sleep with her?” I studied his face for a reaction.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He grimaced, then shook his head. “No.”
“How long is she staying?”
“I’m taking her to the airport today. She’s sucking me back into a place I don’t want to be. This place isn’t working out for her anyway.” He pulled off his towel, turned, and pulled out a pair of boxer briefs from his dresser.
I stood and turned my back to him.
“Look, Xander, you can’t pull something like this again, then call me and make me feel like shit,” I said, trying to focus on the wall instead of him parading around naked.
He looked confused. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad.”
“I know, but when you break your sobriety and I know it’s about us, I feel bad.” I sighed. “I mean, you called me and—”
“It won’t happen again.” He stopped moving around and gave me a sincere look of sorrow. I was pretty sure I pushed him over the edge when I ended our phone call the first time, but he obviously didn’t want me to bring it up.