I nodded. “But you did hurt me. I don’t care if you make mistakes. I just need to be able to trust you. Trust that you’ll tell me the truth and know I’ll stand by you.”
He nodded, and I leaned up and kissed his jaw.
We stayed that way—just holding each other, our fingers running over smooth skin as tangible evidence this was real and not another dream.
After what seemed like an hour, I asked, “Would you do something for me?”
“Anything,” he declared.
“Talk to Ian.” Ian and I had discussed this, and I knew he was ready to move forward.
“Oh, fuck no!” He released me abruptly, swung his legs off the bed, and pulled on a pair of briefs.
“You said anything,” I reminded him.
He turned back to me with a grimace on his face. “Why do you want this? He’s gotten to you, hasn’t he?”
“What does that even mean? Gotten to me how?” I scoffed.
“He always had a way of getting women to feel sorry for him… fall in love with him.”
“Really, Xander?” I got up with the sheet clutched to my chest. “I don’t want Ian. If it were that simple to turn off what I feel for you, I would’ve done it.”
He looked at me with a hurt expression on his face before he turned away.
“I’m sorry, but if I had a choice, I would’ve walked away. I just wasn’t strong enough.”
He turned back to me, reached out, and touched my arm. “You’re the strongest woman I know. And for the record, you did walk away. You took time to run it through that overactive brain of yours and decided I was worth the chance.”
I smiled because that’s exactly what I thought. Xander was worth it, and what we had was worth a lot more than a chance. Anger blinded me—kept me from giving him that second chance sooner. I’m just glad I simmered down long enough to realize I wanted him in my life.
I reached up and ran my hand across the morning fuzz growing on his face. “Look, I just want you two to heal. It’s time to let go of the past and move on.”
“We’d kill each other in a room alone.”
“So I’ll be there. You guys can come to my office. Neutral ground. Safe haven.” I winked at him.
“I can’t believe I’m even considering doing this,” he said, pulling away the sheet and leaving me exposed. He pulled me into his arms and smiled as he kissed the spot on my neck that guaranteed him a happy morning.
“But you are considering it, though? Right?”
He nodded against my neck, and I smirked because he had a lot of making up to do, and there was no way he wouldn’t show up. I may be getting my way for quite a while.
More Sessions?
Avery
Xander and Ian sat at separate ends of the room. Body language spoke volumes in the silent space. Xander’s body was shifted to the left and he was looking out the window. Ian, on the other hand, was on the right side of the room, pacing nervously. Xander wanted nothing to do with this session, and Ian seemed to want to get everything out and move forward. Somehow I had to get them on the same page.
“Xander?” He was too lost in space to hear me.”Xander!”
He startled, then turned to me.
“Would you like to start? Is there anything you want to say to Ian?”
He glanced at Ian and shook his head.
When our gazes clashed, I gave him an irritated look, and he widened his eyes and held up his hands like, What?
He knew what I wanted. He promised he’d try, and he was barely even here.
“Ian.” I turned to him, and he stopped his slow pacing. “Would you like to have a seat?” He shook his head and continued pacing.
“Okay, would you like to begin?” I asked him.
He stopped, looking at Xander, and nodded. It took a few moments of anxiety before he spoke up, and I almost thought he wouldn’t. “I know you think everything wrong in this family began with you, but you’re wrong.”
Xander looked up at him, surprised.
We’d both overheard what he’d said to his mom in the hospital, and I’m betting Xander had no clue.
Ian stood in the center of the room with his hands buried in his pockets, head hung low. “I ruined our chance of being brothers long before Jessica came into the picture.”
Xander flinched and turned away. It was like the mention of Jessica’s name reminded him why he needed to shut Ian out, and the wall stood firm.
“Maybe it’s too late, but Avery and I have been talking and—”
“Is this you and him against me now?” Xander directed his question at me as his eyes accused me of taking sides.
“No. I told you before I’m not on any sides. But Ian’s ready to take the steps necessary to move forward. Are you?”
Xander shook his head, turned, and grumbled something under his breath.
“Xander?” His gaze shifted back to me. “Why are you so resistant to mending your relationship with your brother?”
“Because there was never a relationship to mend. I’m too old to still be running around after him, looking for acceptance.”
“You never needed my acceptance,” Ian spoke up.
“How the fuck do you know what I needed?” Xander finally met Ian’s eyes with his furious outburst. “I was a pathetic kid eager for even a few minutes of your time, but you hated me. It took me years to come to grips with that. It only took losing Jessica to figure it out. And now you want me to believe after all these years you care?” Xander shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“You’re right. I hated you.” Xander threw Ian a look of pure loathing. “I resented you, and there was never anything you could’ve done to change it.”
Xander snorted, shook his head, and bit his bottom lip. I wished he’d stop holding back and just let go of his rage. “I don’t care anymore.”
“Then why are you here?” Ian’s eyebrows knitted in confusion.
“Because Avery asked me to come.” Their gazes locked as they silently faced off.
Ian broke the stare-down first with his sigh. He looked at me and said, “This is pointless.”
“No, it’s not. I didn’t expect you two to come in here and everything miraculously be resolved. As long as you guys agree to keep meeting this way and say the things you need to get out, then we’re making progress.”
Xander was staring across the room, and Ian was looking at me reluctantly. He stood up and glanced at Xander like he needed some space.
“I’m sorry, Avery. I gotta go.”
Ian was already walking toward the door when I called out, “Will you come back?”
“Yeah, if you think it will help.” He glanced over his shoulder at Xander before walking out. As soon as the door shut, Xander gave me a doubtful look.
“That went well,” he said sarcastically.
“Not that you made much effort.”
He shrugged. “I said I would come, not that I was going to fall for his bullshit.”
“He was being sincere.” I rose and walked toward him.
“We'll see.”
“So you’re willing to have another session with him?” I smiled as I sat on his lap.
“More sessions? I have a feeling I’ll be spending the rest of my life in this office, talking about feelings.”
“I’ll always look out for you.” I brushed my fingers through his hair.
He buried his face into my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I trust your instincts. If you think Ian’s being real, then I’ll give him a chance.”
I sat back and cupped his face with my hands. “I’m proud of you. I know it’s hard for you to give him any kind of chance.”
He smiled, his dimples causing a fluttering in my belly. “I’m going to try to give him a chance. After all, if you didn’t give me a second chance, I would’ve been lost. Maybe what you’re envisioning can come to play, but it will take time.”
I raised an eyebrow. “When did you become a therapist?”
He chuckled. “I got my degree by association. Your brilliance rubbed off on me.”