Xander
After a week of not seeing Avery, I knew I had to face the truth.
What was left of our relationship was flimsy at best—hanging on by its last string. But that last string was strong enough that I’d bet everything I had on it holding firm. Because although I’d cut the trust string and sawed away at the honesty one, that last string was love. And no matter how bad I’d fucked up everything else, that string was the most important, and it was going to bind us together.
I decided to show up at Avery’s office at lunchtime to see if she’d give me a few minutes, but Angela told me she was out. I didn’t know if she was lying or not, so I hung around outside, hoping to catch her returning.
When I finally caught sight of Avery strolling up the street, she wasn’t alone. If she would’ve gone to lunch with Matt, I wouldn’t have been surprised, because though I didn’t know what happened between them, I knew they’d always be close.
I was completely shell-shocked when I saw her walking with Ian. And laughing like everything in the world was fucking amazing. Seeing her with him made me sick with jealousy. From my spot across the street, I watched as they stopped in front of her office, and Ian embraced her in a long hug that lasted way too fucking long. Actually, I would’ve considered half a second too long. Now that we were on rocky ground, this thing with Ian made me more than a little anxious.
Avery pushed open the door and slipped inside the building as Ian turned. Our eyes collided. He smirked. And that was enough to put me over the edge. I crossed the street and confronted him.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m not doing anything. If you don’t know how to take care of her, you don’t deserve her.” He raised an eyebrow.
“It makes you feel so fucking good that you were able to ruin me, right? You don’t even want Avery. You just get off on taking what’s mine. I won’t let you do this again.”
“You don’t deserve her just like you didn’t deserve Jessica.” He took a step forward, and with my temper flaring, I didn’t think that was a good idea.
“And you did? You think if she saw who you were now she’d still want you?” He flinched but didn’t say anything. “Just stay the fuck away from Avery.”
“And if I don’t? You know once I get my hands on her she’ll never come back to you. Jessica would’ve never come back to you. That’s why you killed her.”
And that did it.
I was done. I wasn’t taking his shit anymore. I’d tolerated him for years because I thought I deserved it, but now that he was trying to come between Avery and me, I was done.
Before I reined in my anger, I’d slammed my fist into Ian’s face, pushed him against a nearby car, and wrapped my hand around his neck. He got in one good hit that hurt enough to loosen my hold on him.
“What are you doing? Let him go.” I heard Avery’s voice, but it didn’t register she’d come back out until she started pulling at my arm. I released Ian and wiped the blood off my lip with the back of my hand. Avery glared at me angrily while she checked on Ian. Once she’d talked him into leaving, she pulled me into the building’s lobby and crossed her arms.
“Months ago I asked you who you were. Underneath all the bullshit and lies, who the fuck are you, Xander? Because I still don’t know. Street fights? Sleeping with strangers, then lying to me when you found out who she was. Not to mention the accident.” She stuck a finger into my chest and continued. “You should’ve told me the minute you found out. You should’ve trusted me—trusted this.” She waved a finger between us, angrily. “Instead, you fucked with my emotions. I don’t know what you think what just happened out there will prove. To me, it proves I never knew you.”
“Avery, you know me. You know things with Ian and me have always been volatile. You hanging out with him pushed me over the edge.”
“Well, he’s my friend. He tells me the truth. Right now, I can use all the friends I can get, because people are dropping out of my life really fast.” She turned and walked straight into the elevator. The doors opened as soon as she stepped in front of them, and she never looked back as they slid shut again.
Your Mom For Mine
Avery
I woke alone and immediately glanced at Xander’s side of the bed. I couldn’t comprehend how I’d slept in it alone for years, but three months with Xander, and all of a sudden, he’d left an invisible imprint in my bed—claiming the spot as his. It all came down to these awful mornings where I’d wake up missing his soft morning kisses and heated glances.
I hated myself for still craving him—for still loving him. There was no easy way to get over him, but I was determined to find it. Because as it stood now, he owned my heart, and I was almost convinced I was better off without it anyway.
As a psychiatrist, I knew all the medical ways to twist and turn my feelings to make them all seem like a normal part of the breakup process. But the hollowness inside me wasn’t normal, and there was no textbook that told me how to fill it back up. I knew I was balancing on a dangerous line. Love was a catalyst for a whole slew of diseases. It wasn’t love that was the problem; it was how we dealt with the destruction that quickly pulled us under.
The feelings he made me feel were too reckless for this to end well. Going from being blissfully in love to unbelievably hostile toward Xander happened so abruptly it was akin to having a fever and being thrown into an ice-filled tub of water. The shock of it had my body seizing and my emotions scrambling to make sense of the unexpected change. Hence, the ridiculous withdrawal I had from not waking next to Xander.
I hopped out of bed, took a shower, and trudged into the kitchen. The house was quiet. With both Ellie and Xander out of my life, loneliness had become my true companion. Not that my life was brimming with people to begin with, but in one fell swoop, I’d lost Ellie, Xander, and Susan.
Susan…
I hid from the whole Susan issue for quite a while. I avoided her after the strange dinner we’d had at her house. It was as though I didn’t want to push for answers because I sensed total devastation.
I pretty much had figured out why she’d become part of my life, but I needed to face her. It was Saturday, and I had absolutely no plans. I knew I had to make a trip to Pierce Manor so I’d stop mentally mapping out all the ways Susan had deceived me and get the truth out of her—if that were even possible coming from a Pierce.
~*~*~
I pulled up to Pierce Manor, and my gut clenched. The first time I came here with Xander, I thought it looked like a modern castle—really pretty but obnoxiously large for a small family. That day the rolling green lawns and the sheer extravagance of the place intimidated me. I just knew I wasn’t going to have anything in common with Mrs. Pierce, not realizing that I’d bonded with her for almost half my life.
I talked myself into getting out of the car, climbing the stairs, and ringing the doorbell. Susan opened the door, the smile slowly fading from her face. She seemed a little taken aback by my arrival, but she had to know I’d come sooner or later.
Susan was always youthful in her appearance despite being in her mid-fifties—light-brown shoulder-length hair, minor wrinkles around her gray eyes. Nothing like Xander’s color-fluctuating irises. He must’ve inherited a combination of his parents’ eyes, because they were quite unique.
“Avery,” she greeted me cautiously as she stepped back and let me into the house. “Come. I was just about to have some coffee.”
She shut the door, and I followed her through the foyer, down a long hallway, and into the kitchen. I sat at the table next to the window looking out onto a huge garden.
“Cream and sugar in your coffee, right?”
I turned to her and our eyes met. “I don’t want any coffee, Susan.”
“How about tea?” She picked up a tea kettle.