“You,” I whimper, reaching my hands toward him.
He lifts his other leg up and holds his body above mine. “Tell me what you want.”
I lift my hips, but it’s no use. It doesn’t give me what I want. “You. I need you inside of me. Now.”
He lowers himself on top of me, his lips parting as he enters me. There’s nothing slow and sweet about it—he pushes in as far as my body will allow him. “Fuck,” he mutters, pulling back out. “You feel so fucking good wrapped around me.”
I moan, feeling the pressure build as he thrusts himself into me over and over. With Derek, it was all about him. He didn’t touch me like this. He didn’t wind my body like this. He wasn’t Blake.
Blake holds my hands above my head, kissing my lips and neck. I wither under him. Every time I think I’m going to scream, he captures my lips, swallowing my cries. The tingle between my legs intensifies. I’m going to lose it, and by the quickening of his movements, he’s going to come right along with me.
“Who are you going to dream about tonight in your sleep? Who’s going to be touching you?”
I pant, arching up to take in more of him. “You, Blake. I’m going to think about you.”
His lips curl up at one side. “Good girl.”
Without notice, he lets go of my hands and uses my leg as leverage to flip me over onto my stomach. I lift my ass, making it easier for him as he pounds into me. When he presses his hand against my lower back, my body falls over the edge clenching tightly around him.
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, wrapping his arm around my stomach. He’s throbbing inside of me as my body grips him. When I come off the high, we both fall onto the bed. I’m sated, tired, and more relaxed than I’ve been in months. I’d do it all over again right now if he asked.
Blake rolls off me and lays at the edge of the bed. I hear him breathing heavily, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. What do two people who aren’t dating do after sex?
“Are you okay?” he finally asks, breaking my thoughts.
I turn to face him. He’s staring up at the ceiling, rubbing his hand along his jaw. “More than okay.”
“Good.” He glances toward me, and then rolls off the bed and heads to the bathroom without another word. When he shuts the door behind him, I take that as my cue. There’s not going to be any post sex cuddles. No bed sharing. This is what he meant by leaving our hearts out of it.
I slip off his bed and hurry to pick my clothes off the floor before making my way back to my bedroom. I thought I was okay with this, maybe I still am, but it’s not what I’m used to. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it again.
FAMILIAR SOUNDS COME FROM the kitchen. I groan, concluding that Blake’s never going to follow that rule. I pull my pillow over my ears, but when the blender starts pulsing, I give up and throw my robe on. This is getting ridiculous.
When I open my bedroom door, I spot Blake in only a pair of gray sweatpants, pouring a pink liquid from the blender. I smell strawberries and bananas—one of my favorite flavor combinations.
He spins around when he hears my bare feet on the hardwood. “Good morning.” He smiles. It’s hard to stay mad at him when he does that.
“Breaking the rules again?” I ask, leaning against the counter.
He shrugs. “I didn’t think they were still effective, after last night and all.”
“I don’t see how that changes anything.”
He drops the spoon on the stovetop and steps to me, caging me in with his arms. “It does.”
I swallow, doing everything I can to back away. It’s no use. “But you said . . .”
“I promised to fuck you today, remember? You need to eat first,” he interrupts, his perusing eyes seducing me.
Oh, God. I didn’t forget it, but after how things ended last night, I didn’t take it too seriously. I certainly didn’t think he wanted an early morning screw.
“Cat got your tongue?” he teases, smiling down at me. I want to kiss his perfect, full lips, but I’m not sure that’s allowed. This is all foreign to me.
“Why do I have to be up this early? We have all day.”
He cups my chin in his hand, tilting my head to give his mouth access to my neck. “I’m leaving town this afternoon, and I won’t be back until Monday,” he announces, nibbling on more of my delicate skin. “I need one more taste before I go.”
Resting my hands on his bare shoulders, I’m torn between rubbing them and using my leverage to push him away. In a way, this cheapens me. If I’m going to be at his beck and call, letting him fuck me when he needs his fix, what am I going to get from that? There’s no doubt he feels amazing, but what am I really doing?
“What if I don’t want to?” I ask, lightly pushing against him.
He stops, leaning back to get a better look at me. “Jesus, Lila, I’d never make you do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t make it sound that way.”
“Sorry,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m not a morning person so this is what you get when you wake me up.”
“Really?” He brushes his thumb against my cheek. “What if I feed you? I made smoothies.”
I love smoothies. “Can I have some of your eggs too?”
His head tilts. “Now, you’re pushing it.”
“I’m hungry. Someone made me work up quite an appetite last night.”
“I’ll think about it.”
I smirk, a new deck of cards falling in my hands. “What if I told you that I have nothing on under this robe?”
He growls, eyes darting to my exposed cleavage. Men can be so easy. “Nothing?”
“Nope.”
He reaches back, grabbing a glass of the smoothie concoction he made and handing it to me. I put the glass to my lips, swallowing down the delicious strawberry-banana drink. He watches me, zeroing in on my mouth. I decide to play with him, licking the cold liquid that lingers on my lips. “That’s good,” I murmur.
Blake presses his body against mine, pulling the glass from my hand. He kisses my chin, then finds my eyes again. “You’re right. That’s delicious.”
He lifts me up on the counter, standing between my spread legs. His hands brush against the inside of my thighs until his thumb makes contact with my clit. Breakfast is burning, but the need to be wrapped in each other is stronger than the need to save a few eggs.
It’s not long until my robe is open, and I’m completely exposed, crumbling in his arms again.
I toss and turn, unable to sleep with my first day of work looming over my head. It’s a test, one I will either pass or fail. It wouldn’t be so bad, but failure means being stuck at a place like Charlie’s for the rest of my life. That I can’t live with.
It’s been two days since Blake and I had sex in the kitchen. When he left soon after, there was no goodbye kiss.
And for the last two days, I’ve missed him, or maybe I’ve missed his hands on me. He said we had to leave our hearts out of this, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m really cut out for that. When I fall, I fall quickly. Love doesn’t come with a parachute; I learned that the hard way.
I quickly shower and blow-dry my hair. Since the rest of my things finally came, I have a whole wardrobe to choose from.
I dress, curl my hair, and carefully apply enough make-up to brighten my appearance but not look too overdone, and head out the door a good ninety minutes before my shift begins to catch the train. If I’m lucky, I’ll have time to grab a latte along the way. I’d kill for one to chase away that Monday feeling.
My body shakes from nerves while I wait for the train and then again while I ride. Feeling as if everything is going to reach a boiling point, I pull my cell phone out and call Mom.
“Hello,” she answers. Just hearing her voice makes everything ten times better.
“Hi, Mom, how are things on the farm?” I ask, noticing other passengers watching me. It’s crowded and being so close to all these strangers is making me claustrophobic.