“Now I’m excited,” she says, watching me pull on my coat. I lift my purse from her fingers and follow her to the elevator. As we step on, I glance around for Pierce. He’s not there. And again, when we walk through the lobby, I search for him. I don’t know what I’d say if he walked up. And within seconds, Reece would know something is up. She’s too perceptive.
The café is small and dimly lit. It’s one of the few places around here that isn’t often used for business lunches between important executives.
We each order soup and find a table in the back, away from the busy counter. “You’re quiet,” Reece says, staring me down from across the table.
“I’m tired. Two days of traveling and meetings wore me out more than I thought it would.”
“So, what was it like?” Not knowing is killing her. I’m surprised she didn’t convince me to join her for coffee this morning.
“What part?” I ask, delaying the inevitable.
“Let’s start with New York.”
A smile actually plays on my lips for the first time today. “If you haven’t tried it, you need to make time for the frozen hot chocolate. Hands down, one of the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth.”
“And the meetings?”
I sit back, trying to get comfortable in the wooden chair. “Interesting. The guy we met with is a complete asshole. It ended up being a pissing match between him and Pierce.”
“Did he end up picking Stanley for the project?”
I think back to how the meeting ended yesterday. “Umm . . . probably not.”
“That sucks. It would’ve been a nice excuse for all of us to visit New York.” She takes a bite of her soup, then continues, “And Pierce?”
“What about him?” I ask.
“What was it like being alone with him for two days?”
It depends on which part, I think to myself. “He’s charming and sweet . . . easy to talk to.”
She sets her spoon down, studying me. “And?”
“Can we talk about something else?”
“Nope,” she says, shaking her head for extra emphasis.
Pierce and I crossed over so many boundaries, but I’m not going to admit to all of them. But I need to talk to someone. “He kissed me.”
“Shut up!”
After looking to make sure no one is listening, I turn back to her. “I can’t do it, Reece. I can’t be with him like that, and I hate myself for it.”
“Do you know how crazy you sound right now? What do you mean?”
Good question. “I moved here to get over a broken heart, and when I started messing around with Blake, I thought I could do it. I thought someone else still owned my heart . . . that it wasn’t mine to steal. I was wrong; I had it, and Blake took it right out of my hands. I know he’s not the right guy, but I’m having a hard time letting him go.”
“And Pierce?” she asks quietly, hanging on my every word.
“I wish things were different. I wish I’d fallen for him, but it’s hard to fall when I’m already down.”
“Is it impossible?”
“What?”
“To fall for Pierce?”
I close my eyes, thinking about what it would be like to be the woman on Pierce’s arm. To have him worship me . . . to take care of me. How safe it would feel. It’s what I imagined last night, lying in my quiet, dark apartment. It should’ve been him.
“No,” I say honestly. “I just can’t have a future with someone when I haven’t closed the book on my past.”
“Have you talked to Blake, to try to work this all out?”
I stare down at my full soup bowl, stirring my spoon along its edges. “No. He’s out of town for a few days.”
“Lila, you know you can trust me, don’t you?”
I nod.
“When he gets back, you need to talk to him . . . you need to let him go.”
I nod again. It’s all I can do. She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know. It’s just not that easy.
We head back to the office, and I get lost in a sea of fabric samples for the rest of the afternoon. The day speeds by, giving way to a much-needed weekend. I’m actually looking forward to Charlie’s, to the distraction it provides.
As I step outside, I wrap my arms tightly around my stomach. It’s dark, and light snow flurries blow across my face.
I’m about to round the corner to the train stop when I come face to face with the man I’ve been trying to avoid all day long.
I’ve never been very good at hide-and-seek.
“Hey,” he says quietly, tucking his hands in his pockets.
“Hi.”
“I haven’t seen you all day. Have you been avoiding me?”
He’s standing so close the light breeze carries his scent toward me. The lies that want to slip from my lips fade from memory.
“Maybe,” I answer quietly, brushing my hair from my face.
He reaches up, hesitantly, helping with a strand I missed. “I don’t want it to be this way.”
“I’m good at running.”
“Don’t run from me.”
“You don’t know me, Pierce.”
“I want to,” he replies quickly, brushing his thumb across my cool cheek. “Friends, Lila. That’s all I’m asking for.”
I nod against his palm. It feels too good to pull away.
“I was just about to grab some coffee around the corner. Do you want to join me?” he asks.
“I have plans.”
His hand falls away. “Have you talked to him?”
He doesn’t need to clarify. My whole world revolves around him right now. It also doesn’t get past me that he assumed my plans were with Blake. I guess I can’t blame him. “No, he’s out of town for a while, I guess.”
His expression softens. “Can I at least give you a ride somewhere?”
I think about it for a few seconds, hearing the train leaving in the distance. It will be at least fifteen minutes before the next one. “Yeah, if it’s not too far out of your way, that would be great. Thank you.”
He makes a quick call and two minutes later his black Escalade pulls up. We both jump in, leaving downtown Chicago as a backdrop.
“Are you going home for Christmas?” he asks, breaking through the silence. I feel him staring at me but fixate my eyes on the passing buildings.
“No, not this year.” I’ve been so consumed by everything that’s going on in my life, I almost forgot it’s only days away. It’s too late to make plans now, even if I could afford it.
“You better not be spending it alone in that tiny apartment of yours, Ms. Fields.” I kind of like when he calls me that. It brings me back to when we first met . . . when things were normal.
“Don’t worry about me. There’s Skype.”
“Seriously?”
I laugh, thinking about A Christmas Story and horrible take out. “You should try it.”
The rest of the ride is quiet, and when we pull up in front of my building, he climbs out before I get a chance. He keeps his hands to himself as he walks me to the door.
“Have a nice weekend, and Merry Christmas, Lila.”
“You too,” I answer back, walking through the open door.
Before it closes all the way, he pushes his way in. I walk back to give him space, my heart thudding against my ribcage. He comes close, and when I think he might kiss me, he stops, his warm breath hitting my lips. “I have one more thing I need to say.”
I swallow, looking up into his warm green eyes.
“When you’re lying in bed tonight—thinking—remember that I’m here and he’s not.”
Before I can respond, he’s gone.
WHEN I WALK INTO MY APARTMENT, my thoughts are so wrapped around Pierce’s words that I almost miss Blake leaning against the counter. He’s the opposite of the man who dropped me off just minutes ago—fitted long-sleeve white T-shirt, faded jeans that mold to his body in all the right places, his blond hair curling under his gray beanie. Times like this, I get why I fell for him so hard. I wish he’d stop reminding me.