But apparently it hadn’t.
“Admit it! You’re the reason the Parrishables are after us,” he accused, confirming all my fears. “Everything always has to be about you. And that’s what’s getting people killed. I just don’t get why everyone thinks you’re so special!”
“Enough!” Sascha screamed.
Fallon and I both jumped at the sound and pivoted to see her standing now. We’d been so entrenched in our argument that we hadn’t even heard her get up from her chair. Sascha had been silent the entire ride home, so her outburst was enough to render us quiet for the time being.
“Hadley, don’t you dare make him feel like this is all his fault. We’re family now and we will always help one of our own,” Sascha said, giving me a look. Then she turned to Fallon. “As misguided and careless as they may be.”
This was both of our faults. I looked down at the floor and thought carefully about what to say next. When I finally spoke, it was directed toward Fallon. “You think I’m happy that some crazy reverend guy is obsessed with me?” I asked.
Then, before I even knew it was coming, I began to laugh.
I’m not sure if it was because I was tired or maybe I’d finally lost it, but suddenly what he was saying seemed like the funniest thing in the world. Fallon’s face morphed into astonishment as I leaned back in hysterics. And then the reality of what he’d said hit me and I laughed so hard I began to cry.
I cried because he was right.
I still had no idea why, but the reverend’s henchman had made it clear that I was the reason all of this was happening. Which meant I was responsible for the deaths of our parents. And the fact that Jasmine and Jinx were both injured, so swollen and bruised that they needed round-the-clock medical care, was because of me too.
Dammit, I’d been trying everything in my power not to go there. The last thing I wanted to do was relive the experience of being in the hospital where we’d just left the others. It had been hard enough being there the first time. But I couldn’t stop my brain from recalling what had happened, like it was a movie on repeat.
By the time we’d gotten to the hospital, the two girls were in pretty bad shape. Smelling salts had done the trick to wake Jasmine, although the doctor said she’d hit her head so hard that she had a concussion. Even though she was awake now and talking, she needed to be monitored closely for the next forty-eight hours to make sure there wasn’t more serious damage.
They checked out Sascha too, but besides the fact that the poor girl looked like a human punching bag, she wasn’t too worse for the wear.
Jinx, on the other hand, had been rushed into emergency surgery because her injuries were so severe. When the doctor assigned to Jinx’s case questioned us about what had happened, I’d told her that we’d been jumped by some gang members at the mall and I wasn’t sure what they’d hit Jinx with. This was technically true since I hadn’t seen the spells they’d used on her. And what else was I supposed to say? My friend was hit by a spell? Yeah, right.
The reality was that whatever they’d used to attack her, they’d gotten her good. The hole burned into her side was over an inch in length and the bad guys had somehow managed to knick her liver and cause internal bleeding. I knew things were bad on account of all the blood, but apparently ripping open your internal organs is even worse. As they wheeled Jinx off to the restricted area where they’d attempt to put her back together, the nurses promised me she’d be in good hands and ordered us all to go home, since visiting hours were over and we wouldn’t be able to help her from the waiting room anyway.
And now I was realizing that it was all my fault.
When I’d cried all I could, I wiped my eyes clumsily with the backs of my hands and turned to face them both.
“Look, Fallon, I didn’t ask for any of this. I was happy just being a cheerleader at my high school. Leading the student council and going to homecoming. I was fine with leaving the big-time magic to the professionals—like Ellen DeGeneres or Christopher Walken—and just doing my own thing at home,” I said quietly. There was no fight left in me. “But you’re right. I don’t know why they’re after me, but they are. People are hurt because of me.”
“You’re not the only one they’re waging war on, Had,” Sascha said, finally having calmed down. “Like I said, we’re in this together.”
What she said set something off in my head and suddenly everything seemed clear. I knew what I had to do to make everything right.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be,” I said, reaching over and grabbing my purse off the back of the chair.
“What are you talking about?” Fallon asked.
“The Parrishables are after me. Not you guys, just me,” I said, pointing to myself unceremoniously. “You’re safer here without me.”
I began to walk out of the kitchen and toward the front door.
“Hadley!” Sascha pleaded. “You can’t go.”
I stopped halfway down the hall but didn’t turn around.
“I have to,” I said, tearing up again. “Keep training. Take care of each other.”
Remembering what Emory had shared with me, I wrestled with whether or not to warn them. I was still no closer to knowing who the traitor was and wasn’t sure I should say anything to them either. In the end, I decided to give them something in the middle.
“Be careful.”
Then, without another word, I walked out the door.
It took me an hour of driving to stop shaking. And even when I did, I couldn’t seem to shut off my mind. It just kept whirring as I obsessed over what I was doing. I’d left my coven, the only people in the world who knew about the battle that was growing in the magical world. I’d left the remaining Cleri members to fend for themselves, in a cabin they barely knew, with no adults to take care of them.
But I had no choice.
The Parrishables had gone after our parents so that they couldn’t defend me. They’d hurt Jinx and Jasmine because they were at the mall with me. Anyone who was close to me was in danger of being hurt—maybe worse. No, too many people had already died because of me and I wouldn’t let anyone else join them. Even if it meant facing my enemies alone.
I knew that going home was dangerous. I wasn’t stupid. Even with my advanced powers, it was going to be a long shot that I’d be able to defeat them if they all came at me at once. But at least I could draw them away from the rest of the Cleri and give them a chance to make it out of this alive.
It also meant I wouldn’t be distracted worrying about them.
I could give 100 percent of my attention to destroying the Parrishables. I could train twenty-four hours a day if I wanted to. I’d up my combat training until I was the ultimate fighter and come up with a plan to go after them. With the element of surprise and my magical abilities, I might be able to overtake them. After all, hadn’t they already admitted that I was a force to be reckoned with? Even if I didn’t know why, it had to mean I had a chance of winning.
And right now, that was enough for me.
So I headed home, because I figured it was the last place anyone would think I’d go. I mean, who would be crazy enough to head back to the scene of the crime? Besides me, of course.
As I pulled up to the place I used to call home, I partly expected the lights to be on inside and my parents to be anxiously waiting for me to get home safely before they could go to bed. But instead, the whole place was dark. Though barely any time had passed since I’d left, the lawn somehow looked a little straggly to me and the whole place gave off an abandoned feel.