She nods her head and grabs onto my shoulders as we create a steady rhythm. Back and forth, in and out, each minute better than the last. Before long her nails dig into my arm as she shutters and cries out. Watching her come is the most erotic moment I’ve ever experienced. Whether it’s because it’s her, or because I need her so damn much; I’m positive I don’t want to be without her. It only takes me another few seconds before I lose control, pushing into her one last time.
Once we’re both completely sated and satisfied, I roll onto my back, taking her with me. I’m not ready to break our connection, so I hold her close to me, staying inside her for as long as she’ll let me.
Neither of us speaks a word as we float back down to earth. At first it’s peaceful bliss, but soon the silence becomes stifling. As tired as I am, she needs to tell me what brought her here in the first place. An hour ago she needed more time. I need to know what changed since then.
With her lying on top of me, I cover the two of us with the sheet so she doesn’t get cold. Running my fingers up and down her back, she nuzzles her cheek into my chest. Her hair smells like her flowery shampoo and it’s quickly become my favorite scent. “What’s going on, beautiful?”
She trembles, but answers, “I needed to see you. I tried to sleep after we talked, but I couldn’t.”
“I’m glad you came here.”
She smiles against my skin. “I bet you are.”
She jerks her hips and contracts around me causing me to groan from the sensation. I’m ready for another round, but we need to talk this out first. Focusing on the conversation instead of her body, I respond. “No, Sophie. It’s more than sex for me and you know it.”
She nods in understanding. “I know it is. I had a fight with your sister.”
“About what?” I’m not sure I want to know the details of their girlie drama, but if it was enough for her to run to me, then I want her to open up. Her body tenses and stiffens up before I realize she’s crying again. Her tears slowly splash onto my chest and slide down my arms. She’s been through so much shit the past few weeks, I desperately want to take away her pain—but I have no idea where to begin.
“I can’t tell you. I’m not crazy though. I swear.”
“Beautiful, I already know you’re not crazy. Please talk to me.” I wait for her to lead into conversation, but she’s still hesitant. Hugging her even tighter, she’s so fragile in my arms, but she’s the same Sophie I’ve fallen for over and over again.
“I can’t stop, Kipton. It started again at the diner, but then it was just like all those years. Over and over, I did it again and again. I let my family and my insecurities win again. Everything about it is wrong and I’ve worked so hard to move past it, but I fell right back into the same pattern. Now Cara hates me. She screamed at me, Kipton.”
“Stop what, Sophie? Why is Cara upset?”
My phone rings on top of my nightstand. I want to ignore it, but considering it’s Cara, I have no choice. Reluctantly, I ease out of Sophie as she clings to me. I hold her hand and as I’m about to place a kiss on her wrist I notice some dried blood. Before I let my mind wander to where it came from, I lean over and answer my phone. “She’s gone. I’ve looked everywhere for her; scoured every inch of the dorm before I noticed she took your car. We need to find her!”
“Cara, slow down. Sophie’s here. I have no idea what’s going on yet, but someone needs to fill me in. You’re both freaking me out.”
“Hang up! Please, Kipton.” Sophie’s hoarse voice begs me. I keep my arm around her so she can’t get away from me. She swats the phone out of my hand and I struggle back and forth with her to calm down.
“Relax. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out.” Her body relents and she hugs my pillow, still shaking. Cautiously, I pick my phone up off the bed. “Cara? You still there?”
“Yes! Don’t listen to her, Kipton. She needs help. I knew something was up with her. I fucking knew it.”
“Cara slow down. Take a breath and tell me what you mean.”
Beside me I hear Sophie softly crying. “Now you’ll hate me too,” she whispers.
I brush the hair away from her gorgeous eyes. “Sophie, I could never hate you.” It breaks my heart to see her like this. I try to rub her back for comfort, but she curls into an even smaller ball of brokenness.
“Kipton, listen to me. I didn’t want to get involved, but I don’t think I have a choice anymore. Not after tonight. She’s been making herself throw up. I found her earlier in the rec room bathroom after she went to dinner with Tyler. It was so damn bad I heard her from outside the bathroom. Of course that was blamed on bad food from the restaurant. Basically she doesn’t eat and when she does, she throws it up.” Cara takes a breath after talking a mile a minute. I’m about to speak, but she continues. “But there’s more to it than that because she did it at your house tonight too and she didn’t eat anything. It doesn’t make any sense, but Kipton she’s going to kill herself if she doesn’t stop.”
I remember back to the night I was supposed to meet with Drew and saw her getting sick. The night she kicked me out. “I’m hanging up, Cara.” I turn on my side, staring at the back of Sophie’s head as she cries. I’m afraid to touch her and I don’t ask any questions. Why would she do this to herself?
Sophie turns her head to look at me and is utterly devastated. Her gorgeous blue eyes are red rimmed, glassy and lacking their usual vibrant color. “Cara told you, didn’t she?”
“Yes, she told me. Why Sophie?” I’m having trouble comprehending why she would physically harm herself. And to learn she did it when she was with me at the diner—I had no idea. How could I be oblivious to the whole thing?
“Because it helps me cope. Everytime I do it, I’m erasing a part of me I can’t deal with.”
“What do you have to erase? What can’t you deal with?”
“My past. My life. Everything, Kipton. I’m so tired of being knocked down. I’m never good enough—not for my Dad or Blaine and now Coach Evans. Someone is always trying to change me—to make me something I’m not. And when they stop trying to change me, they just wish I didn’t exist at all.”
“I need you, Sophie. I want you. You have me and you have Cara.”
“I’ve tried to change. Years of therapy helped, but I don’t think I’ll ever escape the demons in my head. They’re too powerful and visit me even when I’m asleep.”
“How did this start?” I question.
“Years of emotional abuse from my Dad. And then both kinds from Blaine.” Her answer crumbles around a choked sob.
“Baby, no.” I shake my head in disbelief as rage fills me. “Who is Blaine?”
She nods her head letting me know it’s the painful truth. “Blaine’s my ex. He would beat the shit out of me and mind fucked me so many times I believed I deserved it,” she cries.
“Beautiful. You would never deserve that. I’ll fucking kill him, Sophie. I swear I’ll find him and beat his face in for what he did to you.”
“No. It won’t do any good. This is who I am, Kipton. That’s why I’ve tried so hard to push you away. Because it’s bad enough I live this life. I don’t ever want to drag anyone else down with me.”
Rage mixes with the most intense sadness I’ve ever felt. I knew it was bad, but it’s so much worse than I imagined. “It’ll get better. We can make this better—together.” Making promise after promise, I pray I can make them come true.
“There are no second chances for me, Kipton. Coming here was a chance at a fresh start—this is my second chance. And I’m fucking it up.”
“Then you’ll get a third because I’m not giving up on you, Sophie. Not now and not ever.”
She hangs her head. “After I hung up with you earlier, I felt so lonely. Eventually I fell asleep, but you didn’t visit me in my dreams like you have the past few nights. Instead, it was my Dad reminding me how worthless I was. I don’t want to listen to him anymore.” She sniffles and brushes tears from her cheeks. “I fought to wake up, but Blaine was behind him. He was just about to hit me like he has so many times—with the back of his hand across my cheek. It stings so bad, Kipton.” She clutches her face in her trembling hand.