“That last one was completely worthless, Sophie.”
It only takes one word linked in a sentence to set me off.
Worthless.
“You spend so much damn money on her shit, Victoria. And for what? So she can get a meaningless medal around her neck and feel like she’s somebody for ten minutes? That’s not how the real world works. They don’t give awards for not falling on your ass.”
“Dean, it’s not about medals. It’s the life lessons the sport offers. That’s what matters. It’s both a mental game and a physical.”
“Life lessons,” he barks out with a laugh. “Did gymnastics teach you how to be worthless because you’re damn good at that? Who knows, Vic, maybe she’ll follow in your footsteps.”
“Dean. That’s not what I mean and you know it. If you weren’t drunk ninety percent of the time you might be able to tell the difference.” But he’s always drinking.
He gets up in mom’s face and challenges her—his authority towering over her small frame. She takes a few steps back and the fear in her eyes is unmistakable. “You’re both worthless,” he grumbles before stalking out of the room and planting himself in front of the TV.
“Don’t let him see you cry, Sophie. Men never deserve our tears. We’re stronger than words—you remember that always.”
I nod my head. “I will, Momma.”
“You’ll never be worthless, Sophie. I may be too far gone to turn it around, but you’re bound to be a star.”
I’m not anything close to being a star today. In fact, I’m no closer than I was the day he spit those hateful words at us. Maybe he was right. Maybe this is all a worthless dream. With my confidence taking a beating, I struggle through the next two exercises. When I’m certain I can’t possibly do one more tumbling pass, we finally break for lunch. The other girls are running circles around me, making me stand out as the weakest link—a title I’ve never owned.
“Sophie, I need to see you in my office.”
“Sure, Coach.” I slip into my warm ups worrying he’s changed his mind about having me here. “Have a seat, Sophie.”
“Thank you.” He hands me a bottle of Gatorade and I can’t get the top off fast enough. Chugging the orange liquid, it’s so cold I feel its entire journey to my stomach. When I finish my long drink, he’s watching me intently. His look is one I have trouble describing—it’s not angry or impatient, both being valid reasons for calling me in the office in the first place. Instead, he seems relaxed like he’s getting a glimpse of me for the very first time. As afraid of him as I am, it’s his authority I fear most—the way he holds my destiny in his hands. One word out of his mouth and it can all end. Right here, right now.
“I’m going to lay it out there for you. From the moment I saw you at Regionals last year, I knew you had something special. You still do. You’ve got everything going for you—elegance, grace and beautiful lines. But your conditioning needs improvement. It would make you that much more explosive off the block. It’s all there, Sophie, but we have to fine tune your skill set to get the most out of you. I can get you there, but you have to work as hard outside of the gym as you do inside.”
“Understood. I’ll work harder on my cardio and weight training.” Hell, I’ll do anything he asks.
“I’m glad to hear that. Your body should be a tool, never a hindrance. We have some time to get you meet ready, but we’ll need every second.”
“Okay. I’ll try harder.”
“You’ll get there; I can already tell you have the drive in you. That’s one aspect of the sport I can’t teach. So we’ll focus on your conditioning and have you work with the team specialists. And please know you’re not the only one on the team who is struggling. Remember, temptation is everywhere on this campus, Sophie, but you have to want to win more. You’re only cheating yourself if you slack. I’ve seen the best of the best self-destruct so let me know if this environment is too much for you.”
I nod my head in agreement. “I want this and I won’t let you down. Thank you for this opportunity, Coach Evans. This is my dream.”
“It’s a pleasure, Sophie. You’re in a whole new world, now. What was once good enough at your old school won’t cut it here, okay? I brought you here to succeed because I saw it in your blood. You were born to do this.”
“Thank you. I’m honored you chose me.” It’s not over.
“Don’t let me down, Sophie. You’re dismissed.”
“I won’t.” My mind’s a jumbled blur as I leave his office. The muscles in my thighs are already tightening up from the short time I was sitting in his chair. But it doesn’t matter. He wants me here. He actually believes in me. I stretch for a few minutes soaking up the excitement of being a part of this team. I’m not in top form, I agree with him on that, but I can get there. I’ll show him how regimented I can be when I put my mind to it.
I won’t let my body fail me.
CARA’S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED I’m not going to the party tonight, but there’s no way I can risk it after the speech Coach gave me today. If I intend on stepping up my conditioning, the place for me is the gym, not a party.
As I’m finishing writing Cara a note, letting her know she can go ahead without me tonight, anxiety fills my body to the point the pen is shaking between my fingers. I hate letting people down, especially since we have to live together. I can’t picture Cara acting spiteful or angry because of my decision, but we hardly know each other yet. Anything’s possible. Then there’s Kipton to consider. But gymnastics is why I transferred to this school—it has to come first.
Just as I’m finishing signing my name to the note, the room phone rings. Without the caller ID I’m used to on my cell phone, I’m nervous about who could be on the other end of the line. “Hello.”
“Hey.”
A warmth rushes through my body from head to toe from the sound of Kipton’s voice. I’m racking my brain for something to say, but considering he called me, I’m at a loss. Instead of saying something flirty or settling for something interesting, I breathe into the receiver.
“You still there?” he questions.
“Yeah. I’m here.” Barely.
“What are you wearing?” he whispers.
His voice is low and deep with his words morphing the original warmth I was experiencing into fire. My arms are tingling and my heart dips like I’m flying down the first drop of a roller coaster ride. “Um, what?” I look down to assess my outfit. “I’m wearing my team warm ups.”
Playfully laughing, he says, “Relax, Sophie. I was kidding.”
“Oh. Okay. Um. Cara isn’t here. She’s still at the library,” I blurt out.
“My sister is in the library?” From his skeptical tone of voice, this must be a rare occurrence.
“That’s what her note says.”
“I’ll have to find out which guy she followed in there. She never makes it easy for me. Anyway, I called to talk to you. You’re still coming tonight, right?”
He called to talk to me? My mouth is suddenly so dry. I try to wet my lips with my tongue, but it’s no use. I panic about what to tell him. “Actually, no. I can’t make it. Something came up.”
“Sophie.” My name sounds so sexy when he says it.
“Yes?”