And, God help me, I was curious. On some level, I wanted to see how this played out. Despite the potentially catastrophic consequences. Despite the fact that no rational person would do it.
Fine. I wasn’t rational. It was time to accept that about myself. Sometime in the past year or two, I’d waded into darkness, and now I was swan-diving into the deep end. I was a sex-craved, sleep-deprived woman more interested in a kinky fuck than safety and comfort.
It was oddly freeing to admit that. Now that I’d stopped fighting myself, I could look back at the past few days and see what I’d been trying to ignore: I wanted this. I’d been lonely as hell my entire adult life. The men I met on dating apps or social media didn’t seem to mind when I flaked on them or forgot to text them back for weeks on end. They just moved on to someone else, like Tyler had.
My entire life was devoted to caring for others. I wanted someone to take care of me for once. I wanted someone to want me. No, need me. I wanted a man so obsessed that he hacked into cameras to watch me when he couldn't sleep. I wanted him to monitor my location data, order me a home security system so no one else could break into my house, and threaten to murder anyone who hurt me.
I didn’t want him morally grey. I wanted someone with a soul as black as night. Someone who would burn the world down for me and not lose a single minute of sleep over it.
The Faceless Man lowered his hands and beckoned me into the car.
I dragged in a fortifying breath of frigid air, got inside, and shut the door behind me, sealing my fate.
Chapter 8Josh
Aly was getting in the car. I watched her slide into the passenger seat beside me, gun aimed at my middle, eyes trained on my mask while she slowly pulled the seatbelt across her chest and buckled in.
She reached out and blindly closed the door behind herself, as unwilling to look away from me as I was her, if for a different reason. I let out the breath I knew damn well I’d been holding – I didn’t want to so much as breathe, let alone move in case I scared her off.
There was a woman with a mask kink within arm's distance of me. A woman who had recently masturbated to one of my videos, and I couldn’t get that one brief image out of my head of her thrusting her vibrator into herself.
Was that how she liked it? Raw and rough? A hint of pain to heighten her pleasure?
Fuck, I wanted her. Here. Now. It was so tempting to turn and pin her to her seat so I could –
She shoved the barrel of the gun into my side. “Drive. And lord help us if we get pulled over on the way. Between your horror movie getup and my weapons, we’d probably make headline news.”
Right. About that.
I grabbed my phone off the dash. I wished I could talk to her, but I’d have to do it again soon as Josh, and I couldn’t risk her recognizing my voice. The fancy modulator I ordered was getting delivered tomorrow, and then I could be done with this typing nonsense.
I’m going to take the back way there, I typed. I put the directions into my map, so you know I’m not lying.
I showed her the text instead of sending it.
She cocked her head sideways and eyed the edge of my mask like she was considering ripping it off. “Or you could just show me who you are and drive my car like a normal person. I already know we’ve met before, and it can’t be easy to see in that thing.”
My heart thudded inside my chest. Aly was at the top of her class when she graduated nursing school. Maybe I should be worried that she was smart enough to figure out who I was, but it only excited me. It felt like a game we played, with me constantly staying three steps ahead of her to avoid getting caught. The challenge was thrilling. And despite her concern, I could see just fine in my mask. The black material covering the wide eye sockets was made from a kind of high-tech nanofiber that was opaque from one side and transparent from the other. It was no different than looking out of a pair of glasses.
I can see fine. And do you really want to ruin the fantasy? I typed, showing her the phone and praying she wanted this as much as I did.
She blew out a shaky breath and looked away, the gun slipping an inch, and I took her silence as confirmation.
A glance at the gun showed me her finger was nowhere near the trigger. Not that anything would happen if she pulled it. I’d replaced her bullets with blanks. I was horny, not suicidal. And yes, I planned to switch them again. The thought of her unarmed in this city made me want to both rage and puke at the same time, which would probably be messy, so the real bullets were going back in as soon as we got to her house. I’d just have to find a way to be sneaky about it so she didn’t get mad at me again.
Her eyes were guarded when they came back to mine, but there was a hint of a flush in her cheeks that hadn’t been there before, driving the point home that Aly would rather have me masked and anonymous as well.
I buckled my seatbelt and put the car in reverse, using the rearview camera to guide me out of the parking space.
“You put my seat heater on for me,” she said.
I nodded. For whatever reason, empathy was starting to come easy for me with her. Watching her through the hospital cameras showed me a woman who would do anything to help others, even to the detriment of herself. I figured she must have been sore after being on her feet for so long, and even though the orthopedic shoes she wore looked comfortable, I was betting her legs and back still hurt.
She was probably hungry, too – I hadn’t seen her eat much in the past day and a half. Luckily, I had a solution for that. I put the car in drive but kept my foot on the brake.
Lifting my hands, I slowly rotated in my seat. The gun bumped over my abs as I turned her way, and her gaze drifted down like she felt it happen. I reached behind us and grabbed a small lunch bag from the rear seat.
“Woah, buddy,” she said, leaning away as I turned back around with it. “Is that a bomb or something?”
I almost forgot myself and swore. Why hadn’t I realized Aly might jump to a conclusion like that after the shift she’d had? It was a dumb mistake, and I wouldn’t make one like it again. I’d be better for her going forward. She deserved someone at the top of their game.
I shook my head and set the bag in my lap. Moving slowly so she wouldn’t freak out, I unzipped it and showed her the contents.
She frowned and leaned forward for a better look, glancing up at me afterward with one brow arched. “You brought me snacks?”
I nodded and put the bag on the center console for her.
She made no move to take it, her expression turning exasperated. “I’m not eating any of that. You could have drugged it.”
Fair point. I snagged the sandwich bag filled with apple slices. My gloves were thin enough that it was easy to lift one out. I tugged my mask away from my face just enough to get the slice inside it without revealing more than the edge of my jaw and slid the apple into my mouth.
I made a “See?” motion as I started to chew, but Aly was too busy staring at where my jaw was hidden again to pay much attention to my hands.
My mouth went dry. Did she feel it, too? This undeniable pull between us? I was trying to be a gentleman, had promised myself that tonight and this ride home was about reassuring her that she could trust me with her safety – after all, it was a big ask to get someone to agree to sex with a knife-wielding stranger – but if she kept looking at me like that, I didn’t know if I could keep myself in check for much longer.