“It was.”
“What were you going to say?”
“I was going to warn you about Brad. I pulled up his hospital records and had a bad feeling about him.”
“You were right to,” she said.
I stroked a hand down her back. “Oh, you have no idea.”
She tilted her head up enough to meet my eyes. “What do you mean?”
“His family has been covering up for him or paying off his victims since he was a teenager,” I told her.
“So, I was right. He’s a monster.”
It wasn’t a question, but I answered her anyway. “He is.”
Her gaze fell, darkening as she stared at the wall. “I wanted to kill him.”
I went completely still beneath her. “What did he say to you?”
“A bunch of bullshit about how his victim had wanted it and was only lying to get money out of him,” she said. “But it was more than that. Everything about him made my hackles rise. After he tried to grab me, I taunted him, hoping he’d try again or throw a punch so I’d have an excuse to unload on him.” Her voice dropped. “I’m glad he didn’t because I don’t think I would have stopped. I felt out of my mind. I know that doesn't sound good, but I don’t know how else to describe it. I felt completely unhinged, like I would have done anything in that moment.”
I hugged her close, careful not to squeeze too hard because there was so much adrenaline pumping through my veins that I felt like I was in that ER bay with her, more than ready to go to jail for killing a man.
“I know I sound like a broken record, but I’m sorry,” I said. “And if it makes you feel better, I felt the same way, and I didn’t even hear what that bastard said to you. The look on his face was enough to push me to the brink. It took all my willpower to keep from barging in there. If I’d known he was taunting you –” I turned my head away so she wouldn’t see the battle playing out in my mind.
No, I didn’t want to be like my father, and no, I didn’t think I was in danger of turning out like him anymore, but sometimes, I still worried there was a risk of being overtaken by urges that led to me falling down a dark rabbit hole and becoming a monster-adjacent person. Like Dexter or Joe. Someone who did terrible things but found a way to justify them to themselves.
Aly lifted off my chest enough to frame my chin with her hand and turn me back toward her. “I wish you’d barged in.” Her eyes roamed over me, taking in my black fitted tee and the way my dick strained against my jeans, even as we discussed violence. I was worried she’d be repulsed by my arousal, but instead, her lips curled in a wicked grin. “Watching you beat the shit out of him would have been the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“There’s still time to make that happen,” I told her, only half joking.
She sat up in my lap, and I nearly groaned at the way her robe gaped open. As I watched, she reached down and tugged the end of the fuzzy sash barely holding the garment on. She glanced down and kept pulling, torturously slow, biting her lower lip in a way that had my dick straining against my fly.
“Aly,” I said, a hint of warning in my tone. This wasn’t what I came here for. She’d had a terrible night. We should discuss it more and dig deeper into her compulsion to put everyone else above herself.
Her eyes rose to mine, and without breaking my gaze, she tugged the sash free, letting the robe fall open. My mouth watered at the sight of her perfectly rounded tits, the globes just big enough to fill my palms, her nipples a dusky pink several shades darker than her skin, already peaked with desire. She lifted my hands and placed them on her breasts, and it was only with monumental effort that I stopped myself from rolling my thumbs over her nipples.
“We should talk more about what happened tonight,” I said.
She blew out a breath. “I don’t want to talk anymore. I’ve been thinking about it for hours, and I just want to turn my brain off for a while.” She leaned forward, rubbing her tits into my hands. “I want to be bad,” she said. “I want you to make me forget about Brad and all the awful shit I’ve seen. I want you to use my body like your plaything.”
Unable to hold out any longer, I dragged my thumbs across her nipples.
She shivered and ground her hips down, rolling her bare sex over me. “I want to be dark.”
I jerked my eyes up from her tits and found her watching me with an intensity that had my balls tightening. “How dark?”
“Darker than the other night. I know you held yourself back.” She reached a hand between us and palmed my dick through my pants. “Don’t.”
I groaned. “Aly, fuck. Do you know what you’re asking for?”
Christ, did I even know? I’d come here wanting to comfort her, but she’d just set that plan on fire with her declaration. There was so much terrible shit in my head that I couldn’t figure out where the line should be, how far I should drag her into the darkness with me.
“I know I want you,” she said. “And I know I trust you enough to put myself at your mercy.”
I panted as she squeezed me through my jeans, remembering how good her mouth felt wrapped around my cock, the way her tits bounced as I fucked into them. So far, most of what happened between us had been about me and my desires. Here she was, brave enough to trust me with her pleasure, brave enough to tell me what she wanted. The least I could do was deliver.
Calm descended like a second skin. Gone was my desire to tease her. Gone was the man she thought was cute and funny and safe, who hid from the world for fear of recognition. What was left behind was the part of me that stripped off clothes and covered himself in blood so I could horrify and titillate millions of strangers on the internet. This side was all ego. I wanted Aly on her knees for me, humbled and worshipping. I wanted to watch her crawl to me, naked, before kissing my boots and licking the flat of my knife.
She dragged in a breath as the change came over me, watching my eyes as the humanity bled from them and my need for her took hold. Her pupils widened with a mixture of anticipation, lust, and a small hint of fear. Good. She should be afraid. I felt like destroying something.
I wrapped my hands around her thighs and stood. “No safe words.”
She clung to me, sounding breathless when she responded. “No safe words.”
I strode into her room and threw her on the bed. She let out a strangled yelp of surprise as she bounced across the mattress. I left her to grab my bag and ensure Fred was still minding his business in his felt house and hadn’t snuck into her room while we’d been distracted. What I was about to do to his mother, no child should see.
I yanked the knife out as I strode back into the room, throwing my bag to the side and pulling the blade free as I kicked the door shut. We were dropped almost entirely into darkness, but Aly must have sensed the danger in the room with her because she scrambled away as I stalked toward her, fear edging out lust.
I raised the blade high.
She threw herself to the far side of the bed. “What are you –”
I stabbed the knife down.
Straight into the corner of her mattress.
She clapped her hands over her mouth to muffle her horrified scream.
I crooked a finger at her, beckoning her forward.
“Come here, Aly,” I said, wrapping my other hand around the knife handle so there would be no mistaking my intent. “I want to watch you ride it.”
Chapter 15Aly
My heart beat against my ribs like it was trying to break free from my chest. Holy shit, for a second there, I thought Josh was going to kill me. I needed to remember that this man took me at my word. Online, I’d begged him to break in, and he had. Now I asked for dark, and he was delivering. I should have known it would come at a cost.