"You're probably right, Captain," said the Lilliput lieutenant. "Getting off this island would have been smartest thing for us to do. Unfortunately, my men and I had no means of getting off this island, so if an invasion force is coming in hard on your heels, we're simply going to have to fight. Unless, of course, your people are planning to wipe out this entire island with a warp grenade, in which case I guess we're shit out of luck. And so are you."
"Wait a minute," Finn said. "If you have no way of getting off this island, then how the hell did you get to the 27th century to make that assault on HQ?" Delaney said.
"That wasn't us," the Lilliput lieutenant said.
"Oh, yeah, I guess it was some other bunch of Lilliputian’s,"
Finn said, sarcastically.
One of the other Lilliputians quickly raised his rifle and aimed at Finn's other ear, but the lieutenant raised his hand, holding him off. "That wasn't us, “ he repeated.
"We're stuck here. Or at least we were til you showed up with your floater pak and warp disc."
"No offence, but I don't think they'd fit you. “
"No, but they fit you and we could easily fit inside your clothing. All we have to do is kill you, program your disc, get inside your pockets and your shirt, down inside your' sleeves and trouser legs, hit the button and we're out of here."
Delaney licked his lips nervously. "Yeah, I guess that ought to work. So what's stopping you?"
"Unfortunately, none of us knows how to program a warp disc," said the Lilliputian.
"I see, “ Delaney said. "So that's why I'm still alive."
"As one soldier to another, Captain, I'm sure you can appreciate that my first responsibility is the safety of my men," the tiny commando said. "If killing you would ensure their welfare, I wouldn't hesitate to do it. However, I hope that won't be necessary."
"Yeah, I hope so, too," said Finn.
"Then perhaps we can reach an understanding," the Lilliputian said. "If you transport us off this island, somewhere safe, we'll let you go and you'll never see or hear from us again. Otherwise, we'll have no choice but to kill you and use your body to transport us, taking a chance on trying to program your warp disc without really knowing what we're doing."
"That could land you in one hell of a lot of trouble," Finn said.
"We're already in a hell of a lot of trouble," the lieutenant said. "We've been abandoned here. We're too small to build and sail a seaworthy boat or even a raft.
Stuck here on this island, we're sitting ducks. There's no place we can run. We'll just have to take our chances."
"If I agreed to help you, how do you know I wouldn't turn on you the moment you set me free?" said Finn.
"Before-we cut your ropes, most of us would get inside your clothing, along with our weapons, of course. That would make things very uncomfortable for you if you tried to cross us."
"Yes, I'm sure it would," said Finn, visualising dozens of tiny lasers going off inside his clothes. He shuddered and the Lilliputians swayed to keep their balance on his chest.
"I see I've made my point," the lieutenant said.
"Yes. indeed you have," said Finn. "But what guarantee do you have that I wouldn't come after you with reinforcements? After all, if I transported you somewhere, then I'd know where you were, wouldn't I?"
"'True, but that wouldn't help you find us. On a deserted island like this, we're vulnerable. But in a crowded city, with lots of nooks and crannies for us to hide in, you could search for years and never find us."
"Makes sense," Delaney said. "Only what guarantee do I have that you'll let me live once I've taken you wherever you want to go?"
"None," said the Lilliputian. "You've only got two options. Refuse to help us and we'll kill you, take our chances trying to work your disc ourselves and use your body as an escape vehicle. Or co-operate and we might let you go. It's up to you."
"That doesn't leave me much choice, does it?" said Delaney.
"We weren't given much choice ourselves," said the Lilliputian.
"All right, you win," Delaney said, stalling for time. "Cut me loose."
"Not just yet," the Lilliputian said. He raised two fingers to his mouth and gave two shrill, piercingly high-pitched whistles.
There was a bustle of activity on either side of Finn and the next thing he knew, little wooden rung ladders crudely lashed together from twigs were put up against his sides and a score of grubby little miniature jungle commandos with tiny rifles slung across their shoulders started to climb the ladders up to his chest. They swarmed across him and crawled into his
trouser pockets and down inside his shirt. They fastened ropes to his belt and lowered themselves down inside his trouser legs. Finn struggled hard to suppress his instinct to shudder. It felt like rats going down his clothes.
"All right," said the little lieutenant after his men had "boarded" Finn. "We're going to cut you loose now. But I'm warning you… don't make any sudden movements.
In fact, don't move at all unless I tell you, otherwise my men will open fire. "
Finn felt as if his skin were crawling. He suppressed. another shudder, swallowed hard and nodded. "Right, you got it."
The Lilliputian nodded to the two men who stood on either side of him on Finn's chest and they brought up their rifles and fired, using the beams to slice the little ropes holding Finn down. Delaney could see that the laser rifles they were using were, in fact roughly modified surgical scalpels. He didn't even want to think about what they could do if the Lilliputians down inside his clothes cut loose.
After a few moments, they were done and Finn lay motion-less as they climbed into his breast pockets. Then their leader moved up across his neck and climbed down inside his collar, at the shoulder. He un-holstered his pistol and held it up against Finn's ear.
"All right, very slowly now sit up."
Finn did as he was told.
The Lilliputian commander straddled his shoulder with his legs down inside his shirt, hanging onto his collar with one hand and holding the pistol ready with the other.
"Okay, so far so good. Now very slowly, Stand up." Finn stood awkwardly.
"Tell those little bastards to stop squirming around," he said.
"They'll stop. They're just as nervous as you are, believe me. Remember, you don't want o make them too nervous, right?"
"Right," said Finn, gulping as he felt a tiny gun barrel poke his groin. "Okay, you're calling the shots. Where do you want to go?'
"Program your disc for New York City, the month of September, 19-"
"Finn!"
"Lucas!"
Lucas Priest had suddenly appeared standing across the clearing from him.
"Who the hell is that?" the Lilliputian leader said in
Delaney's ear.
"Friend of mine," Delaney said, under his breath.
"Tell him to stay where he is!"
"Finn, for God's sake, where the hell have you-"
"Stay where you are!" Delaney shouted as Lucas started to come toward him.
"What.." Lucas stopped where he was. "Finn, what is it?"
"Just don't move!"
Lucas frowned. "All right, I won't move." He shut his eyes and fought back a wave of vertigo. "Finn, what's the matter?"
"I've got Lilliputians down my pants."
"'You've got what?"
"Lilliputians," said Delaney. "They're all over me. In my pockets. Inside my clothes. And they've got lasers."
Lucas looked closer and saw that Delaney's clothes did, indeed, look a little lumpy.
And some of the lumps seemed to be moving. He couldn't help himself. He started chuckling.
"'What the hells so goddamned funny?" said Delaney. Lucas burst out laughing.
"Stop that!" shouted Delaney.
"Don't shout!" said the Lilliputian. "'You want to burst my eardrums?"
Lucas found it impossible to keep a straight face.