Jonas had to fight for breath. He had no idea pleasure could tear the world out of his grip, that a release could do more than simply bond him to this woman.
For the first time in his life, he felt a freedom so complete, so vast, that he knew his life was changed forever.
He'd fought giving all of himself to her, and in that moment, he realized he had never had a chance against her.
She was sobbing against his shoulder, the pleasure was so intense. She was whispering his name, begging, shudders still racing up her spine as he felt them digging sharpened talons into his balls.
It seemed never-ending. It seemed as though he had shot straight into the soul of the woman gripping him with a fierce hold, refusing to release him. And he didn't want her to release him. He wanted her to hold him inside her forever.
And she would.
This pleasure would ease, their bodies would separate, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would never be free of her or the effect of this night.
Wrapping his arms around her, he buried his face in her hair and fought just to breathe as he felt the sensations gently easing.
Rationality was returning as the barb slowly receded. His cock softened, but only marginally. Held inside her, the thick width still stretched her. He could still feel the delicate little tremors that attacked the vulnerable tissue every few seconds.
She was relishing this final, unhurried descent, and he wasn't about to disturb her, because he was damned if he wasn't loving the hell out of it as well.
It was like being locked in a well of peace. In all his life Jonas had never known true peace. Not until this moment, not until the pleasure had been agony, forcing him to spill his very soul into the woman who had demanded it.
"I love you." The words rose unbidden to his lips as he whispered them against her ear. "In all my life, Rachel, I have never truly loved until you."
He had sacrificed. He had been responsible. He had led, he had manipulated and he had been driven. But he had never loved a single entity, not truly, not as he should.
He loved his sister, but not enough to open himself to give her the security she had needed, and he was only now realizing that. No wonder Harmony had refused to allow him around his nephew in the months since he had been born. It was no wonder others watched him with fear and loathing.
They sensed it. They had known it. Jonas had been the ultimate master manipulator, and he had manipulated himself right out of the lives of those he had needed most.
His sister.
His brothers.
His father.
His mother.
Those who stood by him despite his failings. Those who watched him with both longing and distrust. Even Rachel. Until this moment, he realized a part of himself had still been manipulating, searching for an angle to use, a way to control.
He would never control this woman.
"I love you so much. I know I would die without you."
He heard the words, so soft, so weary, whispered against his chest as his mate collapsed against him. Still buried within her, her gentle weight a warmth he never wanted to lose, her words sinking into his soul to hold him a willing captive for eternity.
Emotion nearly overwhelmed him. It clenched his heart, tightened his chest. It rolled through him like a wave of heat, brighter, hotter, than the lust that had fueled them moments before.
No. It wasn't lust. It was pure hunger. A white-hot need to share, and to give himself to the one person, the one woman who been given to him to save him.
He had been on a path of personal self-destruction, a complete isolation from those around him. Rachel and her child had brought him back. Then Rachel had bound his soul to hers with chains forged of unbreakable strength.
Easing from her body, he almost grimaced as her snug pussy tried to tighten on the still-engorged flesh filling it. The stroke of silken flesh across it was a pleasure he was loath to lose.
His mate was exhausted though.
She lay where he placed her, her eyes closed, the strap of her bra hanging from one shoulder. He must have torn her panties again and hadn't realized it, because only a shred of them was lying on her thighs. Her stockings were ruined. She was missing a shoe.
Jonas grinned. She was a wildcat that had turned into an exhausted little kitten.
Carefully, he eased from the bed before striding to the bathroom and collecting a damp cloth and dry towel. Returning to the bed, he undressed her gently, tossing the last remaining articles of clothing to the floor before cleaning her with a tenderness he hadn't known he was capable of.
He had always been gentle with Rachel, but now, he stroked her, petted her, cleaned the perspiration and sensual excess from her body before returning to the bathroom and cleaning himself.
When he collapsed into the bed beside her and drew her against his chest, he couldn't stop the purr. He had managed to hold it at bay until now. It rumbled against his chest beneath her cheek, the pure contentment that welled inside him taking voice despite his attempts to hold it back.
A small hum of satisfaction left her lips as he felt her lay a gentle kiss against his flesh. A second later, his wild little mate slipped peacefully into sleep.
Tangled red hair flowed over his chest as he buried his fingers in it. Silken limbs twined with his, holding him to her even as he wrapped his arms around her and held her just as tight.
And for the first time in his entire life, Jonas truly and deeply slept. For the first time, contentment filled him, warmth shattered the ice in his soul, and Jonas became more than a Breed.
He was a mate.
CHAPTER 20
Dawn was peeking over the horizon and found Jonas standing by the large living room window that looked out over the estate house. It was his early morning ritual. Amber was fed, diapered, wrapped in an incredibly soft blanket and staring out over Sanctuary along with Jonas.
He purred. It was a rumble he found he enjoyed. This was a sound of comfort and security, whereas the purr that vibrated in his chest for the baby's mother was stronger, tinged with passion and spiced with heat.
Here, in these moments with Amber, there was no mating heat. This had been the only peace he had found until he had completed the mating with Rachel. As though the child triggered something inside him that eased the heat and instead flooded him with gentleness and the need to protect.
How his life had changed with the appearance of Rachel and their baby. His entire existence had shifted, gone off balance and righted itself in a way he had never expected.
The fingers of sunlight caressed the third story, glistening across the windows and the widow's walk along the roof. He could barely make out the slightest differences between the roof itself and the four Breeds stationed there. He was going to have to have a talk with Callan and Kane about the guards. They had to be completely invisible, even to Breed eyes.
Perhaps it was time he discussed training a new team with Jag, the commander of Ghost Team. Sanctuary could use a few teams with the talents Jag and his Breeds possessed. Jonas knew they were out there; the four men were spreading themselves between the main house and Jonas's cabin.
Or perhaps it was simply time he began using the abilities he was trained for, rather than playing with the ones he had taken as a hobby.
The Bureau wasn't his passion, it was his game. He amused himself with manipulating the politicians, the bigwigs and financial movers and shakers who could be convinced to contribute so heavily to the Breed community.
It was the reason Jonas had slid into the position. It had been easily done. There had been no challenge. And the amusement value was rapidly wearing thin.