Выбрать главу

He had bent closer and was looking at me earnestly.

I said: “I have loved. I shall never love again.”

“So you are not the virgin I promised myself.”

“You sicken me. You know naught of love; you know only of lust. I have lain with no man, but I have loved and planned to marry, but it was not to be. My father and his mother had sinned together. And he was my brother.”

He studied me with narrowed eyes. Why had I attempted to talk to him of Carey? It had weakened me in some way, made me vulnerable. He had no pity for me; if he loved me, I thought, he would be tender now, he would be gentle with me. But he had no tender feelings for me; his need for me was nothing but desire, a determination to subdue.

He said: “I know much concerning you. It was necessary for me to discover what I could of my wife. Your father was a charlatan.”

“He was not that.”

“He was found in the crib at Bruno’s Abbey. The whole of England knew of it. It was said to be a miracle and then it was found that there was no miracle; he was the son of a wayward monk and a serving wench. Should I marry a charlatan’s daughter, the granddaughter of a serving girl?”

“Indeed you should not,” I retorted. “Such a refined cultured gentleman cannot be allowed to do such a thing.”

“But,” he went on, “this charlatan became a rich man; he was possessed of Abbey lands; your mother was of excellent family, so in the circumstances perhaps I might be lenient.”

“You surely would not wish a woman of such ancestors to become the mother of your sons?”

“Well, to confess, she hath a way with her which pleases me, and since I have gone so far as to become betrothed to her I’ll take her to my bed and if she pleases me I’ll keep her there.”

“She will never please you. Escape while there is time.”

“I have gone too far in this.”

“She would release you, I am certain.”

“The truth is that I am never going to release her and in a short time she will be mine so utterly that she will beg me never to leave her.”

“A pretty fiction,” I said. “I know it to be far from the truth.”

“Come with me now. Let us slip away. Let me show you what love is like.”

“You are the last from whom I could learn that. I shall stay in this company until we leave. And it must almost be time that we did so.”

“Tonight we will be together.”

“Tonight? How could that be?”

“Easily. I will arrange it.”

“Here?”

“I will ride back with you and you will open your window and I will climb through to you.”

“In my sister’s house!”

“Your sister is a woman. She will understand. But she need not know.”

“You still do not understand that I am not as eager for you as you appear to be for me. You know full well that I despise you.”

“Is that why your eyes sparkle at the sight of me?”

I stood up and went back to my seat at the table. He must perforce follow me.

Morris dancers had arrived. They had been engaged to entertain us and so they came into the hall in their Moorish costumes with bells attached to them and their capers were greatly applauded. They did a piece in which Robin Hood and Maid Marian figured and this was greatly appreciated. There was more singing and dancing, but at last the banquet and ball were over.

I rode back with Edward and Honey in their carriage, but Jake Pennlyon insisted on coming with us. He rode beside our carriage as he said he was not trusting his bride to the rough roads and any vagabond who might attempt to rob us.

I whispered to Honey: “He will try to come to my room. He has said as much.”

She whispered back: “When we get back to the house I will feign sickness and ask you to look after me.”

At Trewynd when we alighted from the carriage Honey put her hand to her head and groaned.

“I feel so ill,” she said. “Will you take me to my bed, Catharine?”

I said indeed I would and gave Jake Pennlyon a curt good-night. He kissed me on the lips—one of those kisses which I was beginning to hate and tried hard to avoid. I turned away and went with Honey to her room.

“He’ll go away now,” she said. But she did not know Jake Pennlyon.

I crept cautiously to my room. I did not open the door. I put my ear to the keyhole. I could hear the window squeaking slightly as it swung open. True to his threat, Jake Pennlyon had climbed the wall and come through it. I knew that if I went into that room I would find him there.

I pictured his leaping from behind and locking my door. I should be at his mercy and this time there would be no escape.

I turned and tiptoed back to Honey’s room and told her what I suspected.

“Stay with me tonight,” she said. “Edward will sleep in his own room. Catharine, tomorrow you must return to your mother. This man is dangerous.”

What a night that was. I could not sleep at all. I kept thinking of Jake Pennlyon in my room, ready to spring on me. I could hear his cry of exultation when he caught me as I entered the room; I could hear the key turn in the lock, I could feel his great powerful body crushing mine. It was so vivid in my imagination that I seemed to live it.

It was not until dawn that I slept and then I was late waking.

Honey came into the room. “If he was here he has gone now,” she said. “His horse is not in the stables.”

I went cautiously to my room. The sun was streaming in; it showed my bed—empty but tousled. He must have slept there.

Fury possessed me. He had dared sleep in my bed. I pictured him there, waiting for the bride who did not come.

When I stood gazing at my disturbed bed, I was overcome with a sense of powerlessness. I felt like a hunted animal with the baying of the dogs coming nearer, knowing that the relentless huntsman was bearing down on me.

So far I had escaped. I kept thinking how easily I could have stepped into that room last night to find myself trapped.

He was the sort of man who so far had always won. I knew that. But he should not do so this time. I knew that I must slip away and return to my home. But would that deter him? He must sail in six weeks’ time, but I might well be carrying his seed at that time. I felt that if I allowed him to subdue me I should despise myself forever; and in a way so would he. It must not happen. I must go on fighting.

I couldn’t remain in the house. I guessed he would shortly be riding over. I must make sure not to be alone with him.

I went down to the stables. Honey had seen me and followed me there.

Her brow was furrowed. “You are going riding … alone?” she asked.

“I have to do something quickly.”

“We should never have let it get to this.”

“He was in my room last night. He must have waited there for me to come back. He slept in my bed.”

“What … impudence!”

“Honey, what am I going to do?”

“Wait there,” she said. “I’ll ride with you. Then you won’t be alone. We’ll talk about it.”

I went back to the house with her while she put on her riding habit and we took our horses and rode out … in the opposite direction of Lyon Court.

I said: “I must go home.”

“I am sure you are right.”

“I’ll have to slip away secretly. Perhaps in a day or so.”

“I shall miss you sorely. Jake Pennlyon is determined, but at least he will marry you.”

I laughed. “Can you imagine marriage with such a man? He would try to reduce one to a slave.”

“I don’t think you are the stuff that slaves are made of.”

“Sometimes I feel I’d like to make him understand that.”

She looked at me oddly.

“Are you a little attracted by him, Catharine?” she asked.

“I loathe him so much that I get satisfaction in thwarting him.”