Выбрать главу

Jim stroked Ringer from shoulders to brisket, collecting dog hair as he went. He twisted it into a ball so that it would not litter his room, adding it to the offensive mass discovered under the bed. Later that evening Jim pushed the clump up into the muffler of Dad’s car. The next time his father drove the car long enough for the metal to heat, the dog’s hair would smoke. No harm to the car, no evidence of Jim’s payback—save the stench of burning hair, brief enough to be inexplicable, strong enough to make his father gag.

At bedtime, Ringer curled at the foot of Jim’s bed. Mornings, Jim woke to find Ringer’s muzzle perched inches from his face. Did she stand sentry all night? How else would Jim awaken every morning to the sight of two soft, brown eyes?

One morning, he awoke slowly, wrapped in the helpless pleasure of sleep’s immobility. He imagined that he was an Indian papoose, swaddled and strapped to a cradleboard. Safe. Ringer was still at the foot of the bed. Jim’s breathing changed as he emerged into wakefulness. Ringer stood, stretched, front legs down and hindquarters up, her back bowed. She took her customary post, snout resting lightly on Jim’s bed.

She hears my breathing change. She hears me wake up. That’s how she does it. What else does she notice? he wondered. I’ll watch her and learn.

He learned to react with Ringer. She alerted him to the subtle signals of Dad’s anger, like the tightening of his neck muscles. When Dad was in a mood, Ringer’s ears snapped erect. Then Jim saw his father’s skin flush with anger as clearly as a lighthouse beacon. He saw the flare of nostrils, the widening of his pupils, the shift in balance. Dad had a tell, like a poker player staring too long at a hole card. If Dad rubbed the back of his neck when he was angry, then he was about to lose his temper.

Ringer reacted to Mom, too. Why? Mom never yelled or hit. She might scold Dad—mostly about money—but she never lost her temper. But Ringer’s ears pitched forward anyway and now Jim noticed the tension in her smile.

Sometimes she provoked Dad. Her words weren’t so bad and she never used swears. But Ringer reacted and Jim listened. He heard acid-laced tones, derision in Mom’s voice. When she combined a certain intonation with a particular cant to her body, Dad would react, hands flying. It was as if he had a mad switch and she closed the circuit. Then Dad struck.

Jim learned to move like his dog. Ringer’s head was like an arm whipping this way or that to deliver a canine mouth at play or prey. Jim’s arms learned to deliver his hands as well. Ringer’s mouth was both delicate and powerful. He could carry a baby bird, fallen from its nest, or grind a marrow bone to a sliver. Jim’s hands learned tenderness and anger. The boy who had discovered every plane, curve, and hollow of Ringer’s form began to learn the strengths of his own form and the weak spots of others.

Now Jim could dodge Dad’s slaps and blows. But a slight, thirteen-year-old boy is no match for an adult. Jim was fast, but he would tire, and Dad never got smaller. The odds favored size, and the day before Easter vacation, Jim’s luck ran out. He was cornered in his room.

“Where you gonna go now, little man?”

Jim checked Dad’s hands. They were open and empty. Ringer was not in the room. He faced Dad alone.

“I asked you a question. Where you gonna go now?” Dad lunged and Jim ducked under his father’s arms.

“Have it your way. But remember this is my damned house.” Dad’s mouth curled into a smile and then left the room. Later, Jim would remember that the smile never reached his eyes.

Jim whistled for Ringer and they slipped into the Pasadena evening. When they returned, Jim opened his bedroom door to a near-empty space. His books were gone. His reading lamp was gone. There was a cot in place of his own bed. Even Ringer’s bed was gone. His father stood in the doorway.

“You think you’re smart. Well, remember that this is my house and I pay for everything.”

Jim’s last thought before the tears fell was, Well, I guess I can go to the library. He felt helpless, powerless, diminished by his father’s insult, “Little Man.” Something’s got to give, he thought, or I’m going to go crazy.

When he regained his composure he walked into the kitchen, opened a drawer, and removed a box of toothpicks. He placed two of the wooden slivers in his breast pocket and slipped into the night, blind to the world around him, operating on habit alone.

Had Jim looked up, he could have traced the forms of the constellations. It was early evening and he might have looked for Libra. But eyes were cloaked in anger and his vision fixed into a narrow spot on the sidewalk just in front of him. On another evening, he would have delighted in the scents of Southern California’s abundant flora, but tonight, even the night-blooming jasmine smelled cloying. He heard neither the whisper of the evening breeze, nor any sound except blood pounding in his ears.

Dad’s workplace was two miles away, thirty minutes at a schoolboy’s angry pace. He approached the front door of the storefront office and removed one of the toothpicks, broke it in half, and inserted a piece into the tumbler mechanism of the door’s lock. He used the other toothpick to push the broken piece in as far as possible. Tomorrow Dad would be locked out of his office and the entire lock would have to be removed and replaced.

A security camera recorded every move.

The next day, the last school day before Easter vacation, a pulse still twitched in Jim’s neck. He ignored greetings from teachers and students. He ignored the bells that signaled the change in classes, navigating by rote. He ignored his lunch and moved to his afternoon classes with all the focus of a man in a coma.

The trance broke during math class. The teacher was administering a quiz. Jim sat unmoving.

“Mr. Ecco, would you like to join the rest of us in the exercise?” She smiled.

Jim did not reply.

“Mr. Ecco? Jim? Are you all right?” Her voice was bright, but with a note of concern.

The teacher walked down the aisle to Jim’s desk. When she reached out to touch the boy’s shoulder, he saw his father’s hand. He heard his father’s voice. Jim’s arm flew up and knocked aside the teacher’s hand. In the same motion, Jim stood, too quickly, and his desk tumbled over. The edge scraped down the woman’s shin. It was painful but not damaging. Still, it would cost Jim the rest of the school year.

Jim looked at his teacher. “I’m sorry,” he said, and left the classroom. He walked home, into his bare room, ignored the cot and lay down on the floor with Ringer, unmoving, until the police arrived.

On the following Tuesday, school principal Danny Sorenson sat in a tan club chair that was browned from use, the man’s form outlined in darkened leather. Sorenson was in that indeterminate middle age when his belly had begun a winning battle with his hair for prominence. He wore a red bow tie, a white shirt, and a forest-green cardigan sweater vest and rumpled khaki pants.

Jim sat on a matching sofa, opposite the administrator. He’d been there before. Sorenson had asked about Jim’s home life, had reached out to Jim and tried to find some activity that would help Jim channel his frustrations. “You’re a smart kid,” Sorenson said. “Your aptitude tests say you’ve got a lot of potential.”

But today the conversation would be about survival, not potential.

“Jim, you’re in a pickle,” Sorenson said, not unkindly.

“I’m sorry,” said Jim.

“The incident with Ms. Rice was reported. She says that it was an accident that the desk struck her leg, but when you hit her arm, technically, you assaulted her. Can you tell me why you did that?”