VI.
Karla escalated things. Her head tilted towards me slightly, and in the dim light filtering through the heavy curtains, I could see her eyes were now open, and I could swear a faint smile touched her lips. Her head settled back to the pillow with a sigh, and then her right hand released my wrist. I held my breath as she reached down, thinking for a second it was a reflex action and scared what might happen next. Then her hand settled on my hip, her fingers spreading across my bare skin. She should have contacted my clothing, but instead she was touching me, and in a place where no eleven year old girl should touch a grown man, clothed or otherwise. I was almost certain it was deliberate, and was trying hard to decide, when she confirmed it. With the slightest amount of pressure, she encouraged movement in my hips, and I quickly realized she wanted me to resume the slight movement of my cock between her thighs.
To say I was incredulous would be a gross understatement. Not only was this young girl aware of my deviant behavior, she was actively encouraging it. It would only be upon reflection much later that I would realize she knew what she was doing from the very beginning. I'm not trying to say that Karla seduced me, that it was all her idea and not my fault. That would be unfair. She probably didn't exactly know where things would lead, but when I looked back I knew she had rubbed against me, and pulled my hand against her breast, on purpose. That I acted on it was my fault, and my fault alone, and all my weeks and months of recriminations that followed were well earned by my actions and lack of good moral judgment. My hip movements became more pronounced, and the feel of my cock slipping between Karla's silky smooth and firm thighs was simply intoxicating. My hand on her breast became bolder as I no longer tried to conceal my behavior, and I moved from breast to breast with total abandon. They were so small, but so delightful.
Pressing my face into her hair, I began to nibble at the edge of her ear, earning a small sigh for my trouble.
Through it all, Karla said not a word. However, as she guided my hip with her hand, pressed her ass against me, clamped down with her thighs, and arched her breasts forward to meet my touch, the communication was clear. We were both enjoying what was happening.
I knew what I wanted to do next, and it only took me a moment to make up my mind. Yet still I hesitated, until I forced myself to act lest I chicken out. Reluctantly leaving Karla's breasts, I slid my hand down in search of the hem of her T-shirt. When my hand slipped under and touched Karla's belly, we both froze. For me, it was a watershed event, a contact with Karla I could scarcely imagine.
I had touched Karla's stomach before, either wrestling around, or perhaps helping her work through a drill on the field, but this was sexual contact. I froze to savor the moment, and to gather my courage. When Karla stiffened against me, I had no way of knowing what she was thinking. So I held my position and waited for her reaction, aware that if she stopped me here, it would be wise and unsurprising. However, she made no move stop me, and in the stillness I could hear her breathing, and it had an excited edge to it. Knowing that I had to press on before I lost my nerve, I started to slide my hand upward ever so slowly. Karla was as physically fit as any person I knew, and as my hand encountered slight ripples in her hard stomach I knew it was the outline of muscles that I could only envy. My movements were slow, partly to savor the experience, and partly to give Karla a chance to stop me. I was powerless to stop myself, and a part of me hoped that Karla, the child, would make a mature and wise decision that this had gone far enough. It was the only hope I had, the only possibility to keep me from doing something so wrong, so against my belief system. I needed Karla to save me, and I must confess that I was very aware of this as I reached for her youthful breast. Stoked by desire, yet disturbed by an undercurrent of fear, my mind was in turmoil. I never wanted something so badly, and at the same time I never wanted to be denied so badly…
VII.
Karla did not stop me, and I did not stop myself. My hand encountered Karla's rib cage, and I pressed on more urgently. It was a race now to touch Karla intimately, my mature hand against her immature breast, before the guilt and shame I was feeling could take root and bring me to my senses. Karla rolled slightly, invitingly, towards me, offering me access and making it plainly known she wanted it to happen as well. And I did not disappoint her. With greed and determination, in defiance of the rational part of my brain, I covered Karla's right breast with my hand. It was so tiny under my large hand, hardly more than a swelling in her skin topped by a small nipple, but it was heavenly. I cupped her gently, my fingers mere collateral as my palm totally covered her, and in that instant I was born again. The guilt and the shame, having suffered an embarrassing and total defeat, retreated quickly, and like a spoiled child that always gets what he wants, I relished the immoral victory.
Not the least bit troubled by my actions, her hand once again compelled my hip to move as I caressed her budding breast. It was a fabulous feeling, touching her in this way, and even though it was an inappropriate touch between a grown man and a preteen girl, I unconsciously did all I could to express the tenderness and love I felt for her through my hand. This was not the groping, threatening sex between a child molester and his victim. It was true fascination and adoration, and I could barely breathe. When I eased my hand over to her left breast, Karla once again shifted to give me better access. It was a subtle move, but it was reassuring, letting me know she did not mind. That I, the adult and chaperone, was requiring reassurance from one of my primary charges, was totally lost on me at the moment. Her tiny left breast was my total focus, every bit as divine as the right, and I carefully studied every square millimeter with my fingers.
Small as it was, I could still detect the outline of a budding breast, the soft flesh in distinct contrast to Karla's otherwise rock-hard body. Using my fingertips to tease her young nipple, it did not respond and stiffen as I was accustomed, and I assumed this was due to her age and immaturity. But there was no doubt that area around her nipple puffed up in response to my stimulation, and this turned me on. The immoral beast in me, whose existence I did not even appreciate until this night, had taken over completely. I was naked and aroused, my cock as hard as it had ever been, and I was in bed with a beautiful and willing girl. That she was significantly underage and totally inexperienced was no longer a concern, it was a source of excitement. Leaning in I kissed Karla's cheek as I fondled her budding breasts, then I nibbled and licked at her ear, causing her to giggle. Then I simply did what had to be done.