Guido and Nunzio were exempt from package-carrying duties, and Massha flatly refused on the basis that being a large woman trying to maneuver through the Bazaar was difficult enough without trying to juggle packages at the same time. Realizing the "you break it, you bought it" policies of the Bazaar, I could scarcely argue with her cautious position.
The final resolution to our baggage problem was really quite simple. I flexed my magic powers a bit and levitated the whole kit and kaboodle. I don't normally like to flaunt my powers publicly, but I figured that this was a necessary exception to the rule. Of course, having our purchases floating along behind us was like having a lighthouse in tow; it drew the Deveels out of their stalls in droves.
To my surprise, I started to enjoy the situation. Humility and anonymity is well and good, but sometimes its nice to be made a fuss over. Bunny hung on my arm and shoulder like a boneless falcon, cooing little endearments of appreciation ... though the fact that I was willing to finance her purchases seemed to be making as much as or more of an impression on her than my minor display of magic.
"Can't say I think much of her taste in clothes,"
Massha murmured to me as we paused once more while Bunny darted into a nearby booth.
To say the least, I was not eager to get drawn into a discussion comparing the respective tastes in clothes of Bunny and my apprentice.
"Different body types look better in different styles," I said, as tactfully as I could.
"Yeah? And what style looks best on my body type?"
"In all honesty, Massha, I can't picture you dressing any differently than you do."
"Really? Say, thanks, Skeeve. A girl always likes to hear a few appreciative noises about how she looks."
I had narrowly sidestepped that booby-trap and cast about frantically for a new subject before the other interpretation of my statement occurred to her.
"Umm ... hasn't Markie been well-behaved?"
"I'll say. I'll admit I was a little worried when you first brought her in, but she's been an angel. I don't think I've ever known a kid this patient and obedient."
"Undemanding, too," I said. "I've been thinking of getting her something while we're out, but I'm having trouble coming up with anything appropriate. The Bazaar isn't big on toy shops."
"Are you kidding? It's one big toy shop!"
"Massha..."
"Okay, okay. So they're mostly toys for adults. Let me think. How old is she, anyway?"
"I'm not really sure. She said she was in the third grade at Elementary School... even though she calls it Elemental School... so that would make her..."
I realized that Massha was staring at me in wide-eyed horror.
"Elemental School!?"
"That's what she called it. Cute, huh? Why, what does..."
My apprentice interrupted me by grabbing my arm so hard that it hurt. "Skeeve. We've got to get her back home... QUICK!!"
"But I don't see..."
"I'll explain later! Just get her and go! I'll round up Bunny and get her back, but you've got to get moving!"
To say the least, I found her manner puzzling. I had never seen Massha so upset. This was obviously not the time for questions, though, so I looked around for Markie. She was standing, fists clenched, glaring at a tent with a closed flap.
All of a sudden everyone was getting uptight. First Massha, and now Markie.
"What's with the kid?" I said, tapping Guide on the shoulder.
"Bunny's in trying on some peek-a-boo nighties, and the owner chased Markie out," my bodyguard explained. "She don't like it much, but she'll get over it. It's part of bein' a kid, I guess."
"I see. Well, I was just going to take her back home anyway. Could one of you stay here with ..."
"SKEEVE! STOP HER!!"
Massha was shouting at me. I was turning toward her to see what she was talking about when it happened, so I didn't see all the details.
There was a sudden WHOOSH followed by the sounds of ripping canvas, wood splintering, and assorted screams and curses.
I whipped my head back around, and my jaw dropped in astonishment.
The booth that Bunny was in was in tatters. The entire stock of the place was sailing off over the Bazaar, as was what was left of the tent. Bunny was trying to cover herself with her hands and screaming her head off. The proprietor, a particularly greasy-looking Deveel, was also screaming his head off, but his emotions were being vented in our general direction instead of at the world in general.
I would say it was a major dilemma except for one thing. The displays on either side of Bunny's tent and for two rows behind it were in a similar state. That is a major dilemma, making the destruction of a single booth pale in comparison.
A voice sprang into my head, drowning out the clamor of the enraged merchants. "If you break it, you bought it!" the voice said, and it spoke with a Devan accent.
"What happened?" I gasped, though whether to myself or to the gods, I wasn't sure.
Massha answered.
"What happened was Markie!" she said grimly. "She blew her cork and summoned up an air elemental... you know, like you learn to do at Elemental School? It appears that when the kid throws a tantrum, she's going to do it with magic!"
My mind grasped the meaning of her words instantly, just as fast as it leaped on to the next plateau. Aahz! I wasn't sure which was going to be worse: breaking the news to Aahz, or telling him how much it had cost us to learn about it!
Chapter Seven:
"There's a time to fight, and a time to hide out!"
-B. CASSIDY
I'VE heard that when some people get depressed, they retire to their neighborhood bar and tell their troubles to a sympathetic bartender. The problem with the Bazaar at Deva (a problem I had never noticed before) is that there are no sympathetic bartenders!
Consequently, I had to settle for the next best thing and holed up in the Yellow Crescent Inn.
Now, a fast-food joint may seem to you to be a poor substitute for a bar. It is. This particular fast-food joint, however, is owned and managed by my only friend at the Bazaar who isn't living with me. This last part was especially important at the moment, since I didn't think I was apt to get much sympathy in my own home.
Gus is a gargoyle, but despite his fierce appearance he's one of the friendliest beings I've ever met. He's helped Aahz and me out on some of our more dubious assignments, so he's less inclined to ask "How did you get yourself into this?" than most. Usually, he's more interested in "How did you get out of it?"
"How did you get yourself into this one?" he said, shaking his head.
Well, nobody's perfect... especially friends.
"I told you, Gus. One lousy card game where I expected to lose. If I had known it was going to backfire like this, so help me I would have folded every hand!"
"You see, there's your problem," the gargoyle said, flashing a grin toothier than normal. "Instead of sitting in and losing, you'd be better off not sitting in at all!"
I rewarded his sound advice by rolling my eyes.
"It's all hypothetical anyway. What's done is done. The question is, ‘What do I do now'?"
"Not so fast. Let's stick with the card game for a minute. Why did you sit in if you were expecting to lose?"
"Look. Can we drop the card game? I was wrong. Okay? Is that what you want to hear?"
"No-o-o," Gus said slowly. "I still want to hear why you went in the first place. Humor me."
I stared at him for a moment, but he seemed perfectly serious.
I shrugged. "The Geek sent me an invitation. Frankly, it was quite flattering to get one. I just thought it would be sociable to ..."
"Stop!" the gargoyle interrupted, raising his hand. "There's your problem."