"What does it look like I'm doing?" she snarled, carrying a massive armload of clothes from her closet to dump on the bed.
"I'd say, offhand, that it looks like you're packing. The question is, why?"
"People usually pack because it's the easiest way to carry their things when they travel. Less wear and tear on the wardrobe."
Suddenly, I was weary of the banter. Heaving a sigh, I moved in front of her, blocking her path.
"No more games, Massha. Okay? Tell me straight out, why are you leaving? Don't you owe your teacher that much at least?"
She turned away, busying herself with something on her dresser. "C'mon, Skeeve," she said in a tone so low I could barely hear it. "You saw what happened downstairs."
"I saw you on the verge of making a major breakthrough in your lessons, if that's what you mean. If Markie hadn't come in, you would have had the candle lit in another few seconds."
"Big deal!"
She spun to face me, and I could see that she was trying not to cry. There seemed to be a lot of that going around.
"Excuse me, Skeeve, but big fat hairy deal. So I can light a candle. So what?! After years of study, Massha can light a candle... and a little girl can blow the end off the table without even trying! What does that make me? A magician? Ha ha! What a joke."
"Massha, I can't do what Markie did downstairs... or what she did in the Bazaar either, for that matter. I told you when you first approached me to be my apprentice exactly how little magic I knew. I'm still learning, though... and in the meantime we're still holding our own in the magic business... and that's here at the Bazaar. The Magic Capital of the dimensions."
That seemed to settle her a bit, but not much.
"Tell me honestly. Hot Stuff," she said, pursing her lips. "How good do you think I could ever be with magic ... really?"
"I don't know. I'd like to think that with work and practice you could be better than you are now, though. That's really all any of us can hope for."
"You may be right, Skeeve, and it's a good thought. The fact still remains that in the meantime, I'll always be small potatoes around here ....agically, of course. The way things are going, I'm destined to be a hanger-on. A leech. You and Aahz are nice guys, and you'd never throw me out, but I can't think of one good reason why I should stay."
"lean."
My head came around so fast I was in momentary danger of whiplash. Framed in the doorway was ...
"TANANDA!"
"In the flesh," she said with a wink. "But that's not the subject here. Massha, I can't speak for long-term conditions but I've got one good reason why you shouldn't leave Just now. It's the same reason I'm not.
"What's that?"
"It involves the Great Skeeve here. C'mon downstairs. I m going to brief everybody at once at a war council. We've got a full-blown crisis on our hands "
Chapter Eleven:
"I believe we're under attack."
-COL. TRAVIS
ONE of the rooms in our extra-dimensional palace had a large oval table in it surrounded by chairs. When we moved in, we dubbed it the Conference Room, since there didn't seem to be any other practical use for it. We never used it for conferences, mind you, but it's always nice to have a conference room.
Tonight, however, it was packed to capacity. Apparently Tananda had rounded up the whole household, including Markie and Bunny, before locating Massha and me, and everyone was already seated as we walked in.
"Can we get started now?" Aahz asked caustically. "I do have other things to do, you know."
"Really?" Chumley sneered. "Like what?"
"Like talking to the Geek about that invitation," my partner shot back.
"Without talking to your partner first?"
"I didn't say I was going to refuse or accept. I just want to talk to him about..."
"Can we table the argument for the moment?" I interrupted. "I want to hear what Tananda has to say."
"Thanks, Skeeve," she said, flashing me a quick smile before dropping back into her solemn manner. "I guess you all know I was moving out of here. Well, poking around the Bazaar, I heard a rumor that's changed my mind. If it's true, we're all going to have our hands full dealing with it."
She paused, but no one else said anything. For a change, we were all giving her our undivided attention.
"I guess I should drop the shoe first, then we can all go on from there. The talk on the street is that someone's hired the Ax to do a number on Skeeve."
There was a few heartbeats of silence; then the room exploded.
"Why should anyone..."
"Who's hired the Ax?"
"Where did you hear..."
"Hold it! HOLD IT!" Tananda shouted, holding up her hands for silence. "I can only answer one question at a time... but I'll warn you in advance, I don't have that many answers to start with."
"Who's hired him?" Aahz demanded, seizing first position.
"The way I heard it, a group of magicians here at the Bazaar is none too happy with Skeeve's success. They feel he's taking all the choice assignments these days ....etting all the glory work. What they've done is pool their money so they can hire the Ax to do what they're all afraid to do themselves... namely, deal with Skeeve."
"Do you hear that, Chumley? Still think I'm being melodramatic?"
"Shut up, Aahz. Where'd you hear this, little sister?"
"Remember Vic? The little vampire that relocated here from Limbo? Well, he's opened his own magic practice here at the Bazaar. It seems that he was approached to contribute to the fund. He's new enough here that he didn't know any of them by name, but they claim to have the support of nearly a dozen of the smalltime magicians."
"Why didn't he warn us as soon as he heard?"
"He's trying to stay neutral. He didn't contribute, but he also didn't want to be the one to blow the whistle to Skeeve. The only reason he said anything to me was that he was afraid that anyone close to Skeeve might get caught in the crossfire. I must admit, he seems to have a rather exaggerated idea of how much Skeeve here can handle on his own."
"Can I ask a question?" I said grimly. "As the intended victim?"
"Sure, Skeeve. Ask away."
"Who's the Ax?"
At least half the heads at the table swiveled toward me while the faces attached to them dropped their jaws.
"You're kidding!"
"Don't you know who ..."
"Aahz, didn't you teach him any..."
"Whoa! Hold it!" I shouted over the clamor. "I can only take so much of this informative babbling at one time. Aahz! As my friend, partner, and sometimes mentor, could you deign to tell me in simple terms who the Ax is?"
"Nobody knows."
I closed my eyes and gave my head a small shake in an effort to clear my ears. After all this ‘Gee, why don't you know that?' brouhaha, I could swear he said ...
"He's right, handsome," Tananda chimed in. "The Ax's real identity is one of the most closely guarded secrets in all the dimensions. That's why he's so effective at what he does."
"That may be true," I nodded. "But from the reaction in this room when you dropped the name, I'd guess that somebody knows something about him. Now, let me rephrase the question. If you don't know who the Ax is, could someone enlighten me as to what he is?"
"The Ax is the greatest Character Assassin in all the dimensions," Aahz said with a snarl. "He works freelance and charges fees that make ours look like pocket change. Once the Ax is on your tail, though, you might as well kiss it goodbye. He's ruined more careers than five stock-market crashes. Haven't you ever heard the expression ‘take the ax to someone'? Well, that's where it comes from."