"That's an interesting theory, Skeeve," Bunny said thoughtfully. "Where'd you hear it?"
"I made it up," I admitted.
"I'll have to mull that one over for a while. Even if you're right, though, what does it prove?"
"Well, I guess I'm trying to say that I think you're focusing too much on the existence of the question. Each time it comes up, resolve it and move on to other things. Specifically, I think we can resolve the question between us right now. As far as I'm concerned, the answer is no, or at least not for a long time. If we can agree on that, I'd like to move on to other things... like getting to know you better."
"I'd say that sounds like a pass, if you weren't saying ‘no' in the same breath. Maybe I have been a little hypersensitive on the subject. Okay. Agreed. Let's try it as friends."
She stuck out her hand, and I shook it solemnly. In the back of my mind was a twinge of guilt. Now that I had gotten her to relax her guard, I was going to try to pump her for information.
"What would you like to know?"
"Well, except for the fact that you're smarter than you let on and that you're Don Bruce's niece, I really don't know much about you at all!"
"Whoops," she giggled, "You weren't even supposed to know about the niece part."
It was a much nicer giggle than her usual brain-jarring squeal.
"Let's start there, then. I understand your uncle doesn't approve of your career choice."
"You can say that again. He had a profession all picked out for me, put me through school and everything. The trouble was that he didn't bother to check with me. Frankly, I'd rather do anything else than what he had in mind."
"What was that?"
"He wanted me to be an accountant."
My mind flashed back to my old nemesis J. R. Grimble back at Possletum. Trying to picture Bunny in his place was more than my imagination could manage.
"Umm ... I suppose accounting is okay work. I can see why Don Bruce didn't want you to follow his footsteps into a life of crime."
Bunny cocked a skeptical eyebrow at me. "If you believe that, you don't know much about accounting."
"Whatever. It does occur to me that there are more choices for one's livelihood than being an accountant or being a moll."
"I don't want to set you off again," she smirked, "but my looks were working against me. Most legitimate businessmen were afraid that if they hired me their wives, or partners, or board of directors, or staff would think they were putting a mistress on the payroll. After a while I decided to go with the flow and go into a field where being attractive was a requirement instead of a handicap. If I'm guilty of anything, it's laziness."
"I don't know," I said, shaking my head. "I'll admit I don't think much of your career choice."
"Oh, yeah? Well, before you start sitting in moral judgment, let me tell you ..."
"Whoa! Time out!" I interrupted. "What I meant was there isn't much of a future in it. Nothing personal, but nobody stays young and good-looking forever. From what I hear, your job doesn't have much of a retirement plan."
"None of the Mob jobs do," she shrugged. "It pays the bills while I'm looking for something better."
Now we were getting somewhere.
"Speaking of the Mob, Bunny, I'll admit this Ax thing has me worried. Do you know off hand if the Mob ever handles character assassination? Maybe I could talk to someone and get some advice."
"I don't think they do. It's a little subtle for them. Still, I've never known Uncle Bruce to turn down any kind of work if the profit was high enough."
It occurred to me that that was a fairly evasive no answer. I decided to try again.
"Speaking of your uncle, do you have any idea why he picked you for this assignment?"
There was the barest pause before she answered.
"No, I don't."
I had survived the Geek's dragon poker game watching other people, and I'm fairly good at it. To me, that hesitation was a dead giveaway. Bunny knew why she was here, she just wasn't telling.
As if she had read my thoughts, a startled look came over her face.
"Hey! It just dawned on me. Do you think I'm the Ax? Believe me, Skeeve, I'm not. Really!"
She was very sincere and very believable. Of course, if I were the Ax, that's exactly what I would say and how I would say it.
Chapter Thirteen:
"Your Majesty should pay attention to his appearance."
-H.C. ANDERSON
THERE are many words to describe the next day's outing into the Bazaar. Unfortunately, none of them are ‘calm', ‘quiet', or ‘relaxing'. Words like ‘zoo', ‘circus', and ‘chaos' spring much more readily to mind.
It started before we even left our base... specifically, over whether or not we should go out at all.
Aahz and Massha maintained that we should go to ground until things blew over, on the theory that it would provide the fewest opportunities for the Ax to attack. Guido and Nunzio sided with them, adding their own colorful phrases to the proceedings. "Going to the mattresses" was one of their favorites, an expression which never ceased to conjure intriguing images to my mind. Like I told Bunny, I'm not totally pure.
Tananda and Chumley took the other side, arguing that the best defense is a solid offense. Staying inside, they argued, would only make us sitting ducks. The only sane thing to do would be to get out and try to determine just what the Ax was going to try. Markie and Bunny chimed in supporting the brother-sister team, though I suspect it was more from a desire to see more of the Bazaar.
After staying neutral and listening for over an hour while the two sides went at each other, I finally cast my vote ... in favor of going out. Strangely enough, my reasons aligned most closely with those of Bunny and Markie: while I was more than a little afraid of going out and being a moving target, I was ever more afraid of being cooped up inside with my own team while they got progressively more nervous and short-tempered with each other.
No sooner was that resolved than a new argument erupted, this time over who was going along. Obviously, everyone wanted to do. Just as obviously, if everybody did, we would look like exactly what we were: a strike force looking for trouble. I somehow didn't think this would assist our efforts to preserve my reputation.
After another hour of name-calling, we came up with a compromise. We would all go. For discretion as well as strategic advantage, however, it was decided that part of the team would go in disguise. That is, in addition to making our party look smaller than it really was, it would also allow our teammates to watch from a short distance and, more important, listen to what was being said around us in the Bazaar. Aahz, Tananda, Chumley, Massha, and Nunzio would serve as our scouts and reserve, while Markie, Bunny, Guido, and I would act as the bait ... a role I liked less the more I thought about it.
Thus it was that we finally set out on our morning stroll... early in the afternoon.
On the surface the Bazaar was unchanged, but it didn't take long before I began to notice some subtle differences. I had gotten so used to maintaining disguise spells that I could keep our five colleagues incognito without it eating into my concentration... which was just as well, because there was a lot to concentrate on.
Apparently word of our last shopping venture had spread, and the reaction among the Deveel merchants to our appearance in the stalls was mixed and extreme.
Some of the displays closed abruptly as we approached, while others rushed to meet us. There were, of course, those who took a neutral stance, neither closing nor meeting us halfway, but rather watching us carefully as we looked over their wares. Wherever we went, however, I noticed a distinct lack of enthusiasm for the favorite Bazaar pastime of haggling. Prices were either declared firm or counteroffers stacked up with minimum verbiage. It seems that, while they still wanted our money, the Deveels weren't eager to prolong contact with us.