Oh, especially then. Ankani smiled suddenly in a way that made her look a lot younger. But mostly we re just really good guessers.
Then maybe you can tell me, I said bluntly.
Do you know why my family would never talk about the Regent?
Of course, said Ankani. But I really think I d better leave it to the Regent to tell you. I think it will come better from him. I really don t want to spoil the surprise.
Ankani led us through a series of narrow, cheerfully lit corridors that reminded me of some old-fashioned country house. And, once again, of the quieter parts of Drood Hall. Along the way we passed a number of other Uncanny agents of an especially outr nature. I did wonder whether this was a show put on for our benefit to impress us with the Department s capabilities. We almost walked right into an agent so thoroughly camouflaged by his surroundings, I could hardly make him out. I looked back as he passed, and all I could see were the footprints he left in the deep carpeting.
Show-off, said Molly.
Our next encounter was with an oversized Hell s Angel, all long hair and heavy biker leathers, with a Rastamouse Lives! T-shirt. He just grunted and nodded quickly, while I wondered exactly where he could blend in as an undercover agent.
He was followed by a ghostly Viking figure, complete with horned helmet and a bear-fur cloak that looked like it might have been part of the bear as early as that morning. He was a huge burly figure, but he still stepped quickly aside to let us pass, half of him disappearing into the wall.
That s the Phantom Berserker, said Ankani. We inherited him from the previous administration. They dug him up out of a burial mound in Norway back in the 1960s, and he followed them back here like a stray dog. So they gave him a bowl of mead and a blanket to sleep on in the kitchen, and he s been here ever since. The Regent did discuss having him exorcised when he took over, but we found we liked having him around. He s just like a big puppy, only with a really big axe. And it s not like he s got anywhere else to go, poor soul. He s a bit single-minded, and more than a bit on the shy side in mixed company, but there s no one you d rather have at your side when there s serious Smiting of the Bad Guys to be done.
She finally knocked on a door that looked no different from all the other doors we d passed, waited for a voice from inside and then pushed the door open and ushered us into the Regent s office. And there he was, at last, the Regent of Shadows and new head of the Department of the Uncanny. A man of average height though a little on the skinny side, who looked to be in his late seventies wearing a scruffy suit with leather patches on the elbows, and what looked like breakfast stains on his waistcoat. He had iron-grey hair, an almost military grey moustache, a charming smile and piercing blue eyes. He looked amiable enough at first, but you had only to meet his steady gaze for a moment to see the unrelenting authority in the man. He reminded me a lot of Catherine Latimer in that both of them seemed very hale and hearty and full of energy for someone of their years. The Regent looked like he d be only too happy to challenge me to a friendly bout of arm wrestling, and probably win two out of three.
He came out from behind his desk with brisk movements and easy charm, and insisted on shaking hands with me and Molly. He had large bony hands and a firm hearty handshake. I found myself relaxing in his presence, despite myself, feeling safe and secure and at home. Molly was friendly enough to him, but I could sense the reserve in her. She never was easily impressed by anyone.
I made a point of looking round the Regent s office to keep from staring at him. It looked more like a retired gentleman s study than a place where important decisions were made every day. More like a quiet room to sit and relax in and refresh the inner man. A comfortable setting, cosy and cheerful, with richly polished, wood-panelled walls. No framed portraits anywhere, for which I was grateful. I d had enough of that for one day. Books filled the shelves of a battered old bookcase, but they were well-thumbed paperbacks rather than leather-bound first editions. And there were yet more fresh flowers, blooming in elegant vases.
There was just the one window, firmly closed, looking out over a late-evening view of wide-open fields spreading away to lap up against a dark forest, half-silhouetted against the dying day. More evidence, if more were needed, that we weren t in London anymore. Beside the window stood a tall grandfather clock, its heavy pendulum swinging slowly, ticking loudly in an impressive and reassuring way. I was half-convinced the entire office had been specially designed to put visitors at their ease, to lull them into a false sense of peace and security. I did my best to resist it. Molly seemed entirely unimpressed by her surroundings, but then, she always did. On principle.
She d liked Catherine Latimer s office only because it was full of things she intended to liberate and take home with her. Or sell for a healthy profit. Fortunately, I couldn t see anything in the Regent s office worth stealing.
He smiled easily at Ankani, who was still hovering in the open doorway. Thank you, Ankani. That will be all for the moment. I can take it from here. Do try and have those execution warrants on my desk by the end of day. There s a dear.
Ankani nodded quickly, smiled brightly at all of us and left in a swirl of sari, shutting the door quietly behind her. The Regent gestured invitingly at the two stiff-backed visitors chairs set out before his desk, and Molly and I sat down. She made a point of moving her chair a little to one side, so she wouldn t be sitting with her back to the door. The Regent sank into his much more comfortable-looking chair on the other side of the desk. There were no in or out trays, no scattered papers; an entirely empty desktop, as though he d deliberately cleared everything away so he could concentrate on Molly and me. He leaned forward and clasped his large hands together on top of his desk. But before he could say anything, his door flew open and a large, plain, middle-aged woman in a cheap print dress bustled in, bearing an enamelled tea tray, complete with a delicate willow-pattern china tea service, and all the makings necessary for a good cup of tea. She strode right up to the desk and planted the tray on the desktop. The Regent beamed at her.
Thank you, Miss Mitchell. Right on cue. And a plate of chocolate hobnobs! You re spoiling us today.
Those are for the visitors, sir, said Miss Mitchell. You told me to remind you you re on a diet.
So I did! So I did
Shall I be mother, sir, and pour for everyone?
No, no, that s fine, Miss Mitchell. I can cope. That will be all for now.
Call if you need anything, sir. I m never far away. She smiled briefly about her and hurried off, closing the door firmly behind her.
A very efficient, and almost frighteningly friendly woman, that Miss Mitchell, said the Regent. I inherited her from someone, and if I ever find out who, I ll have his guts for garters. Possibly quite literally.
And, of course, then nothing would do but the Regent had to set out all the tea things and make sure we all had a nice cup of steaming-hot tea before things went any further. I sipped at mine cautiously. It was good tea. The Regent gave every indication of being a decent, genial, charming sort, but I was determined not to be taken in by appearances. There had to be some good reason why my family would never talk about the man. And then the Regent took a sip of his tea, grimaced at the heat, poured some of his tea into his saucer and sipped the cooled tea from the saucer.
I sat very still as a sudden chill seized my heart and my soul.
The Regent looked at me over his tilted saucer and smiled easily at me. I m glad you ve come to see me at last, Eddie. It s been such a long time since I last saw you.
Molly looked quickly from the Regent to me, saw I wasn t going to say anything, and looked back at the Regent. You know Eddie?