Don t leave me here on my own! Bastards! I ll tell the Regent on you!
I landed on the far side of the gates, my armoured legs absorbing the impact. Though the landing did drive my feet a good three or four inches into the rich green grass. I straightened up and put Molly down. She immediately stamped away from me, brushing fiercely at her dress, and glared about her, ready for action. I took a good look around, but there was no one there. It appeared we had the grounds all to ourselves. I armoured down and tugged my feet carefully out of the depressions I d made. Molly glared at me.
Next time, a little warning!
You might have said no, I pointed out reasonably.
And, besides, you re always telling me I need to be more spontaneous.
We took our time looking around us, checking out the pleasant open grounds surrounding Crow Lee s old-fashioned manor house. Huge lawns, massive flower beds with neatly regimented rows of colour and a whole zoo of hedge sculptures of fantastic animals. Rearing unicorns with flailing hooves and vicious horns, manticores with roaring lions heads and stingers on the tails, giant killer apes beating at their massive chests, and a huge tyrannosaurus towering over all the others, its great wedge head full of spiky green teeth.
Really don t care for hedge animals, I said. They re not moving now, but they ve got that look about them especially the T. rex.
Far too obvious, said Molly. Probably just a distraction to keep us from noticing the real threat.
I know a real threat when I see one, and I am looking at one right now, I said firmly. I don t suppose you thought to bring any weed killer?
Why is it always my job to think of things like that?
Because you re the practical one. Or so you keep telling me.
Look at the size of that greenhouse, said Molly, pointing off to one side. What have they got in there their own private jungle?
I looked where she was pointing, and she was right. I d never seen a greenhouse that big. It was packed full of strange and wondrous plants, thrashing and beating against the insides of the glass panels. Massive flowers with thick pulpy petals that opened and closed as though shouting green threats at us, while thorns like knitting needles stabbed wildly at everything around them. The colours were rich and overpowering, almost hypnotic in their intensity.
Let s not go in there, I said.
Molly sniffed. You never give me flowers.
Scattered across the wide-open lawns were any number of large abstract sculptures, all holes and curves and sudden turns. The shapes seemed to shift and change subtly when you weren t looking at them directly. None of the shapes made any obvious sense, but still somehow gave the impression that they might, if you stared at them long enough. And got close enough I didn t think I would.
Molly and I wandered through the grounds, taking our time. No one had arrived to challenge our right to be there. There was just the one great fountain in the midst of everything: a tall statue of a young woman fashioned from some old dark stone, endlessly screaming, arms outstretched, as though pleading for help that never came. Discoloured water poured from her distorted mouth, falling into a great circular pond full of murky water in which very large fish darted back and forth. Molly and I strolled over to peer into the pond.
Piranha, said Molly.
What else would you expect in a place like this? I said. Koi?
Molly ignored me, leaning forward for a better look. A piranha the size of my fist jumped right up out of the water and flashed through the air, heading straight for Molly s face with an open mouth stuffed full of jagged teeth. Molly barely had time to react before I armoured up my hand, snatched the flying fish out of midair, and crushed it in my golden gauntlet. It never got anywhere near Molly s face. Pulped fish guts squeezed between my golden fingers as I ground the nasty thing in my fist, just to make sure, and then I opened my hand and shook off the mess. It fell back into the pond, whose waters became briefly very agitated as the other piranha fought one another over the fresh food. I pulled the armour back into my torc.
Nice reaction time, said Molly, stepping carefully back from the pool.
I thought so, I said modestly.
I would have stopped it in time, said Molly.
I was never in any real danger. But it s nice to know you re paying attention.
Anytime, I said.
And then, because we d looked at everything else, we turned and looked across the great open lawns at Crow Lee s manor house. It looked very nice. A pleasant and peaceful old-fashioned stone house with a half-timbered front and a sloping grey-tiled roof. Ivy on the walls; flowers round the door. The kind of thing you see on jigsaw-puzzle box covers. It looked cosy and comfortable, the only slightly off note being the closed curtains at every window, so you couldn t see in. The front door was very firmly closed.
I can t believe the Most Evil Man in the World lives in a cosy nook like this, I said finally. Are you sure we re not looking at some kind of illusion?
Molly shook her head immediately. I already checked it out with my Sight. It s just a house. I can t See inside, though; there are some heavy-duty privacy spells in place. Hello. I spy movement.
From every side, dark figures were appearing out of nowhere. Armed guards came running across the lawns at us, from every direction at once. Professional-looking mercenary soldiers in bluff uni-forms, all of them very heavily armed. They moved quickly to surround us, cutting us off from any possible exit. I had to smile. Like we had any intention of going anywhere
Fun time! I said loudly.
That s usually my line, said Molly.
The mercenary soldiers took up their positions in silence, levelling weapons on us from every side. They didn t call out to us to stand still or raise our hands or surrender. Which sort of suggested they weren t that interested in taking prisoners. There were a hell of a lot of them, armed to the teeth, clearly expecting a fight. So it seemed a shame to disappoint them. I armoured up, the golden metal flowing all over me in a moment. My armour glowed brightly in the early-evening light, and there were startled gasps and muttered blasphemies all around me. Some of the younger soldiers just froze where they were, eyes wide and mouths slack, as they got their first good look at a Drood in his armour. But others pressed forward, guns at the ready, so I went swiftly forward to meet them. Molly was right there with me, sorcerous energies spitting and crackling in the air around her fists.
If they had any sense, they d run, I said loudly. Even a professional soldier should have more sense than to go up against Drood armour.
They don t look all that impressed, said Molly.
They re about to be, I said. Suddenly and violently and all over the place.
The soldiers looked at me and at Molly, and decided Molly was the easier target because she didn t have any armour. They all opened fire at once, the roar of gunfire shockingly loud in the quiet. I moved automatically to stand between Molly and the soldiers, and the bullets ricocheted harmlessly away from my armour, flying this way and that, making some soldiers duck frantically, and chewing up a nearby hedge sculpture of a giant boar. Its curving tusks were shot away in a moment, and its shaggy head just exploded. It did occur to me that if I d been wearing my usual strange-matter armour, it would have absorbed all the bullets rather than let them prove a danger to innocent bystanders. But I was wearing Moxton s Mistake, and the rogue armour didn t care. And, besides, there were no innocent bystanders on the grounds of Crow Lee s house.
Molly shouldered me aside. How many times do I have to tell you, Eddie Drood, that I am quite capable of looking after myself?
She strode deliberately into the hail of bullets. All the soldiers were firing at us now, the roar of automatic weaponry deafening at such close range. Molly had a protective screen firmly in place that gathered up all the bullets that came at her and held them in midair, hovering before her. One by one the soldiers stopped firing, lowered their weapons and just stood there, looking at her in a dazed and demoralised sort of way. Molly snapped her fingers once and all the bullets dropped out of the air to bounce lightly on the grass at her feet.