She closed her eyes. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. Even if we get out of this alive, I don’t know if Luke and I will—” She opened her eyes and straightened. “Luke and I will be fine. We’ll get through it. And I may forgive you when it’s all over. But if you ever do anything like this again, I’ll murder you.”
He smiled but didn’t answer.
Because he knew that there was no way she could do without him. He was as much a part of her life and being as Luke. One was born of her body and the other of her loneliness and need.
“Smirking is rude.”
“That’s why I never smirk.”
She looked at the door. “I think Cameron should be back by now. It seems as if he’s been gone a long time.”
“Not long at all really.”
“Maybe I should go—” She met his gaze and nodded. “I’ll wait a little longer.”
“That would be wise.” He got to his feet. “And I will go to my patient and make sure she’s doing well. Though it seems impossible that she would not after my expert care.”
Catherine lay down before the stove, her gaze on Luke. He was sleeping deeply, his cheeks flushed, his dark hair mussed. Erin had said he was beautiful, but he was so much more. She had not begun to plumb the depths of her son. Tonight had shown her how far she still had to go.
“I love you, Luke. Don’t give up on me. I won’t give up on you.”
She was still lying there, fifteen minutes later, gazing at Luke, when the front door opened with an icy blast.
She stiffened. Cameron. Of course it was Cameron. But it hadn’t stopped that first surge of panic.
Cameron smiled as he brushed back his parka as he came into the hut. “No problem,” he said softly as he moved toward her. He fell to his knees and held out his hands to the fire. “I was tempted to give you warning while I was coming up the road, but I did make you a promise.”
“Yes, you did. What about Kadmus?”
“He and Brasden are scurrying around on the other road leading from the hot springs. That should give us the time we need.”
“Should?”
“Kadmus is pushing hard. He’ll have his men searching all night. And he may be exploring all his maps and local contacts to see if he can find anyplace you could be hiding. He knows these mountains, and lately he’s been making an effort to know them a hell of a lot better.”
“Why?”
He shrugged but didn’t answer.
“Is it because he knows you’re in these mountains?”
“Perhaps.”
“Why is he so fanatical about you?”
“He’s a madman. Haven’t you noticed?” His lips twisted. “He has a passion to be king of the universe. Evidently, he has an idea that if he could get his hands on me, I could help him.”
“Could you?”
“Possibly. But it wouldn’t come to that.”
“Why not?”
“I’d be allowed to kill him.”
“Allowed?” Her eyes widened. The word opened an entirely new avenue of thought that she didn’t like. “Oh, for God’s sake, you’re playing games with Kadmus.” The anger was searing through her. “That conglomerate you work for is using him in some way. Just like Venable. He could have sent Special Forces to take Kadmus out, but he was ‘useful’ on occasion so it never happened. He didn’t want to lose a valuable contact. That’s what’s happening with you, isn’t it?”
“In a broad sense.”
“Hu Chang says that you could have gone in and gotten Erin out. He said he’d seen you do it before when he was with you. Why didn’t you do it? Oh, yes, you couldn’t risk your valuable hide. But it was more than that, wasn’t it? Your precious committee didn’t want you to offend Kadmus.”
“‘Offend’ is not the word.”
“So you let him torture Erin.”
“Yes, and there’s nothing I can say that would absolve me of that in your eyes.”
“You bet there’s not. Balance a woman like Erin’s suffering against corporate greed? How could you live with yourself?”
“The way I live with all the decisions I make every day,” he said quietly. “And it wasn’t a question of any deals or bribes to keep Kadmus in our pockets. We’ve never had any dealings with Kadmus. It was just a committee decision that I wasn’t able to argue. Under the circumstances, I couldn’t go after Erin.”
“Why not? What stopped you?”
“Unless I went in alone as you did, I’d have no choice but to confront Kadmus.”
“And that wouldn’t be according to committee rules, would it? You might damage yourself.”
“I’m trying to be patient, Catherine.” His words were slow and precise, but his blue eyes were glittering in his taut face. “I’m not accustomed to having to explain myself.”
“Because you think you’re master of all you survey? You and Kadmus have a lot in common.”
“You do manage to make me—” He was silent a moment. “You’re right, I have to think twice about risking myself. It’s a rule. And if I organized a raid, I knew what the result would be.” He paused. “To save Erin, I would have had to kill Kadmus.”
“Good. Then it would all have been over.”
“Not for me. Not for the committee,” he said. “It would have caused a chain reaction that would not have been beneficial.” He shrugged. “Or so the committee decided. I didn’t agree with them. I think we can work around it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“And you’re too angry to care. Actually, there’s only one thing that you should accept and understand. Until I persuade the committee to my way of thinking, I cannot kill Kadmus.”
“But you hoped that I would do it.”
“As you said, it would have all been over.”
“If you believed you were right, you should have done it.”
“I also believe in discipline.”
“Those monks who trained you weren’t necessarily correct.”
His brows lifted. “You and Hu Chang evidently had a talk while I was gone.”
“You knew I’d ask him about you.”
“And that he’d answer as long as it was safe for you. He must have decided that I wouldn’t harm you if I could help it.”
“Was he right?”
His gaze moved slowly from the top of her head, down her face, throat, and breasts. It was unbearably intimate, searingly sexual. “Not unless you ask me to do it.”
Heat.
She shouldn’t be feeling this sudden surge of sexuality. She was angry with him. She didn’t understand half of what he had told her, but she knew she would probably disagree with every word.
None of it mattered.
The heat was there and would not go away.
Tingling.
Swelling breasts.
Breathlessness.
She could feel that same heat flush her cheeks. Why the hell did he have this effect on her? It was pure mindless lust and moments that seemed to strike out of nowhere.
“I won’t ask anything of you. Particularly not S and M.” She steadied her voice. “But what I will ask you is how soon we can get off this mountain. Kadmus isn’t standing still. We shouldn’t either.”
“We’re not standing still. We’re conserving our resources and bandaging our wounds.”
“When?”
“Tashdon, my helicopter pilot, will be arriving here at about eight in the morning. We’ll start down to the plateau at five.” He checked his watch. “Six hours to sleep. You’d better get some rest. The descent isn’t as bad as going up, but it’s still rough.” He glanced at Luke. “He did very well. You’d have been proud of him.”
“I am proud of him.”
He nodded. “I could see you in him. The fire. The stubbornness. I was harder than I needed to be on him. I wanted to see what he was made of.”
“And you found out?”
“Just you. And the backbone and ferocity of a tiger.” His expression was suddenly shadowed. “He reminded me of another young boy I knew once.” He got to his feet. “And now I think I’d better go tell Hu Chang when we’re leaving and see if he has any warnings or threats to impart regarding you. He’s been discreetly restraining himself from glancing at us, but I can feel the disturbance.”
She could feel it, too. Hu Chang was sitting quietly beside Erin, but Catherine could read the body language.