“No. Edna, please.” Tansi’s voice was lower now.
“I’m afraid so. But I have to admit-the matchbook, the car, even the gloves-all could be explained away by an adroit lawyer. The matchbook got me to thinking. But there was one point that finally convinced me.” I paused, carefully planned my words. “The night Lydia died she called me, largely hysterical and crazy, but, through all the blather and nonsense, a couple things were clear. She was despairing Jimmy’s leaving her, true-that probably led to her death, one way or another. But she was also bothered by Nell’s moving out, at your prompting, even though that day you’d all enjoyed, at Nell’s request, a reconciliation lunch. No hard feelings, you said Nell told you. Except that it left Lydia more maddened. She called me because you mentioned how helpful I was to you-and to Jimmy. Lydia probably misunderstood you. Certainly you never expected her to seek solace from me. But she called, rambled on and on, probably gave me clues to her impending death, which unfortunately I misread, and then she hung up. Later on, she overdosed. Probably on purpose, but maybe not. We’ll never know. Max Kohl wandered in, and for a while seemed a perfect suspect. I also realized that he’d probably returned to Carisa’s apartment the time I was there with Mercy in order to get the money he suspected Warner had paid to Carisa. She probably blabbed about it. The police would find it later. But that’s another story. Anyway, I’m getting off track here.”
I breathed in. “But Lydia said something curious to me. She was bothered by the discovery of a letter she’d stupidly written to Carisa, a letter that, like Jimmy’s, made idle threats and dumb accusations. A letter written in anger. Lydia was afraid that its contents, revealed, would draw attention to her. Well, I mentioned that letter to Detective Cotton, thinking he was holding back information, but it surprised him. He’d not found such a letter. In fact, he just assumed Lydia, in her narcotic haze, was really talking about Jimmy’s letter.”
“She was…I know she was.” Rapid, spat-out words.
“No, she wasn’t. It was a moment of lucidity for the tragic girl. And that’s why I had to talk to Nell. The three of you had lunch that day. The so-called reconciliation lunch that reconciled no one. And Nell, at my prodding, recalled that the subject of letters was brought up, Carisa’s letters to Jimmy and Warner. The Jimmy letter, too. And then the subject turned to Lydia’s letter-and its contents. It was all part of the conversation, and Nell thought little of it. She assumed you knew something from Cotton that she didn’t. No one paid it any mind. But Lydia did. She thought that Cotton had found her letter. And then Nell told me that, in fact, you mentioned it at lunch. You brought it up. A few drinks, friendly chat, easy going, it just slipped out. No one knew about that letter. The only person, besides Lydia, was the person who probably took it from the apartment, either on purpose or by accident. You, Tansi, you.”
A long silence, the three of us sitting there, with me staring across the table at the frozen, hardened face of the woman I knew as a child, a young girl, a young woman. Tansi, daughter of one of my oldest friends. Tansi, rigid now. Silent. Finally, she growled, ready to defend herself. But the lips quivered, the iron resolve shattered; the hands suddenly darted to her face, and she covered her eyes. When she removed her hands, her eyes were misty, frightened. She swallowed, then tossed her head back and forth, and sort of smiled.
“My God, Edna, my God.”
“Tell me, Tansi.”
“I had to do something. Don’t you see?” She waited.
“Tell me, Tansi. I don’t see. This is impossible for me to see.”
Tansi’s hands were shaking. Mercy reached across the table and touched the back of one wrist, a loving, comforting gesture. But Tansi recoiled, as from snakebite, and tucked her hands under her armpits.
“I had to. To protect Jimmy. Somebody had to. Nobody was doing anything. Jake was playing games, back and forth, going nowhere. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Those letters scared me. Warner kept telling Jake to take care of it. It drove me mad. Jimmy’s so helpless, a boy, a child. He’s…gentle. He’s not built for this. I’d watch him and see the sadness, the hurt. You all see it, Edna. Everybody does. He can’t help himself. He told me that story of his mother dying and how he couldn’t do it alone, and my heart broke. And so I knew Carisa would do him dirt. I knew her, you know. I’d seen her in Marfa. She was all over him, just horrible. He couldn’t stay away from her. It was me who got her fired. She had to go. And then the letters started arriving.”
“But the studio was handling it, no?” Mercy said.
“No, they weren’t. They didn’t understand Carisa. Before she left Marfa, I talked to her, so I knew she was crazy. I knew what she was capable of. Not the money, not the baby. She wanted to destroy Jimmy Dean. The public James Dean. James Dean: the best thing that ever happened to Hollywood. Look at him-sensitive, moody, beautiful, talented. You know, I can’t tell you how kind he was to me in Marfa. And here. Only a woman could understand the kind of hatred Carisa had for him after he left her. Warner, Jake, they thought cash and threats would do it…”
“So you went there?”
“It took all I could do to drive into that neighborhood. You can imagine. I was scared to death. Everyone in Hollywood always warns you about Skid Row. I’d never been there. But I went one afternoon, after the first letters, found the apartment, but she wasn’t home. So I wrote a harsh letter and left it under her door-scribbled, dumb, angry. I said some dangerous things. But I said, Call me. I gave my number. Call me. We need to talk. And God, the stuff I said in anger. I just scribbled nonsense. Call me. And she did. She said my letter was sufficient for a lawsuit against Warner. It scared me. I went back there, and yes, we sat in that restaurant-that grimy bar and grill with the filthy tables and the greasy men, and she laughed at me, at first. She said I was one of Jimmy’s patsies, some sex-starved spinster who he could wrap around his finger and she’d had enough of it. She knew things about him, she said, dirty things, things he’d done with…with people. I tried to talk sense to her. Why hurt him? He’s on the verge of being one of the great actors of our time. Like Cary Grant. The next Montgomery Clift. Brando. But she kept laughing, and I wanted to kill her. I realized I was in too deep now, pleading with her, but then she quoted from my letter. ‘Wait till Warner hears about this,’ she said. ‘You’ll be out of a job, baby.’ And the more I pleaded the more she laughed. She said she was going to Confidential magazine. Then she got mad, wild, screaming at me. I had to run out of the place.”
“The matchbook?”
“I never thought about it. I remember smoking cigarette after cigarette. Her, too. Both of us like furnaces.”
“But why did you go after the cocktail party?”
“I knew Jimmy wanted you to go,” she looked at Mercy, “and you said no. But I saw you were intrigued, Edna. That’s why I said stay away. I didn’t want Carisa telling you all those garbage stories, the filth about him. And I didn’t want any mention of my stupid letter. Then that day that last letter came-the threat to talk to Confidential. After Jimmy ran out of the party, I decided to slip out, unnoticed. I figured he’d go there, to her. I sat there in front of her place, furious with Carisa, and I saw Tommy, that fool, running out. I hid my head but he wasn’t looking. Then the Strand twins, like frantic cockroaches, ran by, looked up at the apartment, and then ran off. It seemed like everything was going crazy. I was so angry. I went in, up the stairs, pounded on the door. ‘Oh, it’s you,’ she said, opening the door. ‘The woman who will never get into his pants.’ That’s what she yelled at me. ‘What is this-visit Carisa day at the Warner Bros. Studio? Am I on the bus tour?’”