“Unfortunately, there is only one door out of my Hall and to go through it, you must be judged.”
“But we’re not dead.”
“I would so have remembered to tell him that,” Anubis muttered.
“Living or dead, it doesn’t matter,” Osiris pointed out. “Judgment is the only way out. One at a time, your hearts will be weighed against a single feather. If your heart is lighter than the feather, you will be declaredmaa kheru and the door will be opened. If it is heavier, then you stand condemned and will be devoured…” He gestured toward a triangle of deep shadow to the left of his throne. “…by the Eater of the Dead.”
“But we’re not dead,” Claire repeated, enunciating carefully.
NOT A PROBLEM. I’LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
“Claire?” Lance grabbed her shoulder and shook her hard enough to rattle her teeth. “Your mouth is open.”
She closed it. Opened it. Closed it again.“What are you doing here?” she demanded at last.
DARKNESS. CONDEMNED SOULS. I GET AROUND.
“Obviously.”
I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON’T.
Claire snorted. Only a rookie would fall for that.
IT’S ABOUT YOUR LITTLE SISTER.
Her toes were at the edge of the shadow before she was even aware of moving.“You stay away from my sister!”
OH, I’M SO SCARED. MAKE ME.
About to reach into the possibilities, Osiris’ voice snapped her back into reason. “You two know each other?”
“We’ve met.” Walking carefully, deliberately, back to Lance’s side, Claire turned on one bare heel and glared at the shadow. “Last couple of times it happened, I kicked metaphorical ass.”
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, THIRD TIME LUCKY.
“Really? You know what else they say?” She folded the fingers of her right hand into an “L” and tapped it against her forehead. “Loser. Loser. Loser.”
“Keeper!” The Lord of Judgment’s voice had picked a tone somewhere between Darth Vader and her mother. “Stop taunting the Eater of the Dead.”
“Sorry.”
YOU WILL BE.
“And that’s enough out of you as well.” Osiris stepped down off the throne, his size changing from gigantic to merely tall. “Anubis, bring out the scales.”
Claire didn’t exactly catch where Anubis brought the scales out from. It appeared between one heartbeat and the next, the onyx center post exactly as tall as Osiris, the onyx arms, the same measure. Shallow golden bowls hung at the end of golden chains.
“Thou turnest thy face upon Amentet and thou makest the earth to shine as with refined copper.”
“Lance, what are you doing?”
He lifted his eyes from the small screen.“Sucking up!”
This had to be the most sensible thing he’d said since the beach. “Carry on.”
“Those who have lain down, rise up to see thee, they breathe the air and they look upon girls, girls, girls. You wanna see girls? We got the best at www.ohmama.com. Wait a minute, that last bit’s something else I downloaded!”
“I guessed.”
“How’d it get into this file?”
“Shut up, Lance.”
“But I have more!”
It was always hard to tell with anthropomorphic personifications of gods, but the expression on Osiris’ face was making Claire just a little nervous. “No, really, Lance, shut up.”
Maybe she’d finally reached the magic number. Maybe he was trying for a satellite uplink. Whatever the reason, he actually stopped talking.
“Bast. The feather.”
Bast pulled a white feather from the air and laid it in one of the shallow bowls.
“This feather is from the Sacred Ibis.” Osiris shot Bast a look as he spoke. Claire knew that look although the accompanying dialogue had goneThis feather is from Mrs. Griffon’s canary!“Who will go first to judgment?”
“I will!”
When Osiris turned his dark gaze on her, Claire realized she must have made some small sound of protest. But did it really matter which of them went first? This wasn’t something she could protect a Bystander from and, who knew, maybe enthusiasm would count for something. Still…“If he passes and I don’t, do I have your word you’ll send him home? Tohis home,” she added hastily. Rule whatever—be specific.
“You have my word,” Osiris answered solemnly.
“Good enough.”
Anubis beckoned Lance forward.
“This is amazing! I mean you can read about this sort of thing and study it, but to actually be a part of…”
The jackal-headed god’s hand sank into Lance’s chest and emerged clutching his beating heart.
“…ow! You know, I thought this would be a little more metaphorical!”
Osiris shrugged.“I weigh your heart against a feather. Seems fairly straightforward to me. Anubis…”
Lance’s heart landed in one of the shallow bowls with a moist thud as Osiris laid the feather in the other. The scales began to shift.
“Wait a minute! That’s my…” Pale blue eyes rolled up so only the whites showed.
Claire danced back as Lance hit the floor.“You know, up until now, he’d been taking this whole experience annoyingly well.”
“He’s not the first fainter we’ve had,” Osiris said matter-of-factly as he watched the bowl holding Lance’s heart begin to rise. “He’ll be fine once he gets his heart back. I’m getting the impression he doesn’t worry about much,” he added as the feather continued to drop. “He treats his life as a series of grand adventures; this one merely a little more grand than usual. Besides, I can feel a place where his ka was brushed by a dark ka. As long as that shadow remains, he’ll be…”
“Distracted?”
“Focused.”
Well, that explained the Meryat obsession.“Does the shadow affect…” She waved a hand toward the scales…
…which had stilled with Lance’s heart holding steady a good six inches above the feather.
“Not in the least. I judge this man to bemaa kheru. He is free to go. Anubis.”
Anubis, who’d been licking his fingers, leaped forward, retrieved Lance’s heart, squatted down, and pushed it carefully back into his body.
“Bast…”
Caught between bracing herself and trying to relax, Claire missed Bast’s hand plunging into her chest, but she certainly felt it coming out. Ow! was a bit of an understatement. The cat-headed goddess frowned slightly as she crossed to the scale and Claire began to have a bad feeling about how this was going to turn out.
Of course her heart was heavy. She was a Keeper. She was responsible for the metaphysical protection of a good chunk of southeastern Ontario and upstate New York. And then there was the guest house and Diana, and being away from the segue, and dragging Lance around the Otherworlds, and not even knowing there were Otherworlds until she found herself plunged into the middle of them. Or maybe it. And she’d left Dean alone to face a reanimated mummy. Sure, Austin was with him, but he wasn’t supposed to be, and what had she been thinking dragging a seventeen-year-old cat into an evil shopping mall anyway?
“Well. This is…interesting.” All three gods were staring at the scales. The bowl holding the feather was brushing the floor. The bowl holding her heart was an arm’s length above Osiris’ head.
“Is this happening because I’m a Keeper?” Claire hazarded.
“No. This is happening because this isn’t your heart.”
She glanced down at her chest and up at the bowl.“Pardon?”
“It appears you have given your heart to another. This heart is his.”
Dean stared down into Claire’s face for a long moment before his mouth finally curved into a worried smile. “Got my heart?”
She laid a hand lightly against her chest.“Right here. Got mine.”
He mirrored the motion.“Safe and sound.”
“A most unusual young man.”
He’d lived next to a hole to Hell for six months and it hadn’t even convinced him to drop his underwear on the floor.
“He is, yes.”
The Lord of Death dragged Dean’s heart down to where Bast could reach it. “You realize you’re getting off on a technicality.”