“Sure. Why not.” The small plastic packet of cayenne pepper got slid very carefully up against the flat side of the pouch. “But for now, you’ll have to stay here in the store where you’ll be safe.”
“I’m not afraid to fight!”
“Good. If the store gets attacked, you’ll have to.” Fortunately, with Arthur out in the mall, there’d be no chance of that. Claire unzipped an outside pocket on Diana’s pack, reached into it, and froze as her fingers closed around air. “The wand. Diana took the wand.”
“That’s bad?”
“When she used it against a minion, it nearly killed her. If she uses it against the darkside…”
“But I thought she was captured?”
“So?” It took all of Claire’s strength to push that single syllable out against the certain knowledge that her little sister was as good as dead.
“So if it’s that powerful, then she didn’t get to use it before she was captured. After, well, they’ll have taken it away from her so shecan’t use it. Right?”
Claire actually felt time start up again.“Right.” For the first time since the beach, she looked at Lance with something other than pique. Like he was something other than an unwanted responsibility. “Thank you.”
His cheeks flushed under the sunburn.
“So what’s the holdup?” Sam jumped up onto the top of Claire’s pack. “Why aren’t we moving out?”
She zipped the belt pouch closed.“We?”
Amber eyes narrowed, and his tail traced one long, slow arc from side to side.
“You’re right.” Claire raised both hands in surrender, ignoring Lance’s questioning glance. Some arguments didn’t require actual dialogue. “But you’re not coming with me because I need you go with Arthur. If he’s challenged to single combat, he’ll forget everything I’ve told himabout why he shouldn’t and leap forward to do what he considers the only honorable thing.”
“I want…”
“Sam, there has to be someone there to tell him when he’s being an idiot and that’s one of the things cats do best.”
“But Diana…”
“Needs my full attention. I can’t be worrying about what Arthur’s going to do if I’m to have a chance of saving her.”
Sam’s ears saddled. “You’re that sure he’ll answer a challenge?”
“I am. It’s one of the benefits of working with an archetype.” As Arthur climbed up onto the chair, she frowned thoughtfully and added, “Actually, it’s pretty much the only benefit.”
Arthur stared out at his assembled elves, raised his sword, opened his mouth, and closed it again.
The moment had long passed.
He jerked his head toward the mall.“Let’s go.”
*
“So, we’re winning, right? And this is part of your plan?”
Diana glanced over at Kris as the surrounding meat-minds shoved them along familiar corridors.“This?”
“Yeah. This.” Her gesture took in the meat-minds and the back of the Shadowlord walking up ahead. “You know, being captured and taken back to that…hole. ’Cause that’s where you want to be, right?”
“Kris, that hole is essentially an entrance to Hell.”
“So, as a plan, it sucks. But itis a plan, right?”
Since the other girl so clearly needed to hear a specific answer, Diana smiled and lowered her voice.“Yeah, it’s a plan. It’s not much of one now, but it will be by the time we get there.”
“Wicked.”
Actually, yes, it being Hell and all, but Diana figured Krisdidn’t need to hear that right now. Closing Hell down in the real world had been difficult enough, closing it on the Otherside without access to the possibilities would be almost impossible. Rules would probably have to be broken.Hey, it’s not like I haven’t broken rules before.
Although not big ones.
Not on purpose anyway.
And intent counted.
I’m intending to save the world. That ought to count for something.
Destroying the bugs had been easy—once she’d plugged the small memory leak—as easy as tripping up the meat-minds by noticing how clumsy they looked. but Hell hadn’t given either the bug or the meat-minds substance. People preferred their world to have form and function and by giving darkness definition, they gave it a physical presence. The mall elves had created their own monsters. Giant bugs, skittering around inside the walls, and big, slow-moving guys with short hair, beady eyes, heavy guts and hands that were too big for their bodies.
The mall elves had been street kids before they found their way through to the Otherside.
The meat-minds were broad stereotypes of bad cops.
Maybe we should throw coffee and donuts at them. Answer one bad stereotype with another.
“You just had an idea.”
“What?”
Kris dug her elbow into Diana’s side with unconcealed glee. “You grinned. And your eyes were gleaming. You just had an idea. Hey, you! Piece of Hell Guy!” She raised her voice. “My girl’s gonna kick your Metamucil ass!”
He turned, his expression so affronted Diana couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “My what?”
“I think you meant metaphysical,” she murmured into an elven ear.
“Metaphysical, metamorphosis, metronome,The Metropolis Daily Planet!” Kris snorted. “Thepoint is the ass kicking.”
His lip curled.“The point is that you are my prisoners, and I know a great many ways to make you scream.”
Remember the meaning of enough, Diana pleaded silently with Kris.If you push him too far… She’d only get one chance to use the wand and the last thing she wanted to do was weigh the life of one beautiful, funny, interested girl against the world.
And, for a change, it reallywas the last thing she wanted to do.
When neither Keeper nor elf responded, he nodded, turned, and the whole procession began moving again.
About five minutes of shoving later, Kris sighed.“I should’ve said it’d take more than an old white guy to make me scream. Wrong color. Wrong gender. Wrong wang.”
“Yeah, you always think of the good lines when it’s too late.”
“Truth.”
“Wang?”
“You know.” She pumped her hand at her crotch.
“Ah. Wang.”
By the time they reached the cavern, the wand had slid out from under her waistband and started down her right leg. It would have slid farther, but one of the points got caught on the leg elastic of her underwear. Diana half expected Hell to say,Is that a wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, but the pit remained silent as they were marched toward it.
She’d only get one chance.
One.
As the meat-minds released them, the Shadowlord stepped back and wrapped long pale fingers around their upper arms, dragging them to the edge.
Diana could feel Hell watching her. She was going to need a diversion. Meanwhile, there was no point in cowering.“So…” Given the way the hair was raising off the back of her neck in reaction to Hell’s attention, bored was a bit more than she could manage but—thank God for being seventeen—insolent was no problem. “…what are you going to do with us?”
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
“Don’t tell me. Not the virgin sacrifice again.”
APPARENTLY NOT.
Hell sounded put out about her moral failings?“Oh, ha ha.”
THANK YOU. I’VE ALWAYS PRIDED MYSELF ON MY SENSE OF HUMOR.
“That explains a whole lot about Comedy Central.”
HEY, DON’T BLAME JON STEWART ON ME. I DON’T EVEN GET CABLE.
“Well, it’sHell.”
AND YET YOUR LOT ALWAYS SEEM SO SURPRISED WHEN I TRY TO EXPAND MY HORIZONS.
“You’re trying to take over the world for cable?”
NOTJUST CABLE. YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO PETTY.
“Sorry.”
NO, YOU’RE NOT.
Diana sighed.“You’re right. I’m not sorry.” She tried to yank her arm free without success and sighed again. “Could we get on with it?”
IT?
“The part where you gloat about what you’re going to do to us.”
YOU’RE IN A HURRY?
“I just thought we should get it out of the way.” She leaned forward far enough to catch Kris’ eye around the Shadowlord’s black-clad body. “It’s in the Rules.”