After the discussion of romantic proposals, I excuse myself to use the toilet; after three glasses of wine and a bottle of water, my bladder is about ready to burst. Once I’ve done my business, I make my way towards the kitchen when I suddenly stop in my steps when I hear Alana in a heated discussion with someone.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re playing at, but you need to leave him alone. Ava might not have noticed your indiscrete flirting with Ashton, or Ashton for that matter, but I certainly have. Ava’s been through enough shit in her lifetime without having some little hussy trying to get in the way of her much deserved happily ever after. They’re happy and in love, and whatever you’re thinking may happen between you and Ashton is never going to happen. Never. He didn’t love you when you were kids, he will never love you now. You need to leave them alone.”
My heart is racing as I take in Alana’s sharp words that, I assume, are being directed to Riley. Nervous laughter follows and I find myself leaning towards the entrance of the kitchen to try and hear better.
“Alana,” I hear Riley begin with a slight stutter. “Seriously, I don’t know want you think you saw today, but I swear to you it was innocent. I didn’t mean anything by it. He’s just an old friend.”
“Well the flirting needs to stop. It’s disrespectful to Ava and quite frankly flirting with a man who’s engaged to be married is downright distasteful, no matter how innocent it is. You don’t want to cross me or my family because I guarantee it will end badly for you, so back the hell off, okay?”
“Is that a threat, Alana?” I hear the condescending tone in Riley’s voice and my mind is left reeling, shocked. Is it a threat? Holy shit, is this conversation really happening right now? I was sure this was all in my head, but Alana just confirmed that my insecurities were most definitely warranted.
Silence only follows from Alana, and after a moment passes a set of footsteps descend from the kitchen. I flinch when I hear the sound of a glass slamming along the countertop and Riley muttering, “Fucking bitch.”
After a few minutes, once I know the coast is clear, I finally make my way through the kitchen out onto the veranda, pretending that I didn’t overhear their heated conversation.
“Hey, honey … you were gone a while, is everything okay?” Alana asks, concerned. Ignoring the heated stare I can feel coming from Riley, I smile timidly at Alana as I take a seat and grab hold of my glass of wine, forcing myself not to down it in one as I try to make sense of the conversation I just heard.
“Yeah, I’m fine … just got a little sidetracked.”
This weekend has become a little more interesting that’s for sure; I just wish I wasn’t the center of the rift between the maid of honor and mother of the groom.
I take a long gulp of my wine, just as Jo says, “You know what we should play? Twister! It’s always more fun with a little wine in your system.”
“Oh yes!” Mia says matching Jo’s excitement. “I’m being in charge of the spin board!”
And with that, the tension at the table is diffused and we spend the next hour with our limbs spread out in the most unnatural positions.
I can hear noises. They sound like female moans coming from upstairs. I force myself up the stairs, the sounds only becoming louder and more frequent with every step I take. It sounds like someone is having sex … and it seems to be coming from my bedroom.
My heart races recklessly as I finally make it to the top step. My ears are pounding and my glands are dripping with sweat as I prepare for the scene that I pray I don’t see the moment I open the bedroom door.
Please, God … don’t let it be what I think it is. Taking a deep, calming breath, I slowly approach the bedroom door, my eyes filling up with unshed tears from the animalistic moans coming from the other side of the door, within the walls of my tranquil nirvana. The door handle rattles under my touch and after counting down to three—three times—I finally turn the handle and open the door.
The scene in front of me leaves me in a gasping state of shock.
My broken heart lays in a bloody mess beside my feet as I just stare ahead, frozen to the spot, taking in the love of my life having sex with another woman … but not just any woman … it’s Riley, his high school sweetheart.
Ashton doesn’t see me as he continues to pump in and out of her, but Riley does, and the evil smirk I see on her face tells me she’s enjoying witnessing my heartbreak as it kills me from the inside out.
My eyes shoot open, a gasp falls from my lips, and my heart is slamming inside my chest as the sinking sensation of heartbreak brings me out in chills. I sit up, running my fingers through my hair as I take in the darkness of my surroundings, trying to calm my speeding heart rate. I blink a few times through my blurred tears and I sigh a breath of relief when I realize it was just a dream. I’m still in Dallas, not at home ... it wasn’t real but fuck if it didn’t feel real.
Desperately wanting to feel Ashton’s comforting arms around me, I turn my body towards him, but frown when I see he isn’t sleeping beside me. I grab my cell phone from the side and my frown furrows deeper when I see that it’s 3:00 am.
Surely the guys must be back from the bachelor party by now?
Feeling parched, I decide to head on downstairs for a glass of water and go in search of my missing fiancé. He’s probably just passed out on the sofa or in the pool house with Tyler, but I’m struggling to shake the dream from my conscience. I need to see his beautiful face. I think it’s the only thing that will help calm me down.
I quietly make my way down the stairs, hoping not to wake anyone up. I’m in a world of my own as I turn the corner to the kitchen, but when I finally look up, my whole body freezes on the spot. My world spins on its axis as I see Ashton and Riley in a kissing embrace and the crippling heartbreak that I felt only moments ago comes back with a vengeance, but instead of it being a dream, it’s very much real. I choke on a silent sob and my bare feet stumble backwards until I’m running into the direction I just came from.
Once I reach my room, the dam finally breaks and the tears fall freely from my eyes as my heart cracks straight down the center, leaving me struggling to catch my breath.
How can this be happening to me?How could he do this to me? I finally found it, my happily ever after, and now it’s being snatched away from me by the woman I’m convinced is my karma in disguise.
Karma for what I did to Sebastian.
Karma for finally being happy.
Karma for simply existing.
Fuck. Is this what Sebastian felt when he witnessed Ashton and me kiss? The one kiss that almost ended it all for him?
As well as the pain ricocheting within every nerve of my body, a newfound hatred adds salt to the wounds, hatred for the pain I caused to the sweetest and gentlest guy you could ever meet.
I feel it; I feel the months of pain he had to endure because of my selfish decisions and I’m re-living it, his pain, his torture, his heartbreak.
I’ve always hated myself for what I did to him, but now the hatred has hit a whole new level … one that leaves me brutally raw.
I hate myself …
I fucking hate myself.
Angrily wiping away my tears as sobs wreck through me, and without switching the light on, I clumsily begin to throw my clothes into my suitcase. I struggle to see through my blurred vision and the darkness of the room, and have no idea what I’m actually throwing inside. Right now, I’m too angry to care.
I don’t bother to change out of my shorts and tank top pajamas; I’m more focused on getting the hell out of here, away from Ashton … away from Riley.