Listen, I said. You need to take a second to calm down. We’ve all been through a lot today. But whatever you’re thinking about doing, get it out of your head right now.
He took a deep breath and held the rifle closer to his chest. I know what I’m doing, he said. I know what I have to do.
Oh, really? And what do you think that is?
Isn’t it obvious? Our families have been insulted. Yours, mine, all of us. Somebody’s got to make Eric pay for what he’s done, and I’m the one to do it. And I want you to come with me. To keep a lookout.
Lookout. Jesus. You really have been watching too much Peacemaker.
Anthony took a step forward and repositioned the rifle with the barrel across his shoulder. I’ve got it all planned out, he said. We’ll wait until dark and then drive up onto his family’s property with the headlights off. Depending on how much tree cover is available, I should be able to sneak up on the house without being spotted. When Eric passes in front of his bedroom window, I’ll plug him in the back of the head. By the time his parents discover the body, we’ll already be gone.
I pressed my back against the door. The stink of dirty socks and underwear was radiating from the hamper, but it would’ve taken a lot more than that to get me to move aside. I should’ve known you’d take this badly, I said. Earlier, when we first got a look at Beth, I admit I was annoyed at you. It annoyed me that everyone else was doing their part to make her feel better and you were just standing off by yourself, not helping. But now I wish you’d go back to sulking in the corner. At least then I didn’t have to worry about you doing something crazy.
This is my way of helping Beth, he said. It’s for her sake that I’m prepared to shed blood.
No, it’s not. You just said it. You want to go off and murder Eric because you believe he insulted the family. You want to shoot him to make yourself feel better.
Anthony scowled at me with anger boiling up from behind his eyes. I’m not a kid anymore, he said. I’m a man. It’s my responsibility to protect this household. Somebody has to.
Our mothers just did what no mother should ever have to do, I said. They sold their souls to keep a shit storm from raining down on us. And now here you are, fixing to bring another storm down on top of us.
If you’re not going to help me, fine. I’ll do it on my own.
No. You won’t. You’re going to put the rifle away, and you’re going to stay clear of Eric and his family.
What’re you going to do? Pry this thing out of my hands?
No. I’ll do what you’re really afraid of. I’ll tell your mother about your plans.
Anthony blinked a few times without saying a word. Then he smiled. Go ahead, he said. I don’t give a crap if she knows.
Yes, you do. Or you wouldn’t have set me to listening for her footsteps in the hall.
The smile vanished as quick as it came. He slid the rifle off his shoulder and held it loose with the barrel dangling an inch off the floor. I trusted you to help me with this, he said. You wouldn’t really go and tattle on me like that.
The hell I wouldn’t. If you wind up arrested for murder, it won’t be long before word gets out about Elliot’s parcel fraud. Then where will we be?
I won’t get caught. I’ve got it all planned out.
You don’t even know what his family’s property is like. They’ll nab you for trespassing before you get anywhere near Eric.
He clenched his teeth and swung the rifle onto the bed. God damn it, he cried. Why are you being like this? Why are you being such a little bitch?
As he turned his face to the wall, I seized my chance and pounced on the rifle before he could get his hands on it again. I pulled back the lock to inspect the chamber. It wasn’t even loaded. Anthony paced the room with his hands balled into tight little fists. Every so often he paused to punch the air and let out a high-pitched groan. For as much as he was worried about me making noise, he didn’t seem too concerned about someone overhearing his hissy fit.
You don’t understand, he said. None of you understand a damn thing about what I’m going through. I can’t just stand by feeling helpless while that asshole gets away scot free. A man protects his own. I wouldn’t respect myself if I didn’t.
You need to quit worrying so much about how you feel about it, I said. You weren’t the one he tried to rape. You didn’t get beat up, and you didn’t have to walk home alone in the dark. If all you can think about at a time like this is how you’re going to prove yourself a man, then you’ve got the same head sickness as Eric as far as I’m concerned.
Anthony slammed his fist into the wall. From the way he winced afterward, it looked like it hurt him a lot more than it did the wall. All right, he said. What, then? What do I do to make this right? And don’t say let it go. I’ve had enough of that shit from our mothers.
No one expects you to let it go, I said. If you really want to help, you can do what you should have done from the start. You can put the rifle away and come with me to Katie’s place. You can help to make Beth feel better. That’s what she really needs right now.
He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at his sock-feet. I wouldn’t be any good over there, he said. I wouldn’t even know what to say to her.
You were ready to kill for her sake, I said. But you can’t even stand to face her. Is that what being a man means to you?
Even with Anthony acting quiet and moody, I felt a whole lot better about the situation once the rifle was back inside the duffle bag, hidden away in the closet. Anthony put his shoes on and followed me across the yard to the smaller house. There were dark clouds across the sky and in front of the sun, but still he kept his head down and eyes turned away from me as we walked. We approached the house from the front. Jennifer’s parents, Grandma Alice and Grampa Reid, were seated in canvas camping chairs positioned side by side on the porch. Before we could even begin to mount the steps, Beth came outside carrying a plate of saltine crackers and two plastic cups of wine. The bruises on her face now showed the same deep red color as the drink. She had on a pair of gray sweatpants and one of her mother’s button-up shirts, but her hair was still done up the way it had been at the dance. She glanced at us briefly, then set the refreshments on the folding table and squatted on the boards beside the old couple.
There’s lemonade in the kitchen if you guys want, she said. Mom likes to keep some on hand even on cool days.
No, thanks, I said. We’re not thirsty. We came to see how you were doing.
She turned the bruised side of her face to us and shrugged. You’re looking at it, she said.
I sat down across from her with my back against the porch railing. Anthony remained standing, leaning on the painted support column at the top of the steps, his head angled so he could only see us through the corner of his eye, if he saw us at all. Jennifer’s parents or not, we didn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing in front of Grandma Alice and Grampa Reid. Alice hadn’t spoken a word since her laryngectomy years before, and Reid’s mind was so drifty most days he could barely remember who we were. Alice reached a veiny hand out and raised the cup of wine to her lips. Her husband smacked a saltine into mush between his gums, crumbs cascading onto his face and clothes. Beth took the napkin off his lap and wiped his chin for him.
You shouldn’t have to look after them today, I said. You need to rest.
I’ve rested enough. She folded the napkin over and laid it across Grampa Reid’s thin leg. Besides, Jennifer pays me good money to take care of her folks on the weekends. She has ever since we moved in.
Can’t she get Lewis or Jewel to do it?
Beth laughed. Lewis is too busy spanking his monkey to be of help to anyone, she said. As for Jewel, she’d be happy sticking her grandparents in the ground a few years early just so another bedroom would open up. I guess Jennifer cares enough about her mom and dad not to place their wellbeing in her own kids’ hands. Anyway, she pays well, and I don’t mind it.