Kiram sat up slowly, still feeling off balance.
"So together they found some way not only to open a shajdi, but to keep it open."
"Exactly so."
"Is it always like that? I mean, for you. Is everything so-" Kiram wasn't sure of how to describe what it had felt like to have the shajdi open all around him, "-distant?"
"Nothing about the white hell is distant for me. If you had been directly exposed to it without my protection, it would have burned your senses hollow."
It sounded so dramatic that Kiram half expected Javier to be joking but his expression was serious.
"You still look a little groggy." Javier offered Kiram a cup of water and made him drink it all. A few minutes later Kiram's head began to clear.
The diary lay in its usual spot on Javier's desk. It seemed deceptively small, almost insignificant. Then Kiram's gaze fell to the dozens of hellscript markings drawn all across the floor. What larger forms lurked within those simple dark lines? Somehow he couldn't get the idea of huge sea creatures floating just beneath the ocean's surface out of his mind.
Then he realized that he was remembering an image from a Bahiim holy book that Alizadeh had read to him when he was a young child. The caption had read: A world deeper than the one we know, where great forces move beneath us like sea serpents coiling below tiny boats.
Kiram had the uneasy feeling that many of the superstitions he had summarily dismissed might be more true than he previously thought.
"Feeling better?" Javier seated himself on the bed beside him.
"I wasn't expecting the shajdi to be like that." Kiram noticed his notes lying on his desk and then remembered that he still had a page of equations to go over. The thought was relievingly mundane. Everything was just as it had been. "I'm fine, actually."
"Good." Javier moved closer so that his mouth almost brushed Kiram's lips. "Because I would hate to take advantage of you when you were feeling weak, but you still owe me something."
Kiram opened his mouth but he knew that there was no point in arguing; he had set his own price for seeing the diary. And it was only one kiss, after all.
He started to lean forward to kiss Javier's lips but Javier drew back.
"I haven't decided yet just where it is I want to kiss you," Javier said. He gently pushed Kiram back down onto the bed. "I want to see what my options are."
"That wasn't what I meant," Kiram protested. Javier placed his finger against Kiram's lips and gazed down at him with a strange intensity.
"When you deal with a Hellion you should know that he'll hold you to your word, no matter what you intended." As much as it embarrassed Kiram, he couldn't think of anything but the sensation of Javier's touch.
"I'm going to take the kiss you promised me," Javier whispered over him. "There's no point in fighting me about it."
Kiram closed his eyes. He could only hope to maintain his dignity, to keep from giving Javier a reaction that he could laugh at and taunt him with. He tried to imagine that this was just another day of battle practice, when Javier's body pressed close against his own, when Javier's warm hands touched his bare skin. But Javier never would have lingered so long or caressed him so gently in battle practice.
Javier's fingers traced the curve of Kiram's lip and then dropped to the base of Kiram's throat. He unbuttoned Kiram's shirt to expose his chest and abdomen.
Kiram shivered as Javier stroked the muscles of his bare shoulders and then brushed his fingers over Kiram's nipples. He hated Javier for dragging this out and at the same time his body ached to feel more than just the gliding hints of Javier's fingertips.
Javier stroked the flat plane of Kiram's stomach. He tugged the loose waist of Kiram's pants farther down, exposing his hips. The feeling of Javier's warm breath so near his groin sent a hot ache through Kiram. He folded his arms over his face in humiliation.
"Don't do that." Javier pulled Kiram's arms aside. "Look at me."
Kiram opened his eyes, expecting to see Javier gloating over him. Instead Javier's expression was gentle and strangely serious. He bowed down and kissed his lips.
His mouth was hot and pungent with the tastes of cardamom tea and honey. Kiram opened his lips to the pressure of Javier's tongue. His entire body responded to the sensation as Javier thrust into his mouth. Kiram curled his hands through Javier's thick black hair and pulled him closer.
He felt Javier's thigh between his legs, and the intense heat of Javier's groin against his own hip. Kiram wanted desperately to arch up against him. But the slightest sliver of common sense fought against the idea. He had promised one kiss and was giving much, much more.
Kiram shoved Javier back, harder than he intended. Javier almost fell off the bed but caught himself. He looked momentarily stunned and then he took in Kiram's expression and laughed.
"Don't glare at me. I'm not the one who interrupted your pleasure."
"We agreed to one kiss. That was all." Kiram pulled his legs up, though he was sure Javier knew just how aroused the kiss had made him.
"That was all for a page of the diary." Javier wrapped his hand around Kiram's bare ankle and slowly slid his palm up along the inside of Kiram's thigh. "But we could have a little more for ourselves, don't you think?"
"No." Kiram pried Javier's hand off his leg.
"And why not?" Javier demanded. He was still smiling but his voice had an angry edge. "You think I can't see that you want me? Every inch of you is up for me."
"Whether I'm aroused or not is none of your business, Javier." Kiram tried to sound firm despite his embarrassment. "I'm not a toy for you to play with and I'm not one of the whores at the Goldenrod whose body you can buy with a few pennies."
"No, you charge much more and put out far less." White sparks jumped across Javier's left hand but Kiram refused to be intimidated.
"I gave you exactly what we agreed upon." Kiram returned Javier's hard stare. "In fact, I gave you better than you gave me. You know I'm not going to dishonor Yassin's name by writing about what you showed me."
"Oh, I see. So, you won't spread your legs unless I can give you something that will get you a better grade."
"No! You are not going to pretend that I'm just a greedy whore." Kiram was shocked at his own anger. "That is not why I stopped."
"No, I'm sure it wasn't the only reason." Javier suddenly stood and glared down at Kiram. "You like to pretend that you aren't afraid of what I am but when it comes down to it, you're as much of a coward as Holy Father Habalan."
"Are you some kind of moron? I'm not afraid of your twinkly little sparks of hellfire!" Kiram was rewarded with a look of surprise from Javier. He took advantage of it to get to his feet. He met Javier's glower with his own unflinching stare. "You want to know what scares me? It's your shallow- minded Cadeleonian law and your bigoted Cadeleonian church. You like to pretend that they don't mean anything to you but you still go to penance every single day." Kiram jabbed Javier in the chest with his forefinger. "I may find you handsome and I may enjoy your touch but that doesn't mean that I want to be lashed or imprisoned for corrupting you with my Haldiim ways. And you know I'm the one who will be blamed if we're caught. No one is going to accuse you. You're the Duke of Rauma. So, yes, I am scared. But I have every reason to be scared and I have every right to refuse you."
Kiram felt suddenly exhausted as if he had expelled all his strength and fury with those last words.
Javier stood where he was, his expression drained of anger. He studied Kiram as if he had somehow become a new person.
"You've got quite a temper," Javier said at last.
"You aren't exactly sedate yourself."
"I know. I'm too used to getting my way." Javier shrugged. "Not many people are willing to refuse the Duke of Rauma, you know."