"From himself," Javier replied. "That's cold comfort."
Kiram could only remember Fedeles, stricken and terrified, on the floor of his work shed. Even his ruined engine seemed unimportant now. "Is he all right?"
"Is he all right?" Javier sounded annoyed. "He's better than you were when I found you. But yes, Fedeles is fine. He's with Scholar Donamillo, resting."
"Does everyone at the academy know what happened?" Kiram asked.
"Yes and no. They know that someone broke into your work shed and destroyed your project. There was blood and your tracks led out into the orchard at a full run."
As they neared the stables Kiram saw several men step out from the shelter of the doorway holding up lamps. Among the grooms stood Master Ignacio. He scowled at Kiram and deep shadows filled the weathered lines of his lean face.
"Are you going to tell them who it was?" Javier asked in a whisper. Kiram could feel the tension in his body, though his voice remained soft.
"I won't."
"Thank you," Javier replied.
A moment later grooms surrounded them. A young groom helped to steady Kiram as he staggered down from Lunaluz. Javier dismounted quickly and went to speak with Master Ignacio. The rest of the Hellions reached the stable and handed their horses over to grooms. As soon as he dismounted, Nestor rushed to Kiram.
"Are you all right?" Worry transformed his soft features into an almost parental countenance. "You looked dead when we found you in the snow. What happened?"
"I…There was an animal in my work shed." Kiram tried to think desperately. "A bear, I think. When I surprised it, it chased me through the orchard and then I got lost."
"A bear?" Nestor looked a little shocked. "You outran a bear?"
"Maybe it was something else? I didn't see it too clearly in the dark." Kiram knew nothing of bears or really any of the wildlife of these northern lands.
"That's amazing, Kiram!" Nestor clearly liked the idea of the attacker being a bear. "Did you hear that, Elezar? Kiram outdistanced a bear."
"A raccoon more likely." Elezar knocked the snow off his boots.
"Certainly not," Nestor retorted. "Did you see what it did to Kiram's mechanism? It was in pieces! That was no raccoon. It was definitely a bear."
Elezar briefly frowned at Kiram before his expression softened in a manner that Kiram rarely saw, and certainly had never seen directed at himself. He looked sincerely kind and it brought a handsome quality to his harsh features.
"You're lucky to still be among the living then, Kiram." Ele- zar patted his back lightly. "Next time, though, don't be a cunt and run silently into the woods. You should have screamed your fucking-"
"Language, Elezar." Master Ignacio strode towards them. Javier walked a step behind the war master, his eyes fixed on Kiram with such intensity that Kiram felt his face flushing.
"Pardon, Master," Elezar said quickly then he returned his attention to Kiram. "You should have called for help."
"I will next time."
"There won't be a next time." Javier stopped directly beside Kiram. "This isn't going to happen again."
"The groundsmen will set traps tomorrow morning," Master Ignacio said. "If the creature returns, we'll have it. In the meantime, you will all keep your rides to the roads and the stable grounds."
The Hellions all agreed and then bid the war master goodnight. An air of boisterous relief suffused them as they ascended the stairs to their rooms. Atreau teased Kiram and Morisio playfully declared that the bear was some jealous rival mechanist in a fur coat. They laughed and reminded each other about the crow that Javier had picked out from the pitch black sky and followed to Kiram's body.
"It probably thought Kiram was carrion," Genimo said.
"He would have been if we hadn't gotten there when we did," another Hellion commented and then he gave Kiram a wide grin. All of them basked in the glory of their rescue, except Javier, who had gone unusually quiet.
On the way up, Kiram spotted more than one student peeking out of a doorway to spy on the returning Hellions. By morning everyone in the entire academy would probably know the story and Kiram would have to try and describe some encounter with a bear. He tried to think of anything he'd read about the beasts. He recalled some mention of their strong musky odor and the fact that they often rose up onto their hind legs and walked like men. He hoped that would be enough to satisfy the curiosity of his classmates.
Once he and Javier climbed the last flight of stairs to their shared room, Kiram shed his filthy coat and stripped off his jacket and shirt. He needed a bath, badly. Javier threw his own coat over his chair. He studied Kiram's bare chest, then stepped closer and caught Kiram's shoulders in a firm grip. "From now on I am going with you when you go to that work shed."
"You'll be bored out of your mind, hanging around in there. And anyway I'm sure this won't happen.." Kiram trailed off as he realized that he had no reason to assume that the shadow curse would not attack him again if he were to repair the steam engine. The idea suddenly terrified him and for one cowardly moment he considered giving up the engine up altogether.
Was he really willing to risk his life-to face that terrible, killing darkness-just for the sake of two Cadeleonian noblemen?
He only had to glance to Javier to know his answer. He couldn't give up. Though he harbored no hope that he and Javier could share their lives as lovers, he wouldn't allow his friends to fall to that curse. Now that he had felt it-seen it tearing through living flesh-he couldn't abandon Javier to it and still think himself a decent man.
"I won't let you be alone down there. You were nearly dead when I found you. You were like ice in my arms." Suddenly he pulled Kiram close. They embraced fiercely, clutching one another. Kiram dug his hands into Javier's shirt and pressed himself so close that he could feel Javier's heart beating against his own chest. Javier whispered, "Don't go without me."
"I won't. I promise" Kiram felt the desperate tension drain from Javier's grip. His hands moved slowly up and down Kiram's back and he, too, relaxed. He would never have thought he could take so much comfort in such a simple touch. Kiram rested his head against Javier's shoulder, closed his eyes, and allowed himself to forget everything but the warmth of Javier's skin, the comfort of his touch.
Kiram didn't want to deny himself this contentment any longer. He wanted Javier and it didn't matter if he would later suffer for it.
Kiram lifted his head to speak but then caught sight of the red stain his brow had left on Javier's white shirt. His face had to be a mess. A quick glance at his hands assured him that they were still spattered with blood and gore. Mortification flooded Kiram.
"I have to take a bath."
Javier didn't release him, but drew back just enough to search Kiram's face. Immediately, Kiram felt a difference in Javier's stance. In an almost formal motion, Javier straightened and stepped back. "Will you need help tending your leg?"
"No, I think I'll be fine." Kiram tried to convey some of his warmth in his voice but Javier didn't seem to notice. He sat on the edge of his bed and unlaced his riding boots. Kiram felt dismayed by how easily he'd given up. He seemed so tired, almost beaten down, as he tossed his boots aside.
Javier said, "You aren't getting any cleaner standing there, are you?"
Kiram withdrew to the bath.
He washed quickly, pausing briefly to inspect the thin gash beneath the bandages engulfing his calf. He favored his left shoulder but didn't linger on it. Instead he focused on Javier. The sensation of Javier's hands on his skin, as well as the pleasure and calm he'd felt leaning into Javier's shoulder, played again and again in his mind. He held it up against the fear he'd felt earlier and allowed it to build until only longing remained with him.