Gallen studied Orick, perplexed. “I … I’ll consider what you’ve said.”
Gallen reached down absently and ruffled Tallea’s fur, patting her snout. He was lost in thought as he stalked off back into the ship, his black robes flowing out behind him, his head bent. The doors to the ship closed off quickly as he entered, swallowing him.
Tallea watched him leave, then grumbled, “I wish he wouldn’t do that!”
“Do what?” Orick asked.
“Pat my nose like I was some damned hunting hound!”
Orick stared at her, his mouth opened in surprise. He always liked it when humans patted his snout or scratched behind his ear.
“I was a grown woman, swinging a sword in battle, before he ever got out of diapers!” Tallea said, then she growled in disgust, a throaty rumble.
“Gallen’s a good lad. It’s not disrespect he’s showing you,” Orick apologized.
Tallea shook her dark head, wagging it broadly from side to side, and she was so angry that tears formed in her eyes. She turned and began heading into the ship.
“Really,” Orick said, “he’s just being affectionate!”
“Well maybe I don’t want his affection!” Tallea said, turning on him so fast that Orick thought she’d bite him.
“Halloo there,” Orick said. “You don’t have to act like you’ve got a tick on your butt. What’s eating you?”
“What’s eating me?” Tallea asked. “Nothing-Everything!”
“Everything? Really? Everything?” Orick said. It was true that they didn’t have a home, that the dronon were chasing them, that they were camped for the night on an alien world filled with monsters. But far from everything was wrong. At least they were alive.
“You-this is not what I had planned …” Tallea said in exasperation. “I didn’t come here to be patted like a dog, and have people making fun of my clumsiness!”
She spun and bolted for the ship; the door hardly had time to whisk open before she reached it. Orick hurried after her, unsure why she’d broken into tears.
Tallea ran into her stateroom, jumped up on the bed. The door to her room began to slide closed in front of Orick’s nose. Tallea shouted, “Lock!” but Orick leapt through before the door shut. The lock snicked into place behind him.
Tallea made whining noises, little barks, as bears will when they cry, and she turned her back.
“Well now,” Orick said, climbing up on the bed, nuzzling her ear with his snout. He licked it just a bit. “Sure, it must be hard to go from being human to being a bear, but you always struck me as a woman who was mostly gristle and sinew. All good things have their price. At least you’re not one of those funny-looking human varmints without any hair anymore …” He hoped she’d laugh, but Tallea just sniffled.
Orick let the silence stretch uncomfortably, until at last Tallea said, “Did I make a mistake, Orick?”
“A mistake? How could it be wrong for a human to finally get a pelt like the rest of the mammals?”
Tallea snickered, turned her brown eyes to him. There were tears in them. “Did I misunderstand something, Orick? I thought you loved me.”
“Well … I do!” Orick protested. “How could I not love you?”
“I thought you would love me-in the same way a man loves his wife.” The sentence was clipped, the words uninflected, yet Orick knew there was a depth of emotion hidden beneath those words. He licked her ears gently with his broad tongue.
“Is it a formal proposal of marriage you’re wanting?” Orick asked. He knew she did. It wasn’t decent to keep a woman waiting-especially when it was obvious she loved him, that she’d chosen to live as a bear solely so they could be together. It was a strange alliance they had formed on Tremonthin-the Caldurian warrior and the bear, fighting in the caverns beneath the Hollow Hills. By nature Caldurians bonded to those they protected, and that bonding was arguably a form of love. But Orick had never imagined she would bond to him, nor that after she gave her life in his service, she would ask the Lords of Tremonthin to place her memories into the flesh of a bear. Such a sacrifice.
Orick had always wished to find a she-bear who would love him as truly as he could love her-a she-bear whose affections would remain steady even after she was no longer in heat. Tallea had asked the Lords of Tremonthin to tailor her body so she could fulfill Orick’s dream.
The thing is, that while Orick had always dreamed of love, he didn’t quite know how to manage the little things-like how to talk about all the important things he and Tallea needed to discuss.
Tallea sighed. “I don’t need a marriage proposal. By becoming a bear, I think I’ve already made the proposal myself. l just need to know if you accept me.”
Orick’s heart pounded. This was the moment he’d feared. He didn’t quite know how to tell her that he’d long considered a career in the priesthood, that her show of devotion was both totally unexpected and somewhat troubling. “I care for you …” he tried to ease into the topic.
“If you love me, then why don’t you make love to me?” Tallea said. “I’ve been a bear for months!”
Orick gaped in surprise, then sniffed the air. “You … are you in heat?” he gawked, wondering if his nose was plugged.
“No!” Tallea said, perhaps even more shocked than Orick. “Is that what you’ve been waiting for?”
“You mean-you would do it even when you’re not in heat?” Orick shouted. He’d never heard such an outrageous proposal, never even considered the possibility. Sure, humans did it that way, but they were an aberration in the animal kingdom. Right-thinking bears would never-
“Yes,” Tallea said, turning suddenly to face him full. “Yes, please, yes! Take me now!” she growled with such desire in that throaty rumbling that Orick could hardly imagine it.
“But … but I’ve taken a vow of chastity!” Orick said, blurting the first objection that came to mind. It was true. Though he’d never made the vow to proper priesthood authorities, he had indeed made that vow to God in his heart.
Tallea cried, “Why would you do a stupid thing like that?”
“I promised myself to God’s service,” Orick said. “Never thinking-I mean it was before I met you.”
Orick looked at the poor she-bear. If he kept to this course, it would prove a tragedy for Tallea of epic consequences. He didn’t want to hurt her, but for now, he was still unresolved as to his course of action. He wanted to serve God, but to be truthful, in the past he had found that when a she-bear was in heat, the temptation had been more than he could easily endure. He wasn’t good at maintaining his vow of chastity, but with each successive failure, he became more determined to keep to it.
“So you can’t serve God and me?” Tallea asked.
“No man can serve two masters,” Orick said, and then suddenly realized that she would not understand the allusion. Tallea was a heathen who’d never heard of Christ or his gospel. “The Son of God said that.”
Tallea studied him. “He was right. Every Caldurian warrior knows that he or she can only be bound to one master.” Tallea considered his words. “So you’ve decided? You will not bind yourself to me?”
Orick had seldom found himself wedged into so tight a crevice. If he told her that he was undecided, that during every passing hour of the past few months that question had been foremost in his mind, yet he was still vacillating, then he might find himself voicing words that would only give her unrealistic hopes. At the same time, it would be equally unfair to the both of them if he told her that he had decided against her. For it was untrue. “Give me some time. I love you as a friend already, a true friend. But you chose me without warning. This all came so suddenly.”
“I see.” The warmth had all gone from her voice. After a long moment, she whispered, “Orick, as far as bears go, am I attractive?”
Orick looked into her eyes, which sparkled under the ship’s lights. Her fur was dark and glossy, her nails long and black. She was, in fact, one of the most beautiful she-bears he’d ever met, and once she went into heat, Orick imagined that every bear on Tihrglas would fight for the chance to be her mate. What she did not know was that as a juvenile, those looks did not matter. It was scent that excited Orick, not her lusty appearance.