I dump the sack in the bed of my truck and try to ignore the ache in my chest that’s clawing to get out of the compartment I’ve somehow managed to shove it into. This is it. Once this is gone, it will be like she was never here. I absently pound my fist against the tailgate and turn to go back into the house when a hot pink blur catches my eye.
“Hi! I’m Cassidy. I live right across the street.” My eyes stop on a woman with jet black hair, and exotic almond shaped eyes. She twists slightly, pointing to the house that I know she lives in; it’s the same one Kendall still sneers at. “Are you moving?”
I shake my head once and watch as a palpable relief washes over her, alerting me to her inviting smile and tiny sundress.
“You’re Max, right?”
I can do this. I know this. I smile and nod as I extend my hand to her, earning a giggle, as she slinks her small hand into mine. It’s cold and limp, reminding me of a dead fish.
“It’s nice to meet you, Cassidy. I’m just getting rid of some old things, that’s all.”
She giggles again in response, and I slowly release her hand.
“Would you mind coming to look at something for me? Our fridge has been making this god-awful sound, and I’m worried about it.”
“Sure.” I know nothing about refrigerators, but I’m fairly confident she doesn’t give a shit about her fridge, or would even know if it was making a god-awful noise.
I go. I need to further erase her.
I don’t know if I don’t want to, or can’t, but I don’t get any further than making out with Cassidy. She doesn’t seem all that upset as she gives me a promising smile before I leave her bedroom and head back down the stairs, feeling like I just got knocked on my ass. I have no idea what’s wrong with me.
As I reach the bottom of the stairs, a girl comes in the front door looking startled to find me, and then her mouth drops in a frown.
“I thought you guys were better than that.” Her words surprise me.
“Better than what?”
“Your girlfriend seemed really nice. I didn’t know her, but I had a class with her. She was smart. She was classy. She wasn’t an easy lay. That said something about you. It made you crazy hot to be a guy that didn’t just shop around for ass.”
“You have no idea who I am, sweetheart.”
“And now I have no desire to.”
I’ve heard a lot worse comments in my life, but this one serves as a vicious reminder of who I was before her. It doesn’t matter what Kendall said, I was better because of her, without her, I’m not that person. It’s not a choice. I just am not.
The following week, my phone wakes me up. It’s three in the afternoon. How in the hell has life turned into taking afternoon naps? I roll over to grab it and feel every muscle in my body tense when I see the screen and read: Ace Home. The small light is reignited as I sit up and swipe to accept the call.
“Hello?”
“Sorry, Max. It’s just me … Muriel.”
My shoulders slump. Was I that obvious? I stay silent, waiting for her to continue.
“I was actually calling to see if you would be interested in something …” My forehead scrunches as I try to anticipate what she’s going to ask. “I need to find a new home for Zeus. I know that, well, I understand your separation from all of us. However, I know you were really close to him, and I wanted to check with you first.”
Mental images fly through my head, not only of Zeus but of Ace, and David, and Kyle, and the rest of the family that I haven’t seen over the past few months. She’s getting rid of him? Ace would be devastated to learn this.
“Max?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll take him,” I instantly reply. “I’ll take him.” I repeat, nodding a couple of times before I stop, realizing she can’t see me. We make plans to meet the following day before we both hang up.
I turn into the parking lot Muriel and I arranged to meet at, and see the familiar blue SUV. I pull up beside it and watch as Muriel steps out.
“Max. It’s so good to see you,” she greets me and I notice her smile is different. It looks forced.
I nod to her in greeting, ignoring the fact that her eyes are intensely searching my face.
“You got a truck.” I hear the hint of a question as her tone rises, and I silently nod once again.
“It looks good. You look good.”
An awkward silence passes over us. I can feel her silent questions. I know that none of the girls have been receptive to Steven, or her relationship with him, and have all pulled away. They no longer flock there every Sunday; rather they call one another more frequently and make efforts to see each other every couple of weeks. It’s become one of my top reasons for hating Kendall living with us.
Either she realizes I’m not in the mood to neither reminisce nor discuss the current turmoil that her family’s experiencing, or she knows it’s not a safe topic of conversation and pulls open the back of the SUV, exposing Zeus.
His head perks up as he sees me, and his mouth drops open. He scurries to jump out and greet me.
“Hey, boy,” I say, rubbing the top of his head. His large body leans against me as he pants.
“This is the happiest I’ve seen him in months,” Muriel says quietly, handing me a bag. I glance in as I accept it, and notice toys and other Zeus paraphernalia. “His water and food bowls are in there. He hasn’t been eating very well. There are some treats and his brush, along with some other things.”
“Are you sure?”
“Steven’s allergic.” Her voice is barely audible, like she either fears my reaction or is embarrassed by the fact this is her motivation.
I scratch my head, trying to understand this woman; she’s giving me the last remaining member of her family for some replacement figure. I shake my head and look down at Zeus, noticing that he looks visibly thinner.
“She’d want you to have him. Maybe you guys can bring comfort to one another,” she adds as I turn to place the bag in the cab of my truck. “He misses her a lot too.”
“I’m not doing this for her,” I state, and then pat my thigh twice to get Zeus’s attention. He looks at me, and then turns his head to look at Muriel before he stands and trots over to me.
I hear her say a quiet goodbye that I don’t reciprocate as I close my door. The engine roars to life, and I head back home with Zeus beside me.
“Zeus?” Landon questions as Zeus lumbers inside without hesitation when I open the front door. I feel Landon’s eyes on me and look up to see him and Wes engaged in a game of pool, both looking at me with shocked expressions.
“Muriel was going to get rid of him,” I start to explain, hoping they don’t try to turn this into a big deal.
“He’s a super chill dog,” Wes says, reaching out to scratch him. “Welcome to the pad, big man.”
“What are you doing for Halloween?” Wes asks as he sets his weights back on the lip of the machine.
My eyes cut to him as I lift the deadweight bar and briefly lock my elbows.
“I don’t know, probably nothing.”
“Why don’t you come to Andy’s with me? We’ll get hammered and make Landon come pick us up.”
I laugh as I bring the weight to my chest again. This has become an all too familiar routine for us lately. We head to a bar or a club and ignore the fact that every blond head makes my head turn out of habit, which leads me to drink until the thoughts dull, along with my coordination.