Rootpaw wanted to disagree, to come up with a good argument to prove to Tree that he was wrong, but he couldn’t find the words. He couldn’t trust himself not to blurt out all his frustration with his father.
If you don’t believe in the way of the Clans, why do you stay? Why have you stayed so long, for so many moons, in a place where you clearly don’t belong? Where you don’t even try to belong?
His father didn’t have any quarrels to mediate right now, and Rootpaw didn’t understand why Tree refused to get involved in the daily life of the Clan—why he had to be aloof, always separate from the other cats.
He tells me to be my own cat, but here he is, living under rules he doesn’t believe in. Which of us is being more true to himself?
A heavy sense of guilt gathered in Rootpaw’s chest.
I know it’s wrong, but sometimes I wish I had a different cat for a father.
Rootpaw woke to find himself alone in the apprentices’ den, though a faint warmth still lingered in his sister’s nest, next to his own. Alarm pierced him, cold as the leaf-bare wind, and he scrambled out through the rocks without pausing to yawn and stretch. Spotting his mentor at the other side of the camp, he bounded over to join him.
“Am I late?” he gasped, seeing the annoyed look on Dewspring’s broad gray face. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re not late,” Dewspring responded, though the tip of his tail was still twitching to and fro. “We’ve missed a lot of training time while you were in ThunderClan, that’s all.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to starting again now,” Rootpaw mewed with a respectful dip of his head.
Dewspring’s only reply was a grunt. He angled his ears toward the Tallrock, where Kitepaw and Turtlepaw were standing with bowed heads in front of Leafstar and Hawkwing. Rootpaw was too far away to hear what Leafstar was saying, but from her cold expression and bristling fur, he doubted that it was anything the two older apprentices wanted to hear.
“They’re being punished for their part in putting you in danger,” Dewspring explained. “Leafstar said she would wait until you returned to decide on a suitable punishment.”
“That hardly seems fair,” Rootpaw objected. “It was my fault too.”
Dewspring shrugged. “They’re older than you; they should have known better. Mind you,” he added, “I’m disappointed in you, Rootpaw. I thought you were smarter than that. You shouldn’t have gone along with them in the first place.”
“Sorry,” Rootpaw muttered.
“We’ll say no more about it,” Dewspring meowed. “Now, let’s get on with your training.”
Rootpaw had hoped that now that he was home, he would be able to forget his accident by the lake. But as he returned to camp after his battle training with Dewspring, he couldn’t be pleased with himself. He had felt sluggish; he was sure his limbs and his tail weren’t moving as smoothly as Dewspring expected.
Maybe I should have stayed longer in ThunderClan.
The thought made Rootpaw’s pads tingle with fury, that Tree had come to collect him before he was ready. Then his anger was driven out by embarrassment as he wondered if he was so keen to be near Bristlepaw that he would prefer to be injured.
That’s pretty mouse-brained!
When Rootpaw brushed through the narrow gap between two huge boulders that formed the camp entrance, the first cats he spotted were Turtlepaw and Kitepaw. They were heading right toward him. He halted, instinctively sliding out his claws.
“Hi,” he mewed, trying not to sound as nervous as he felt.
Kitepaw gave him a curt nod.
An awkward silence followed. Rootpaw wanted to get away from the older apprentices, but at the same time he felt he couldn’t just walk off without saying anything. Clearing his throat, which suddenly felt dry, he asked, “How did your punishment go? I hope it wasn’t too terrible.”
Kitepaw turned away from him with a hiss, as if he was too angry to speak. It was Turtlepaw who replied.
“My paws are so cold I can’t even feel them! Leafstar made us go to the dirtplace and claw at the soil to make sure it’s soft enough for any cat who wants to make dirt. It was disgusting!”
“I’m really sorry,” Rootpaw meowed. “I didn’t—”
“Only a foolish cat would fall into the lake like you did,” Kitepaw interrupted. “But then, you’re the son of the weirdest cat in the Clans, so it’s no surprise that you’re just that mouse-brained.” He jerked his head at Turtlepaw. “Come on. Let’s go hunt.”
Rootpaw watched as the two cats stalked off among the boulders. His pelt was hot with anger and embarrassment as he headed for the fresh-kill pile. Needlepaw was there, gulping down a thrush; she paused and looked up at Rootpaw as he approached.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
“Nothing!” Rootpaw snarled, pulling a shrew out of the pile.
Needlepaw’s ears angled upward in surprise. “Who made dirt in your fresh-kill?” she asked. “Whatever, don’t take it out on me.”
“I’m sorry.” Rootpaw sagged to the ground. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh, come on. . . .” Needlepaw shifted closer to her brother and rubbed her cheek against his. “You can tell me.”
Rootpaw scuffled his forepaws on the ground. “It’s just . . . ,” he began reluctantly, then went on more quickly. “I just . . . I wish cats would take me a bit more seriously, that’s all. Because our father’s not a warrior or a medicine cat, just some weirdo who talks to dead cats—”
“And the mediator for all five Clans,” Needlepaw reminded him. “That’s important.”
“Except there’s been nothing to mediate lately,” Rootpaw continued. “And the Clans have never had a mediator before. It’s just one more way that Tree doesn’t fit into regular Clan life, and another reason the other apprentices don’t see us as true members of SkyClan.”
“Now, that is mouse-brained,” his sister meowed. “Why would they think that?”
“I can sort of understand it,” Rootpaw responded. “When Tree is settling disputes, he’s supposed to be impartial, and that means sometimes he’ll rule against SkyClan.” He paused, lashing his tail, then went on, “It’s so frustrating! If other cats feel our father isn’t a real Clan cat, it means I have to work twice as hard to convince them that I’m a loyal member of SkyClan. That’s what set me off before, charging at Kitepaw and Turtlepaw.”
Needlepaw twitched her whiskers. “I have the same father,” she pointed out coolly. “But I just tell the other apprentices to keep their paws out of my business, and they leave me alone. They only tease you because you let them see it bothers you.”
“I know, but—”
“You should try not to worry what your Clanmates think,” Needlepaw interrupted. “If you’re true to yourself, you’ll prove them all wrong.” She gave Rootpaw’s ear a lick, her voice growing warm and affectionate. “I’m sure of it.”
Rootpaw heaved a deep sigh. “I guess you’re right.”
But even while he admitted that Needlepaw was making sense, he knew that if the two older apprentices went on mocking him, he was likely to lose his temper again.
I can’t help it. I know that Tree is a bit weird, and I don’t want to stick out so much like him. Whatever I have to do, I’m going to prove that I belong in SkyClan, and I’ll be a strong warrior, through and through!
Chapter 6
Near the entrance to the stone hollow, Bristlepaw waited for her mentor to appear from the warriors’ den. She felt as if a whole colony of bees were buzzing around in her belly, and it was hard for her to stand firmly on all four paws and not start shaking with anticipation.