“Nothing,” Shadowpaw protested, but he sensed Jayfeather glaring at him and found it hard to meet that pale, sightless gaze. Jayfeather might be blind, but he still saw things that other cats didn’t.
But Shadowpaw wasn’t ready to tell the other medicine cats about what had happened. He still didn’t know himself what it meant. He clamped his jaws shut and turned his head away to avoid Jayfeather’s gaze.
“I think we should follow Frecklewish’s advice for now,” Mothwing meowed, changing the subject briskly. “We can’t rush StarClan, and we should stay alert for any signs they see fit to send us. And I also suggest that we say nothing more to our Clan leaders. We don’t want to panic the Clans. We must focus on getting through this difficult time together.”
Frecklewish and Willowshine purred their agreement, though there were grunts of annoyance from Jayfeather and Kestrelflight.
“And if they ask?” Kestrelflight prodded. “Do you expect me to lie to Harestar?”
Mothwing lashed her tail. “You can answer honestly without making it seem like a crisis. Tell them that StarClan hasn’t said anything specific, or particularly helpful. That won’t seem unusual.”
Kestrelflight hissed. “Of course you’d say that.”
“If you ask me,” Jayfeather meowed, raising his voice above the others’, “this is a crisis. And we should be preparing our Clans for life without StarClan—whatever that means.”
Gasps of horror came from the other medicine cats. Their eyes were wide and shocked, as if the terrible future Jayfeather suggested had never occurred to them.
“No cat did ask you,” Willowshine retorted tartly. “That’s giving in far too soon.”
“StarClan can’t have abandoned us for good,” Frecklewish insisted.
“That’s right,” Kestrelflight agreed, even though his fur was bristling with apprehension. “Once the ice melts, everything will go back to normal.”
Jayfeather made no response, though his sightless eyes glared a challenge. The other medicine cats’ objections soon faltered into silence; the thought of life without StarClan was enough to quiet them. Without any formal ending to the meeting they began to pad slowly up the spiral path, their heads and tails drooping in dejection. Once they were out of the hollow, they split up to return to their Clans with only a brief good-bye.
Shadowpaw and Puddleshine plodded back to ShadowClan territory in uneasy silence. Shadowpaw sensed that his mentor was open to listening to him, but he didn’t ask any questions, and Shadowpaw didn’t want to tell him anything.
When they had made their way through the brambles and into the ShadowClan camp, Puddleshine began leading the way to their den, but Shadowpaw halted.
“I want to speak to Tigerstar,” he mewed.
Puddleshine turned back to him, his expression disapproving. “We all agreed not to panic the Clans,” he warned his apprentice. “What are you going to tell our leader?”
“It’s not about that,” Shadowpaw replied. “I just want to see my father.”
Puddleshine hesitated, then gave a brusque nod. “Remember what Mothwing said. Be careful what you say,” he meowed, and continued to his den.
Shadowpaw padded across the camp until he reached the Clan leader’s den beneath the low-growing branches of a pine tree. Tigerstar was there, curled up with Dovewing in a nest of bracken and pine needles. For a moment Shadowpaw didn’t want to wake them; then, gathering his courage, he stepped forward and shook his father’s shoulder with one forepaw.
Tigerstar raised his head, blinking drowsily. “Shadowpaw? What is it?” He kept his voice low so as not to wake Dovewing, who was still deeply asleep. “Shouldn’t you be at the half-moon meeting with the other medicine cats?”
“I just got back.” Shadowpaw paused, reluctant to go on. But I have to, he thought. If I can’t tell my father, which cat can I tell?
Tigerstar moved up and made a space in his nest for Shadowpaw to curl up beside him. “Come on, spit it out,” he mewed, giving his son’s ear an affectionate lick.
“When I was at the Moonpool, I had a vision,” Shadowpaw began hesitantly. “I saw images of lots of different cats, and I heard a voice that said they were codebreakers. It said that because of them, all the Clans would have to suffer. And—and the last cat I saw was . . .” His voice trailed off and he glanced toward his mother.
Shadowpaw felt his belly churning as he finished speaking and tore his gaze away from Dovewing to look up at his father. Tigerstar was staring at nothing, as if he was too stunned to speak.
“Is it true?” Shadowpaw asked after a few moments. “Is she a codebreaker?”
Tigerstar turned his head to gaze at the sleeping Dovewing. “In a way, yes,” he replied. “But if your mother is a codebreaker, then so am I. And I can’t believe that all codebreakers are evil. Sometimes a cat might have good reasons for breaking the warrior code.”
“What were your reasons?” Shadowpaw mewed diffidently, afraid that his father would be angry with him for asking such a personal question.
Tigerstar remained calm, his eyes warm as he gazed at his son. “You know that your mother and I came from different Clans, and so we never should have become mates. Dovewing’s sister, Ivypool, was against it from the beginning. But we each knew there could be no other cat for us.”
“So is that why you went to the big Twolegplace, where I was born?” Shadowpaw asked.
Tigerstar nodded. “And when we came back, along with you and your littermates, every cat could see that we loved each other. Well, it took some of them a long time to accept it. The real breaking of the code was when Dovewing left ThunderClan and came to live in ShadowClan to be with me.”
Shadowpaw thought about that for a few heartbeats. “At the time, didn’t any of the medicine cats get a message from StarClan about you?” he asked eventually.
“Not a word,” his father told him with a sigh. “Not until now. If what we did is so terrible, surely they would have said something at the start?”
“I don’t know,” Shadowpaw responded. It felt weird to be advising his father and his Clan leader as if he were a full medicine cat. “This is still new to me. I’m trying to understand StarClan’s ways.”
Tigerstar blinked thoughtfully. “Have you told this to Puddleshine?” he asked. “Or any other cat?”
“No.”
“Good.” Tigerstar gave another look, full of love and concern, at Dovewing’s sleeping form. “If there’s any chance that this vision would put Dovewing in danger, you must keep it to yourself.”
Shadowpaw wasn’t sure how he felt about that. It seemed to go against everything he had learned about what it meant to be a medicine cat. And if he didn’t tell any cat about his vision, it might put the Clans at risk from the codebreakers.
But StarClan must be mistaken if they think Dovewing is evil, he told himself. Or maybe I misunderstood the message.
“Shadowpaw?” his father prompted him gently.
Shadowpaw heaved a deep sigh. “I won’t tell any cat,” he promised.
Reluctantly, he hauled himself out of Tigerstar’s nest, dipped his head respectfully, and headed toward his own den. But he felt that it would be just as hard to sleep as it was to make contact with StarClan.
The heaviness in his head had returned; it was faint, but it felt like a warning. Shadowpaw couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.
I only wish I knew what it was.
Chapter 14
Rootpaw thrust his way between the boulders and waited for Dewspring to follow as they headed out of the SkyClan camp and into the forest. The clouds had parted to let through the cold sunlight of leaf-bare, and the trees cast long blue shadows over the snow. Already the light was beginning to grow red as the sun went down.