Yeah. Uh-huh.
But what about Rafe? What she felt for him? She couldn’t deny she loved him, too.
“You love Matthias, Taz baby. Trust me, I know.”
God, that voice was annoying. Must be a guilty side effect of mentally raping Rafe. What a happy little house of horrors she built for herself.
Taz dropped change into the honor-system box and took a Norris Basin guide. She walked through the small museum breezeway, would look through the exhibits on her way back. She stopped at the Porcelain Basin overlook and then paused, checked the map, and changed her mind. She’d do the Back Basin trail first, then Porcelain. She needed time to calm down, Matthias and Rafael be damned, and she wanted to see as much as she could. Considering she’d spent most of the past week cooped up and unable to work out, a mile-and-a-half hike would go a long way toward helping her feel normal and work off some of her nervous agitation.
She still had two bottles of water in her pack, and her sunglasses and new hat helped cut the afternoon glare. She worked her way around the Back Basin trail, trying to relax. It was a comfort, in a way. That nature could be as unpredictable as humans.
Well, okay. Vampires. Sheesh.
It was as beautiful as it was harsh.
There were quite a few tourists walking in the same direction and at the same ambling pace she was, so she didn’t think anything of the two men trailing not too far behind.
“Where is she?” Robertson asked him again.
Matthias spun on his heel. “I don’t know. Don’t you think I would be with her if I knew?”
“Calm down. We’ll find her. Try reaching out to her again.”
“She’s blocking me. I don’t know where she is.”
“Calm down. Try again. Calmly.” Robertson knew Taz was upset, but he wasn’t strong enough to reach her from a distance even if she wasn’t blocking. He had to calm Matthias enough to get her to answer him. He wasn’t even sure Matthias was strong enough to reach her from a distance through her barrier.
Matthias glared at him, but took a deep breath and stepped away from them into the shade. He closed his eyes.
“Anastazia, please, you’re in danger.” He reached out to her, wishing he was stronger.
What if she dies because of me?
He tried to shut off that line of thought.
He didn’t know where she was. He had no idea. All he could feel was a hard shell, closed even to him.
Taz looked up and around, felt Matthias’ probe. He was worried.
No, damn it, he’s got to learn that just because he’s a bazillion years old he can’t boss me around. He has to treat me with respect, give me space when I need it. And not sit in my head and spy on me.
Uh, immature much?
No, wait, that wasn’t right. She was upset because of what she’d done, not because of Matthias. Even if it was his fault, he’d spied on her. Even if it was his fault he hadn’t clued her in to what she could do.
What if he didn’t know what she could do?
What if he didn’t want her to know what she could do?
She thought about letting him know where she was then reconsidered. She wasn’t even halfway around yet. He’d swoop in with the Stooges and ruin her peace and quiet. Besides, she was safe. The Others wouldn’t come out here of all places. It was nearly as safe as Old Faithful. Once she was close to the end of the trail, she’d send him a thought so he could quit worrying.
Until then, let him have a taste of his own medicine. She needed time to quiet her mind, figure out how to handle things with Rafe, and tell Matthias what happened. She needed to cool off. They were right about her feeling crazy with her powers awakening. And she didn’t trust herself to talk to anyone until she calmed down and regained some control over her temper.
Not to mention she didn’t trust herself not to hurt someone as upset as she was. She couldn’t live with herself if she did that. She already had enough amends to make as it was.
She stood and continued her walk, stopping frequently to take pictures like most of the other tourists.
One of the guards ran up to them. “Someone in the Museum thinks she headed to Norris Geyser Basin. She asked for information. It’s just a few minutes away.”
Matthias exchanged looks with Robertson, who shrugged. “She likes to hike. It’s a good place to start.”
They bolted for the Land Rover, Matthias’ heart pounding in his throat.
“Please, Taz, I couldn’t take it if I lost you.”
She tried to ignore Matthias tapping at her conscious. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. Between her guilt and his agitation, it was too much.
She closed her eyes.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” she mentally screamed at him.
“Ahhggg!” Matthias swerved, trying to maintain control of the SUV. He jammed the brakes and managed to pull onto the narrow shoulder without wrecking.
Albert reached over and shifted it into park. “What is it?”
Matthias had the heels of his palms pressed against his forehead as he writhed in pain. He couldn’t speak, just moan in agony.
Robertson got out and pulled Matthias from behind the wheel. One of the guards helped get him into the backseat. Robertson slid behind the wheel as he looked at Albert. “She’s pissed. Really pissed. Even I felt that one.”
He checked for traffic and floored it, racing toward Norris.
That was probably too much.
“Uh, yeah, baby, ya think?” She should name that new voice. It seemed bound and determined to have a life of its own. But why did it have to sound like Rafe?
On second thought, fuck Matthias. Maybe he’d learn not to piss her off. What was the use of having all these fantastic vampire powers if she couldn’t use them to at least hike by herself?
That brought a fresh wave of guilt. She didn’t want these powers if it meant hurting people who loved her, like Rafe and Matthias.
Taz walked, stewing. No more probes from Matthias. The further she walked, the worse she felt. One more thing to apologize for. She was really racking them up. Just add another one to her big list o’ guilt. Kiss the cousin? Check. Tell him you love him? Check. Practically rape him and then blast your fiancé’s brain? Check and checkeroonie.
In her mind she heard a chuckle, knew it wasn’t her. There was nothing at all funny about this mess she was in.
Add losing my mind and gaining a disembodied voice to the list. Why the hell not? Check.
She’d reached the far side of the back basin area, just past Vixen Geyser. She could backtrack and take the cut-through trail, see Steamboat, then reach out to Matthias and let him stop worrying.
Taz stopped for a break. There were less people now, except for the two men she kept noticing behind her. They didn’t look dressed for a hike. They looked like foreign tourists.
“How far?” Matthias moaned from the backseat. He was still in pain but at least coherent.
Albert checked the map. “Just ahead.”
Matthias nodded and pulled his hands from his face. His eyes looked horribly bloodshot, tears of pain streaming down his cheeks. She’d nailed him good. “Okay. When we get there, we’ve got to split up.”
“There’s the entrance.” Albert pointed, and Robertson braked hard, sliding around the corner, narrowly missing an RV in the process.