“Who’s telling you what to do?”
“I feel like I’m being pushed into this.”
He leaned back and crossed his arms. “Giving you every reason to say yes isn’t pushing you, Taz.”
She shook her head firmly. “I’m not sure I’ll say yes.”
He studied her. “What is really going on here? This is over the top, even for a control freak like you.”
What was she supposed to say? That she felt like she could drown in Hawthorne’s eyes? That watching the way his butt looked as he walked away from her stirred feelings she hadn’t felt in a while? That she was going to have to take a long, cold shower before she could get any sleep?
“I’m just not sure he’d be a good—”
lover
“—fit for me, that’s all.”
Robertson’s eyes bored into her. She felt like he was trying to decide if she’d lost her mind or if he had.
“I’m not crazy,” she said.
“No, you’re very stubborn and extremely contrary.”
“What about you? If I go to work for him, he said I’d be travelling a lot for at least the first six months. What will you do?”
“You’re seriously worried about that? You’re worried about me? I’ll be fine. Don’t you dare use me as an excuse to hold yourself back.”
Part of her wanted to call Thompson right then and tell him yes. She had a feeling he’d be awake. Part of her wanted to wait until Friday and tell him no.
She mulled it over for a few moments before shaking her head. “There’s something going on here. I don’t like how neat and tidy this is. It’s just my intuition. You know that’s never wrong.”
And I don’t want to make a decision based upon how cute the guy is.
“Sometimes life is neat and tidy, Taz.”
“When has anything in my life ever been neat and tidy?”
He ran his hand through his hair, as if trying to not pull it out by the roots over her contrariness. “Sweetheart, I’m going to bed. I hope when you wake up tomorrow you’ll see this is a fantastic opportunity and take it. Seriously.” He patted her on the hand and met her eyes. “Do it. You deserve this chance.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek before disappearing to his side of the condo.
She studied her mug. Was she being stupid? She just didn’t like feeling pushed. She also didn’t like the suspicion that there was more to this whole situation than met the eye. That there was more to Thompson and Hawthorne than met the eye. When had her intuition ever been wrong?
That would be…never.
The last thing she wanted was to get involved in a nasty personal situation. How could she possibly be expected to remain professional around Matthias Hawthorne? By the end of dinner she was ready to jump his bones. If he’d tried to kiss her, she would have tackled him and ripped his clothes off. She didn’t like feeling out of control. Hawthorne was gorgeous. Well, she thought so, and around him she felt—
Helpless. Out of control. Defenseless.
She took a deep breath. She was better than this. She’d worked with handsome, charismatic men before. Never bedded them, even the ones who’d chased her. She didn’t mix work and pleasure. It was unprofessional. Very unprofessional.
But she was always the one being chased, not the other way around. She’d never met a man like Matthias Hawthorne before, a man who made her weak in the knees.
The lack of control she felt around him frightened her.
She rinsed her mug, walked down the hall to Robertson’s room, and knocked.
“Come in.”
He stood in the middle of the room, book in hand, on his way to bed. He motioned to the overstuffed chair. “Go ahead.”
She plopped down, remembering childhood, high school, college nights spent pouring her heart out to him. With her mom in one movie after another and her dad on the race circuit, Robertson had been the only ever-present, stabilizing force in her life. And she loved him like a father.
He sat on his bed across the room from her. “Tell me.”
She did. Not the most embarrassing of it, how out of control she felt around Hawthorne, but he got the gist.
“You’re scared,” he said, and she nodded. “And that’s why you can’t bring yourself to accept the job yet.”
“Exactly. I’ve never felt like this before. I felt trapped, in a good way. And I didn’t want to get loose.”
“That’s normal. It’s called attraction. It’s sexual tension.”
“I can’t work for someone like that.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t.”
“You can.”
She shook her head, hating herself, realizing she had to say no to this job that was, admittedly, a great chance. “I can’t. The first time he tried to get me into bed, that would be it.”
“Who says he’d try? Isn’t that just assuming a little too much?”
“I—” She shut her mouth. He was right. It was.
Narcissistic much?
But they always did. Robertson knew that. No matter what, whenever she worked in close proximity with a man for any length of time, except for Robertson and, of course, her own father, it always happened. It wasn’t a problem socially, because she could choose whom to date. At work, however, she had a lot of practice maintaining a cool, aloof professionalism, discouraging any personal interactions. The Ice Queen in action. Watch my frost.
“You know what happens to me,” she said. “Guys usually hit on me after a while.”
He nodded. “I do know. Believe it or not, that’s normal. You’re an attractive woman, Taz. Just because a man finds you attractive doesn’t mean you’ll fall for him.”
“Oh, you have no idea what this guy is like.”
“He’s different?”
She nodded. “That’s what scares me. There’s something different about him. What if I can’t say no?”
“You’re a lawyer. You know how to say no. Besides, what if he’s already attached?”
“No wedding ring.”
“You know that means nothing.”
“Okay, you’ve got me there.” She chewed her lip. “I don’t like going into a situation where I don’t have the advantage.” Or the control.
“And there lies the crux of your anxiety and fear, my dear.” He walked over to her, put his hand on hers, and stared into her eyes.
Twenty minutes later, she found herself in her bedroom with no memory of how she got there.
I must have talked his ear off. She went to take a shower.
A long, cold shower.
Chapter Five
Thompson reached for the ringing phone, instinctively knowing who the caller was. “Yes?”
“It’s me,” Robertson said. “Tell Matthias to lay off. He scared her half to death.”
“I think he needs an ice bath.”
“So does she. Thank God he told her the dinner couldn’t run late. We’d have to take a fire hose to them both.”
“Match made in heaven then?”
“Not if she tells you no on Friday.”
“What?” Thompson sat up. “How could she possibly say no?”
“I’ve been telling you,” Robertson said, “she’s not to be played. She senses a trap.”
“Do we need to up the offer?”
“Absolutely not. She’ll get suspicious.”
“Well, what is it then?”
“Matthias.”
“I thought they got along rather well.”
“That’s the problem. You don’t know her. I raised her. If there’s one thing that scares her, it’s feeling out of control. I’ve spent her entire life teaching her self-control, and she has practically none around him.”