“Her face is on billboards. I passed one on my way here,” Roland said.
Patricia nodded and said to Ruth, “Sorry we’re talking about you as if you’re not here.”
“It’s okay. I understand,” said Ruth, looking amused and sheepish.
“There!” Lynn exclaimed, and handed Alan the Elle magazine opened to a page with a photograph of Ruth modeling a brown pantsuit.
Patricia leaned toward Lynn and whispered to her, “That reminds me, this morning you got rejected by the Ford Modeling Agency.”
“Oh,” said Lynn. “That reminds me, I meant to tell you, I think I’m ready for us to stop sending applications to clubs who’d never have me as a member.”
“Are you sure?” Patricia asked.
“Yes, I’d like to give normal life a try. I can always go back to madness later, if sanity doesn’t keep me stable.”
Alan scrutinized the photo a long time. He turned to his girlfriend and softly asked, “Why are you with me?”
“It’s no big deal,” she said, taking a seat. “Lots of great people are not observant.”
“That’s not what he meant,” said Roland’s Translator, who was also capable of translating other people. “What he meant was, since you’re a model, why are you with him. You could have any man, et cetera. He doesn’t find himself attractive, et cetera.”
“Thanks,” Alan muttered.
“What can I say? You do it for me,” Ruth said. “You’re to my taste. And to be honest, I have been drawn to your type in the past. My friends think I have perverse taste in men and furniture. Not that liking you or your chair are acts of perversion. Now I’m sounding insensitive.”
“I think your friends are right,” Alan said. “You are perverse. I’m lucky.”
“And you, my friend, are shallow,” Roland said to Alan. “I never realized you were so superficial, running after models.”
“But I didn’t know she was a near supermodel!” Alan exclaimed, indignantly.
“First of all, do I really believe that, and second of all, so what? It still shows that looks are the main thing you value in women.”
Ruth looked a little grim.
Victoria said, “Oh, I completely agree, and that is so wise and good of you, Alan, because until you’ve been with someone a very long time and given that person a chance to reveal her innermost self, it would be premature and unfair to judge her on anything but her looks.”
“Speaking of looks,” said Jim, pointing to the gallery window, “who are those men giving us weird looks?”
They all turned and stared at the window. Three men were indeed standing outside Lynn’s gallery, their foreheads pressed to the glass, looking in.
“Oh, they’re just some stalkers I’ve got,” said Ruth. “Alan, I hope you don’t mind that I come with a little bit of baggage. They’re creeps, but harmless.”
“Lynn used to have a stalker, too,” Patricia said.
Ruth nodded to Lynn sympathetically.
Roland said to Alan, “You should relish every minute of your relationship, buddy, because I’m sure you’re aware that your days as the boyfriend of a near supermodel are numbered.”
“What has gotten into you, Roland?” Lynn said. “Finding your soulmate has made you nastier than ever.”
Ruth was pleasantly surprised that Alan and his friends were taking her stalkers so much in stride.
Victoria said, “You misunderstand him, Lynn. What Roland says is true. Having low expectations is always best. This way, when things turn out great, Alan will be pleasantly surprised.”
“Speaking of low expectations,” Roland said, turning to Lynn’s soulmate. “Jim, haven’t you ever had any higher ambitions than being a florist?”
“Because if you haven’t,” elaborated Victoria, “it’s really impressive to be so unmaterialistic and genuine. That’s a very rare quality nowadays.”
“I’m afraid I can’t claim to be completely unmaterialistic,” Jim said. “I did get an MBA after college, and I did work in business for a couple of years, but I kept thinking I’d be happier living more simply. I love plants and nature, but I love people and the city too much to leave. I know it may not seem exciting to everyone, but I don’t need a lot of money, and I’m very happy with the choice I’ve made. Particularly because it led me to Lynn.” He squeezed her hand.
Roland lost interest and turned back to the easier target. “My poor Alan, I’m worried about you, about your expectations. Ask yourself, why would a near supermodel ever want to be with you, let alone stay with you?”
Alan looked pained. Everyone turned to Victoria, even though they didn’t have much hope she’d be able to fix this vicious comment.
After a couple of thoughtful seconds, Victoria said, “Roland is right. Asking yourself why a supermodel would want to be with you is a very therapeutic exercise. You should make a list of all the reasons you come up with — and there will be many, no doubt — such as your kindness, sense of humor, charming innocence, piercing blue eyes, feathery blond hair, and you should study that list religiously. It’ll keep your confidence up, your anxiety down, and enable you to enjoy your relationship more fully.”
Ray placed his hand on her arm. “Victoria, I like you, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. Every time you utter one of your lovely translations, I tremble for your safety. Roland has a temper. I warn you that one day he may turn around and slug you.”
Roland’s face turned red. “I don’t like what you’re insinuating!” he said, slapping the table and rising slightly out of his seat, threateningly. “Are you implying that her translations are annoying? That they’ll get on my nerves? Well you’re wrong! For the first time in my life I feel free! I don’t have to watch what I say anymore. I don’t have to walk on eggshells and be careful not to hurt people’s feelings. As long as she’s with me, I can just be myself, and she’ll fix the damage before it even has time to register!”
“You were walking on eggshells?” Lynn said.
“Yes, for your information. Spare me your amazed air,” Roland said.
Everyone was silent for a few long seconds, mulling over the concept that Roland had been walking on eggshells.
Later during that same meal, they talked of Max’s suicide. Roland was not so interested in the topic, since he had murdered Max. Plus, the subject made him uncomfortable. Had it been a suicide, though, he would of course have been very interested, as was the case a moment later, when Alan’s model girlfriend generously revealed that one of her old boyfriends who suffered from depression had committed suicide three years ago. Roland was dying to ask her how he had done it, but he restrained himself, fearing it was tactless. No one else asked either.
Alan was perturbed, because he had noticed that while they had been talking about Max’s death, Ruth had begun staring at Roland rather insistently. Alan hoped it did not mean she was attracted to him. He told himself he was just being paranoid.
The days and weeks passed, and Alan worried about the looks his soulmate and Roland kept giving each other when they all got together.
Alan thought there was something terribly wrong in his relationship. That any human being could possess such a high degree of perversity as to be a near top model and be attracted to him seemed extraordinarily shady. Who knew what else she was capable of? Infidelity, perhaps. It was all too easy for him to imagine, after having lived it with Jessica.
Nevertheless, he chose to fight his fears. He believed that if he had strong enough faith, blind faith, his love would endure, and so would his soulmate. He wanted true love to be possible, and he wanted to be one of the lucky few who had it.
Alan had no way of knowing that the actual reason Roland was staring at Alan’s girlfriend was not because of her pronounced beauty, nor because of her fame, nor because he was attracted to her (he was not especially), but because her ex-boyfriend had committed suicide and Roland wished he could think of a way to ask her how.