“Gotcha.”
Heat radiated up from the bottom of the crater. Even protected and shielded as she was by her suit’s HVAC systems, she felt the difference between front and back. It was like standing in front of a fire on a very cold night.
They had talked, or maybe negotiated was a better word for it, for a long time. Finally, Martha had said, “You savvy Morse code? You savvy orthodox spelling?”
“Whatever Burton. Understood. Is. Understood.”
“Yes or no, damnit!”
“Savvy.”
“Good. Then maybe we can make a deal.”
She stared up into the night. The orbiter was out there somewhere, and she was sorry she couldn’t talk directly to Hols, say good-bye and thanks for everything. But Io had said no. What she planned would raise volcanoes and level mountains. The devastation would dwarf that of the earthquake caused by the bridge across Lake Styx.
It couldn’t guarantee two separate communications.
The ion flux tube arched from somewhere over the horizon in a great looping jump to the north pole of Jupiter. Augmented by her visor it was as bright as the sword of God.
As she watched, it began to sputter and jump, millions of watts of power dancing staccato in a message they’d be picking up on the surface of Earth. It would swamp every radio and drown out every broadcast in the Solar System.
THIS IS MARTHA KIVELSEN, SPEAKING FROM THE SURFACE OF IO ON BEHALF OF MYSELF, JULIET BURTON, DECEASED, AND JACOB HOLS, OF THE FIRST GALILEAN SATELLITES EXPLORATORY MISSION. WE HAVE MADE AN IMPORTANT DISCOVERY.
Every electrical device in the System would dance to its song.
Burton went first. Martha gave the sledge a shove and out it flew, into empty space. It dwindled, hit, kicked up a bit of a splash. Then, with a disappointing lack of pyrotechnics, the corpse slowly sank into the black glop.
It didn’t look very encouraging at all.
Still…
“Okay,” she said. “A deal’s a deal.” She dug in her toes and spread her arms. Took a deep breath. Maybe I am going to survive after all, she thought. It could be Burton was already halfway-merged into the oceanic mind of Io, and awaiting her to join in an alchemical marriage of personalities. Maybe I’m going to live forever. Who knows? Anything is possible.
Maybe.
There was a second and more likely possibility. All this could well be nothing more than a hallucination. Nothing but the sound of her brain short-circuiting and squirting bad chemicals in all directions. Madness. One last grandiose dream before dying. Martha had no way of judging.
Whatever the truth might be, though, there were no alternatives, and only one way to find out.
She jumped.
Briefly, she flew.
NIGHT OF THE MINI-DEAD
Tim Miller and Jeff Fowler
Note: Everything is seen through a tilt-shift effect, as if a higher being was looking down through a telescope on various Human shenanigans. Everything is shot in the ‘real world’, but the effect makes things appear miniature and cute, almost toy-like. It also affects time — everything elapses at a slightly faster-than-normal speed.
A dilapidated 19th century church sits in the middle of an old cemetery. The scene is bathed in blue moonlight. It’s completely still except for a small breeze that rustles the grass around the tombstones and trees nearby. We linger here a bit to appreciate the solemn serenity of the slightly spooky scene.
Muffled sounds of a dubstep banger (but sped up, miniature) begin to grow louder and louder. A pair of headlights illuminate the road leading to the church. A flashy looking red import drunkenly swerves into the scene. It awkwardly pulls onto the church property. Its obnoxiously bright headlights pour into the sanctity of the graveyard illuminating the area.
We hear the dubstep boom louder and clearer as the car doors fling open. The engine cuts off, the music stops, and out stumbles a young couple (AUTUMN & STEVE) — STEVE, a guy in his mid-20s, leather racing jacket over a deep V-neck, gold chain, skinny fitted joggers, gaudy sneakers we can’t afford. AUTUMN, a girl in her mid-20s short under-boob crop top, ripped skinny jeans, cheap dye job. They look like rejected YouTube stars, and… they… seem… pretty HAMMERED.
They speak in sped up mini voices. We can’t quite make out the words but we get the tone of their chatter:
AUTUMN
(Excited mini gibberish)
STEVE
Totally.
The couple drunkenly stumbles into the cemetery. Titillated by the naughtiness of their trespassing, Steve takes a swig from a bottle, and gives Autumn the last sip. He chucks the bottle, it shatters against a nearby tombstone.
After a few flirtatious exchanges the couple starts making out… like heavy. Steve lifts Autumn onto another nearby tombstone — it sinks a bit then collapses under their weight. They giggle and keep going.
They spin around laughing and make their way to a large ANGEL STATUE in front of the church. They sit at its base and continue to make out, but slower this time. It feels as though the disrespectful nature of the situation has subsided. Maybe it’s the fact that Steve’s great-great aunt is buried here, maybe it’s the disapproving gaze of the angel statue above them… They take a breath, and look into each other’s eyes…
JUMP CUT to Autumn bent over a tombstone getting fucked doggy style by Steve. The two are butt-ass naked, clothes strewn about the graves. The sex is sloppy and awkward… but has passion. It’s the world’s tiniest hardcore sex scene.
JUMP CUT to another patch of the cemetery. She’s on top, arched back and riding him — looks painful…
JUMP CUT, he has her up against the base of the angel statue, pounding like there’s no tomorrow.
JUMP CUT, in a moment of bro’vado Steve has climbed to the top of the ANGEL STATUE and positioned himself to… fuck it right in its disapproving face. He turns back to Autumn who is giggling and filming with her phone.
STEVE
(In a sped up mini voice that mostly
sounds like gibberish)
Hehe… check it out babe… uh… uh… uh… uh…
Steve proceeds to thrust awkwardly into the angel’s face with the same drunken rhythm he gave to Autumn. The entire statue shifts slightly with each thrust. Autumn continues to film and cheers him on — this video will get so many likes.
Steve’s thrusting gets harder and faster… he might be enjoying this. The statue continues to rock back and forth until it SNAPS off of its base. It falls hard against the church with a loud crash and PINS Steve against the entrance.
LIGHTNING flashes. Music intensifies.
Autumn is in shock. Steve is dazed and maimed, his arm pinned between the statue and the church. There’s blood everywhere but he looks alive.
AUTUMN
BABE!!!!!!!
Suddenly the structure of the church begins to shift and crack from the damage at its base. The church steeple sags and tilts forward. The steeple’s CROSS dislodges and plummets off of the church. Like a sacrilegious lawn dart, it sticks UPSIDE DOWN into the pedestal where the statue used to sit. An intensely bright bolt of lightning hits the upside down cross and IGNITES it with an other-worldly GREEN FLAME, that now lights the scene. The music takes a turn.
AUTUMN
Oh my god!!!
We see the old dirt around the graves churn up into fresh mounds, and up from the ground emerges the LIVING DEAD. Decomposed, skeletal, and with purpose.