I asked Julia Robbins to go shopping for a dress with me today. Since she is a new bride, and did this recently I thought she would steer me in the right direction.
“You are going to love this shop. They have got all of the latest designs in wedding couture. It’s where I found my dress, so of course I’m partial. I took the liberty of making you an appointment with my salesgirl at 11:00,” Julia says as we walk down Bond Street, making our way to Just Say I Do.
“Perfect, thanks so much for coming with me today,” I reply.
We walk by the gorgeous storefront window, which displays mannequins wearing the most amazing wedding dresses. Once we walk in, we are greeted by a classy older woman, who says to feel free to browse while she let’s our salesperson know we have arrived.
“What do you have in mind?” Julia asks, as we roam the displays of dresses.
I know in my mind I have to get something totally different then what I picked out for my wedding to John. God, as I look through the dresses, it feels strange. I feel a strong sense of guilt, remorse and sadness when I think about John. How I practically left him at the altar.
“What’s wrong Sophie?” I hear Julia saying to me while I was lost in my own guilt-ridden world.
“Oh nothing,” I reply, shaking my head slightly, as if trying to shake my memories and guilt out of my mind.
“Hello ladies.” A pleasant looking woman in her forties greets us.
“Louisa,” Julia squeals, and gives Louisa a hug. She then introduces us.
“So Sophie, what kind of dress did you have in mind?”
“You both pick out what you think would look good on me and I will just try them on,” I reply. Louisa hesitates, and looks at Julia.
“Alright,” Louisa says to me as she steps back and seem to appraise my stature and figure. “I have a few styles I think you would look fabulous in.”
I like hearing this, I just can’t think straight right now.
“Come on, Louisa is the best,” Julia says.
We follow Louisa around the boutique as she plucks 3 or 4 dresses off the racks before leading us into the dressing room.
The first one I try on is a very sexy, almost corset style dress. When I walk out of the dressing room, Julia let’s out a whistle.
“Too sexy siren?”
“You rock that dress! Once Marcus see’s you in that dress, all he will want to do is get you out of it,”
I twirl in front of the mirror. “No, it’s too much, to vixen.”
I come out in dress number two.
“That dress is more sophisticated, you will make a striking bride, Sophie,” Julia exclaims.
“This is more the look I was going for,” I say, admiring myself in the mirror.
“Let me get a veil that will go perfectly with this dress,” Louisa says, disappearing into the back of the boutique.
As I gaze at myself in the mirror, I try and imagine Marcus at the end of the aisle waiting for me. I start to freak out a little. I try and take a deep calming breath.
“What is it, Sophie? You have the strangest look on your face,” Julia asks.
I don’t have to answer her as Louisa has returned and is adjusting a beautiful veil on my head. She drapes it across my face. I actually start to tremble and almost hyperventilate. I was trying on dresses less than a year ago to marry John. What the hell am I doing? Maybe my mother is right.
“What do you think?” I finally hear Louisa ask for the second time.
“Looks lovely,” I say softly, and then turn to go back into the dressing room. I can’t do this right now. Plan another wedding. I put back on my clothes in a flash, I need to get out of here and get some air.
“Thank you for your help today. I’m going to think about the second dress,” I say to Louisa.
“Yes, of course,” Louisa says, giving me a puzzled look at my abruptness.
Julia and I walk out of the store and decide to have lunch at a bistro nearby.
“Sophie, what happened in there?” Julia asks once we are seated in the restaurant.
I stare out the window and breath out a heavy sigh.
“I don’t know, I started freaking out I guess.”
“Why, you mean you were getting cold feet?”
“I guess you could call it that. You know I was engaged to marry someone else less than a year ago? I went through a lot of the wedding planning. Bought a dress and everything. Trying on dresses again just brought up these feelings of guilt and remorse. I love Marcus, I do. But marriage to someone like him scares me.”
“What about it scares you?”
“He was such a player before, enjoyed variety. How can he really commit a lifetime to me?”
“Marriage is a gamble. I had some of those same feelings with Richie. Wondered if I would be enough for him. It’s hard marrying a man who has girls throwing themselves at him. It’s hard marrying a hunky man,” Julia says with a wink.
I let out a small laugh. “I’ve actually met two of Marcus’s ex’s and he tells me they meant nothing to him. Maybe that’s what he will be saying about me five years from now.”
“No Sophie, I see the way he looks at you. With the look of eternal love.”
I give her a coy smile as I fiddle with my water glass. “He does seem pretty devoted to me.”
“I think what you’re going through is normal. Just remember, follow your heart.”
“I know, you’re right.”
“Now, back to that amazing dress. Is it the one?”
“Yes, I did love it on.”
“Then let’s go buy it after lunch and you can check that off your wedding to do list.”
“Sounds good. Thanks for going with me today. I would have loved to have my mom with me, but I will be lucky to get her to fly all this way for the wedding.”
“Really? Why do you say that?”
“She adored John, my ex. She thinks I’m making a mistake marrying Marcus. She doesn’t think he is a long haul kind of guy.”
“That’s too bad. I wasn’t sure my parents were going to like my tatted up rocker man, but once they spent time with him, they saw how sweet he is and he won them over. Has your mom spent anytime getting to know Marcus?”
“No, not really.”
“Then she doesn’t really know him does she?”
“True.”
Chapter 13
Marcus
“Hi, any luck finding a dress today?” I say, walking into the kitchen. Sophie is pulling something out of the oven and I give her a peck on the lips.
“Not yet,” is all she replies. She’s a little sedate tonight and seems preoccupied.
“Did you make an appointment with the Savoy?”
“Not yet.”
“Sophie, I want to set a date. We need to book the reception venue soon.”
“I know.”
“What’s wrong, do you want it somewhere else?”
“No, the Savoy is fine.”
“Just fine, Sophie, it’s one of the poshest places in London to have a wedding. Can you show a little more enthusiasm?” Damn, my feelings are hurt. It’s as if she doesn’t want to get married or something.
We eat in silence for a while before she speaks again.
“I’m sorry, it’s been a long, overwhelming day.”
“I thought girls love wedding dress shopping and all that girly stuff.”
“I just missed having my mom there with me.”
“Oh, I see,” I reply. I know all too well how Mrs. Shawn feels about me. She doesn’t think I am right for her precious daughter. I’m going to give her the world on a silver platter, but that’s still not good enough for Mrs. Shawn.