The next couple of weeks, I barely saw Luke at all. He was at the bar from morning until night. If I wanted to see him, I would have to go to the bar. When he’d come home, he would quietly slip into bed and wrap his arms around me. We’d have dinner together at the bar every night, and he still tried to convince me to work there. He even went as far as to ask me if I would play the guitar and sing a few nights a week. I didn’t have to say a word; he could tell my thoughts on that just by the look on my face. I had Giselle and Gretchen over for dinner like we planned, and I told them everything about Mary. Charley cried almost every day at school because I was no longer her teacher. It had been a clusterfuck of a week, and certain emotions from my past were being stirred up. As I was sitting on the couch, feeling sorry for myself, a text message from Luke came through.
“Hey, babe. Why aren’t you here yet?”
I quickly responded. “I’m not coming to the bar tonight.”
“Why not? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Luke. I just want to stay home.”
“But I miss you, Lily.”
“Yeah, I miss you too, but you don’t seem to care about that.”
As I sat there and stared at my message to him, I couldn’t believe I had just said that. I didn’t know what was going on with me, and I just wanted to be left alone. When he didn’t respond, I threw my phone across the table. About twenty minutes later, the door opened. I turned around as Luke walked in, threw his keys on the counter, and stood in front of me.
“What the hell was that last text supposed to mean?”
I suppose I was looking for a fight, because I jumped up without hesitation and got in his face.
“It means exactly what I said.”
“What’s the matter with you?” he asked as he softly grabbed my arm when I started to walk away. “Don’t you dare walk away from me!”
I jerked my arm out of his grip. “Don’t you dare tell me what to do!”
“Babe, please tell me what’s going on with you, because right now, you’re not acting like yourself.”
“You want to know what’s wrong? Fine, I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I never see much of you anymore, and when I do, it’s always at the bar with everyone else. We barely eat together anymore, and we don’t go out. You spend every damn, fucking minute at that bar.”
“Watch your mouth, Lily.”
“Oh, and that’s another thing; you don’t get to tell me to watch my mouth, because I can talk anyway I want. I’m an adult, and if I want to scream FUCK to the world, then I fucking will!”
“We talked about this before I bought the bar; that’s why I discussed it with you first, and now you’re behaving like this. Why, Lily? Are you trying to hurt me? You knew the first few months were going to be difficult.”
“Yeah, but then the first few months turn into another few months, and then they turn into years. It’s your passion, and that’s all you’ll ever do, and that’s all you’ll ever think about, Johnny!” I screamed.
The expression on his face nearly killed me; it was filled with pain, disgust, and anguish. As he walked to the door, and put his hand on the knob, he turned around and looked at me.
“I’m not your father, Lily.”
He slammed the door behind him, and I stood there with my hand over my mouth as I dropped to my knees. I couldn’t believe I called him “Johnny.” As I closed my eyes, the memories of my mother and father fighting became more vivid. Brynn and I would sit on the stairs and listen to them scream back and forth at each other. I remembered my mother yelling at him about never being around and how he promised things would be better. I began to sob as I buried my face in my hands. I felt two arms wrap themselves around me, and I heard Sam’s voice telling me that it was going to be ok. He helped me up from the floor, and he led me to the couch.
“Lily, please calm down.”
“Sam, I said horrible things to him. I called him ‘Johnny.’ I’m more fucked up than I thought I was.”
35
Luke
As I hopped on my bike and sped out of the parking lot, I couldn’t stop thinking about Lily’s behavior and her attitude towards me. She was being irrational, and I was disturbed by the fact that she called me her father. We’d had a long discussion about how many hours I’d be working at the bar the first few months, and she told me that she understood and that she’d be with me and support me through it all. As I pulled into the parking lot at the bar, I parked my bike on the side of the building and walked through the doors. I sighed as I stepped behind the bar and poured myself a cold beer.
“Where’d you run off to?” Maddie asked as she was making drinks.
“Lily’s apartment.”
“You didn’t bring her back with you?”
“No, we got into a fight.”
Maddie stopped what she was doing and looked at me. “About what?”
“The bar, and how she’s sick of not seeing me, and spending time with her,” I said as I slammed the glass down on the counter and looked at her. “See, this is what I don’t get: we spend time together, and we see each other every day. She comes here, and when I leave, I go home to her place, and I spend every night with her.”
“You have to realize that things for Lily have significantly changed over the past couple of weeks. She lost her teaching job, and her boyfriend, who spent every waking minute with her, became the owner of a bar, so she barely sees him anymore. That’s a lot to take in at the same time.”
“She called me ‘Johnny,’” I said.
“What? Why did she do that?” Maddie asked in confusion.
“I don’t know. All she said was that this will consume me because it’s my passion and dream.”
As I looked down, Maddie walked closer to me and put her hand on mine. “It sounds like she’s having flashbacks of her father and how he was never around. Didn’t she say that her ex-fiancé was never around either and started spending less time with her?”
I nodded my head and clenched my jaw. “You’re right. Now things are starting to make sense.”
“You need to talk to her, Luke. I love you both, and I don’t want to see your relationship go in the toilet because of a misunderstanding. “
“I’m going to talk to her, don’t worry. I’ll be leaving after I finish the budget. I want to give her time to cool down.”
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I swiped the screen and saw that I had a text message Sam.
“I just left Lily’s, and she’s a mess, man. I know it’s none of my business, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a girl like that. She’s pretty messed up, and if you love her, you’ll get your ass back there.”
“Thanks for being there for her. I’m heading over there now.”
I looked at my watch and walked to my office. I shut down the computer and stacked the paperwork into a neat pile for tomorrow. I walked over to Maddie before leaving the bar.
“Starting tomorrow, I want you out of here by 5:00 p.m. You’ve been here late, and I appreciate it, but it’s not fair to Charley. I know it’s only temporary, but things are going back to normal. We need to sit down tomorrow and have a meeting, so head here right after dropping Charley off at school tomorrow,” I said as I kissed her on the cheek.
When I opened the door to Lily’s apartment and stepped inside, I didn’t see her. I walked down the hall, stopped in the doorway of her bedroom, and stared at her lying on the bed all curled up. My heart broke seeing her like that. She must have heard me, because she rolled over and tried to open her swollen eyes. As I walked over to her and sat on the edge of the bed, I pushed her hair behind her ear and leaned over, kissing her teary eye and moist cheek. She raised her arm up and looped it around my neck, bringing me closer as I buried my face deep into her.