I stare up at the ladder, the height that has haunted me for the last week. It seems to represent everything I’ve been through, every time I’ve given up or failed. My hand shakes as I reach out and take hold of the first rung. The small voice inside of me is telling me to give up now, before I take that first step, before I find out just how much of a coward I really am.
I ignore the voice. I climb.
I don’t look down as I climb up the shaky rope ladder. It sways slightly as my weight shifts, and a knot of vertigo lodges in my throat. But I don’t stop, not even when I reach the point where I gave up last time. I don’t look down or let that voice take hold until I reach the very top, where one of the coaches waits with a hand outstretched. When I’m on the tiny wooden platform that feels like it’s a hundred feet above the ground, I look out to the tent and the crowd below me.
What a rush! Everything is spread out and tiny. I see my mom and dad down there, waving at me. Riley and Sandy, both of them jumping up and down with excitement. Tyler and Kevin, hand in hand, cheering. Leena’s there beside them, calling out that I can do it. And I even see Branden, standing a little ways apart, looking up at me with an expression I can’t quite see.
The coach snaps the safety lines to my belt and pulls the trapeze back for me.
“Just hold on and try to beat your body when she tells you to,” he says. “And when she says let go, just let go. Keep your arms flat at your sides—don’t try to land on hands and knees. Got it?”
I nod. I can’t stop looking at the view. It’s gorgeous up here. Even the air seems cleaner, clearer. Suddenly I can’t understand why I was so scared before. Everything from up here seems so perfect.
“Okay,” I say. I reach out and take the trapeze in both hands. The taped metal is cool. The coach holds on to the back of my belt as I lean out, staring across the rig and down at the ground that seems so far away. My heart hammers. My palms go cold. But I’m here. I’m here. And I’m not backing down now.
“Ready?” he asks.
I nod.
“On three. One. Two. Three!”
I leap out. The world soars.
An excited yell leaves my lips as I sway over the net, wind whipping in my face and the sun shining bright. I feel like a bird, like a superhero. I arc out and swing back, nearly reaching the platform I was just on. I can barely hear the coach calling out for me to beat over my laughter. When the swing finally slows to a near halt and she tells me to release, I’m giddy with adrenaline. I let go. The ground plummets toward me, the net catches me and bounces me up a few feet like a trampoline. For a few seconds I just lie there, bouncing up and down. Then I grab the edge of the net and roll down, my eyes squeezed shut. Someone helps me down. I expect it to be the coach.
It’s Branden.
“You were . . . you were amazing.” His words are breathy, filled with excitement. The coach comes over and helps me out of my safety belt, but I barely notice it. Branden doesn’t move away, doesn’t stop looking at me. I see Riley from the corner of my eye, but she gives me space. She also keeps my parents back.
“Jenn, I’m sorry,” Branden continues. “About the dance, about everything. I never wanted to go with Megan, but she said you weren’t interested in me and like Luke instead. She pretty much forced me to ask her.”
My jaw drops.
“She told me you weren’t interested in me,” I say. “And her sister said you guys made out the night of the talent show.”
He shakes his head. “I’d never do that. That was a lie. She and I were never a thing—I’ve been trying to convince her of that since camp two years ago. I like you, Jenn. I really, really like you. I’ve wanted it to be you all along.”
My heart flutters with his words, but they’re tinged with sadness.
“I wasted all camp trying to work up the nerve to ask you out,” he continues. “I thought I was going to lose you when Luke asked you to the dance. Then I heard what he and Megan did. . . . I can’t believe it, Jenn. I’d never hurt you like that. Ever. And then, today, seeing you face your fears, and watching you defend your friends last night, well, you inspired me. I need to face my own fears.”
He looks me deep in the eyes then. It feels like he’s actually seeing me for who I am, and not just the girl I try to be.
“I know camp is over,” he whispers, “but I’d really like a chance at this. We live pretty close to each other. I think it could work. Would you . . . would you like to try? Going out with me, I mean?”
I gasp.
I don’t even think about my answer.
“Yes,” I say. “Yes, I will.”
He smiles, the warm sunlight playing off his lips. His arms wrap around my waist, pull me tight.
And when he leans in to kiss me, it feels like flying all over again.
TURN THE PAGE FOR MORE FLIRTY FUN.
My entire body ached as I stretched each limb and popped my back, trying to shake off the effects of the long, long trip. Cleveland to New York to London to here—I still couldn’t believe we’d left home yesterday afternoon and had just arrived in Edinburgh’s airport a couple of hours ago.
But as I stared out our hotel window overlooking Princes Street, with Scotland’s rolling greens and ancient buildings staring back at me, the stiffness in my body faded away. I was really here. And it was breathtaking so far. I couldn’t wait to see what other sights Scotland held.
There was a lovely park area in front of our hotel with rich green grasses and trees, and beyond the park there were rows of ancient-looking buildings lined along the street, pressed side by side with pubs, shops, and churches. This whole city was steeped in history. I was crazy excited to explore.
My mom stepped behind me and gave a soft sigh. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”
I nodded my agreement. “Well worth being cramped in an airplane for this.” I’d spent hours last week scouring online to find pictures, videos, anything to help get me ready for our two-week vacation to Scotland. But nothing could have prepared me for the image before me.
Downtown Edinburgh bustled with people below, and music and noise filtered up to us from the packed streets. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched. Excitement swelled, and I was suddenly itching to get out there and walk. I wanted to touch the warm bricks with my fingers, smell the pub food and flowers, and hear the noises up close and personal.
“Ava,” my dad said from behind me, “I printed you a copy of our itinerary. There’s also a backup on your bedside table.”
Mom chuckled, and we turned and faced my dad. He didn’t show any signs of fatigue, since he’d slept like a log on our flight from New York to London last night. I, on the other hand, had gotten intermittent sleep, due to the snoring man on my right who apparently couldn’t snooze unless his head was tilted my way.
Mom and I sat down on my bed, and we dutifully took our copies of the papers while Dad recited an overall rundown of how the trip would go. First we would spend a few days in Edinburgh and the surrounding cities, and Dad would spend some of that time doing research on our family heritage. Then we were taking a weeklong bus trip through Oban, Inverness, and St. Andrews so we could explore the Scottish Highlands.
The more he talked, the more excited he got, his eyes flashing bright.
“And if we stick to this schedule, we’ll have plenty of time to fit in almost everything the experts agree we need to see,” he concluded with a flourish. “We’ll experience a good portion of what Scotland has to offer.”