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“Eddie?” Big Lou’s voice was strained.

334 An Unexpected Development

Eddie looked at Lard, who nodded his head in the direction of Lou.

“Don’t keep us waiting,” muttered Lard. “You know fine what to say.”

“I’ve come to pay you back, Lou,” said Eddie. “I can’t manage the full thirty-four grand, but here’s twenty-five. That’s all I’ve got left.” He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and took out a folded cheque, which he pushed over the counter towards Lou.

“And?” said Lard, glowering at Eddie. “You have another statement to make, don’t you?”

Eddie looked down at the floor. Witnessing his humiliation, Matthew felt almost sorry for him, but then he remembered.

Eddie did not deserve his sympathy. “That thing about the coffee bar,” he said. “That piece of paper you signed. I’ve decided to give my share back to you.” He paused, and looked over his shoulder, as if looking for an escape route.

“And?” said Lard menacingly.

“So here it is,” said Eddie. “I’ve put it in writing.”

“Always get things in writing,” said Lard, turning to address Matthew. “Every time. Never rely on gentlemen’s agreements.

Some people just aren’t gentlemen, know what I mean?”

Matthew nodded. “You’re right there, Lard,” he said.

Big Lou reached out and took the document which Eddie had passed over the counter. She looked at it, nodded, and then slipped it into the pocket of her apron. “Thanks, Eddie,” she said.

There was a silence. Matthew looked at Eddie, knowing that he was staring at a broken man. Angus felt that too, and looked away in embarrassment. Pat busied herself with her empty coffee cup. She had never liked Eddie either, but the sight of him being obliged to behave like an errant schoolboy was not a comfortable one.

“One last thing,” said Lard. “Then you can go.”

Eddie fixed his gaze on the floor. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Sorry, Lou.”

“Right,” said Lard to Eddie. “You can go now.”

Wur Planets are oot o’ alignment 335

Eddie tried to straighten himself up. It was as if he was attempting to salvage at least some shred of dignity, but he could not. He slumped back into his dejected position. For a moment he hesitated, then he turned round and walked out of the café.

“Well, that’s that all sorted,” said Lard cheerfully. “Now, how about youse fixing me up with a cup of coffee or something?”

Big Lou turned back to her espresso machine and soon had a large, scalding cup of coffee ready for Lard. Heaping several spoons of sugar into the cup, Lard quickly drained it and suggested another one.

“You single-handed here, hen?” he asked Lou.

Big Lou smiled at him. She had no idea who Lard O’Connor was, and why he had intervened on her part, but she felt profound gratitude to him. “Aye, I run the place myself,” she said. “But I’m not very busy most of the time.”

Lard looked around the café. “You could put in some music,”

he said. “And maybe one of they fruit-machines. Cheer things up a bit.”

Hearing these remarks, Angus shot a glance at Matthew.

“Let’s hope she doesn’t give this chap half the business,” he whispered.

Lard did not hear him. He was leaning across the bar, smiling at Big Lou, who was preparing a second cup of coffee for him.

“I don’t believe it,” said Matthew sotto voce. “I just don’t believe it.”

Lard and Big Lou were now deep in conversation and Lard, reaching out over the bar, had taken Big Lou’s hand in his.

“Oh no,” said Angus. “Worst fears realised. Close all ports.

Prepare to abandon ship.”

107. Wur Planets are oot o’ alignment Big Lou looked down at Lard O’Connor’s hand, resting on hers.

Then, very politely, she lifted it with her free hand and placed it back on the counter. Lard O’Connor continued to smile.

336 Wur Planets are oot o’ alignment

“Thank you for what you’ve done,” she said. “But we hardly . . .”

“Aloysius O’Connor,” said Lard.

“Thank you, Mr O’Connor. I have no idea how you persuaded Eddie . . .” Lou’s voice tailed off. It was hard to utter the name.

She had loved him, and in a way she still did. Why had he treated her as he had? She had imagined that she might change him, that he would not need to see those girls, but it had been hopeless. Everybody says that about these things, she told herself. They are just too deeply embedded. And he hadn’t cared about her feelings, not in the slightest.

Lard looked grave. “It’s amazing what direct talking will achieve,” he said. “The trouble with this side of the country is there’s not enough direct speaking. All that blethering. No direct speaking.”

“Well, you’ve been very helpful to me, Mr O’Connor.”

“Please . . . Aloysius.”

“Aloysius.”

“That’s better.”

Big Lou took a step backward. “Well, I have to get on with my work,” she said. “Maybe some day we’ll . . .”

“Aye,” said Lard. “Mebbe.”

From their table, Angus, Matthew and Pat watched as Lard left the coffee bar. He nodded curtly to Matthew as he made for the door, and shot a glance at Angus, who quickly looked away.

Lard was almost at the door when he hesitated and looked back towards Matthew. Then slowly he walked over to the table and leant down to whisper to him.

“Tell Stewie everything’s tickety-boo,” he said. “But wur still a wee bit skew-wiff on this deal, pal. No quite eexy-peexy. Wur planets are oot o’ alignment like. So I’ll be on your case for a wee bit of reciprocation. Understaund?”

Matthew sat quite still. He looked up at Lard and blinked.

He was silent. Lard then winked at him and made for the door.

“That was a most interesting face,” said Angus. “I wonder if he might sit for a portrait one of these days. What a mug! Did you see it, Pat? Ever seen anything like it?”

Wur Planets are oot o’ alignment 337

“What did he mean by reciprocation?” asked Pat. “Do you think that . . . ?”

Matthew waved her question aside. Reciprocation could mean only one thing: he would be expected to participate in something illegal – launder money, perhaps, or hide a weapon. He thought for a moment. Could he pay Lard off instead? Could he offer him ten thousand pounds instead of a favour, or would that just whet his appetite for more? And what if Lard got wind of the fact that he had four million pounds in the bank? It hardly bore thinking about.

He looked at his watch. “It’s time to get back to the gallery,”

he announced. “Let’s go, Pat.”

They crossed the road, Matthew still deep in thought.

“You’re worried, aren’t you?” said Pat.

Matthew nodded. “It’s occurred to me that I’ve already broken the law,” he said miserably. “I incited this awful man to beat Eddie up. If Eddie goes to the police, then I’m implicated.”

“Eddie won’t go to the police,” said Pat. “They would want to know why Lard beat him up. He would have to tell them that he took Big Lou’s money.”

“But she gave it to him,” said Matthew. “Eddie’s done nothing illegal.”

“He won’t go,” said Pat. “Eddie probably has other things to hide from the police. There’s that club of his. And the girls and the rest. He won’t go.”

They opened the gallery in silence. Pat was aware of Matthew’s anxiety and was worried about what she had to do next, which was to tell him that she was moving out of the flat in India Street. There was a good reason for this, of course, and she could not put off telling him any longer. That afternoon, a friend was coming to help her move her things back to her parents’ house in the Grange, and she would have to let Matthew know about this before she made the move.