He nods, reaching his fingers up toward my cheek before quickly pulling them back away. And just as quickly as he came back into my life, he’s gone.
It’s really over.
If any part of him wanted me, he would have fought for me.
“There you are,” Pierce says, wrapping his strong hands around my shoulders. Through the corner of my eye, I see Blake standing in the doorway. He nods then disappears. He left for me this time instead of just leaving me, but there was so much I wanted to say.
I take a deep breath and pull myself together before Pierce has a chance to see my face. He’ll know I’m not okay. “Actually,” I groan, rubbing my fingertips against my temples, “can we head back to the hotel? I’m not feeling well all of a sudden.”
His warm hands run down my bare arms then slowly slide up again. “Let’s get you something to eat.”
“No,” I snap, shrugging his hands away. “I need to go back to the hotel. Now, please.”
He comes around to look at me, holding my face in his hands. I want him to hold on to me but for all the wrong reasons. I’m tired of falling for the wrong guy. I’m tired of being alone. Fifteen minutes ago, he was my guy.
He made me smile when I thought my face was paralyzed.
He brought in sun when all I saw was clouds.
Now, I just feel unsteady.
He leans in, his forehead resting against mine. Closing my eyes, I try to forget everything else. I try to pretend that everything is okay, but I’ve never been good at pretending. “What’s the matter, Lila?” he whispers, gently brushing his lips against mine while his hands circle my hips.
“I saw him.”
“Who?” he asks quietly, forehead still pressed to mine.
My heart stops, just for a second. I’m going to say his name, and it will be real. And Pierce will know it’s real. “Blake.”
His body stiffens. His fingers dig into my skin. “Where?”
“He was here, but I think he left. I only talked to him for a minute.”
His hands slide up to my stomach, holding me tighter. “What did he say?”
Those damn tears are threatening. “He asked me if I’m happy. That was it … he just wanted to know if I was happy.”
He inhales.
My heart aches no matter how much I tell myself everything is okay—that nothing has changed. It’s taken me so long to get to where I am, and now, I’m lost again. Torn between two worlds … new and old, perfect and damaged. That line between right and wrong faded a few minutes ago. I thought I knew what I wanted; confusion is a nagging little bitch.
“What did you tell him?” he finally asks, drawing me away from the internal battle that’s raging. I just want it to go away.
“You know you make me happy,” I whisper, thinking of last night … the last few days. For at least a few seconds, the thought of him on me—inside of me—erases everything else.
It’s just temporary then the fleeting, contradictory feelings return, dragging my heart to my knees.
“Let’s get out of here,” he says, cradling my elbow to pull me through the crowd. My eyes are locked on the fancy travertine floors. I don’t want to see or hear anything; I just want out.
Before long, I’m tucked into the backseat of a waiting car. Pierce’s strong arms wrap around me, pulling my head to his chest. Gripping the lapels of his jacket, I hold him as close as I can, breathing in the subtle cologne he wears. He reminds me of the warm fleece blanket I carried around as a kid; it fixed everything.
“I knew he was going to be there tonight,” I finally acknowledge. My voice is purposefully quiet.
His fingertips that had been tracing small circles on my back still. “What did you just say?”
“Mallory warned me before we left the hotel. He’s working on the project, Pierce. Wade hired him on to complete the artwork.”
Silence follows. Too much silence.
“I should have told you,” I add. “I just didn’t want to believe it … I didn’t believe it.”
“I’m going to kill that asshole. It’s not a coincidence that he ended up on this project.” His hands leave me, and without looking, I know he’s combing his fingers through his hair. It’s what he does when he’s thinking. “We can leave in the morning if you’d like. I’ll tell Wade he needs to find someone else to design the project. That’ll through a fucking curveball at his timeline.”
I shoot up, looking at Pierce’s angry expression under the faint glow of the streetlights. “No,” I answer, shaking my head.
He holds my cheeks in his hands. “I would never ask you to do this … to work with him after what he did to you.” He pauses, brushing his thumbs along my cheekbones. “You just found your way back, and I’m not going to lose you again. I won’t let him—”
“Pierce,” I interrupt. “I’ve worked so hard on this. For months, it was my everything, and I’m not going to let Wade or Blake take it away from me.”
“Then I’ll ask Wade to pull him from the project.”
“No.”
Taken aback, he loosens his grip on me. “I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t want him looking at you, talking to you … you’re mine now. I don’t share. After last night, there’s no way I’m ever going to let you go.”
“Nothing’s going to happen. We just need to be professional about this.”
“It’s not us I’m worried about,” he snaps. “Can you tell me something?”
I stare at him. I’ll tell Pierce anything he asks, and he knows it.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Lila?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t go. Your business means—”
“Cut the bullshit. Why didn’t you tell me?”
My heart skips. Like a ton of bricks, it just hits me … the real reason I wanted to go tonight even though I knew Blake would be there. “I needed to see him. Partly, because I wanted to make sure he’s all right, and partly because I needed to know how I’d react. Closure I guess.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What did you feel? When you saw him … what did you feel?”
I cross my arms over my chest, forming an even stronger barrier. My heart pounds. My hands tingle. “Do you really want to hear this?”
“Yes.”
“A little bit of everything: shock, confusion, anger.”
“And?”
“Some of what I didn’t want to feel is still there. After everything he did, I can’t hate him.” My stomach churns, and suddenly, it feels too warm in here. Not enough space … not enough air. “In fact, I felt something for him that was the opposite of hate. A few months and a broken heart didn’t change that.”
His gaze bounces from me to the window then back to me. He drags his hands through his hair. If looks could scream, I’d be deafened by his alone. “What are you saying?”
I shrug. “I guess I’m saying my wounds aren’t as healed as I’d thought. They may never heal.”
He reaches toward me, brushing his thumb against my cheek. “Wounds that deep always leave scars.”
I nod, knowing that a part of me will always be with Blake, just as a small part of me stayed with Derek. Life is a journey for which we leave little pieces of ourselves behind. We write words in every chapter then leave them to continue to the next. It’s our legacy, and if we’re lucky enough, we’ll meet someone special to take the ride with.
Before I can respond, the car comes to a complete stop, and the driver opens the door giving us a straight shot to our hotel.
“Is there anything else I can do for you this evening, Mr. Stanley?” he asks as Pierce climbs out.
He holds his hand out to me. “No, but be back at eight tomorrow morning. I have a meeting, and then I think Ms. Fields and I may be heading out of town a little early.”
“We have the collaboration meeting tomorrow afternoon,” I blurt as I stand next to Pierce on the sidewalk.
His arm wraps around my waist, pulling me close to his body. “We’ll talk about this later.”
Seconds after, he’s pulling me through the hotel using his grip on my hand. The elevator door opens before either of us has a chance to push the button. A couple steps out. We step in.