Confidence was built by his words, his actions. He drove all the way from Chicago to tell me he’s sorry … to tell me he loves me. For once, he ran to me when I needed him the most.
I roll out of bed to use the bathroom but end up bent over the toilet dry heaving instead.
“Lila.” I hear Blake’s voice behind me. He pulls my hair back away from my face, gently running his fingers along my spine. “I’m here, baby.”
When my stomach finally settles, I’m drenched in sweat, and my head aches. Blake sits behind me, wrapping his legs and arms around me to support my weight. I don’t know what I would do without him. “Do you think you’d feel better if I ran you a bath? You’re covered in sweat.”
“Yes, just not too hot. My body feels like it just came out of the oven.”
As I attempt to stand, he helps by carefully hugging me from behind to pull me up. “I’m going to go downstairs and grab some crackers and water. Maybe that will settle my stomach.”
He puts the toilet seat down then practically sits me on it. “Don’t even think about moving.” He starts the tub, holding his hand under the water until it’s the right temp. It’s kind of cute how he keeps looking over to make sure I’m following his orders. I can’t disobey those sapphire blues. “I’ll go talk to your mom about getting you some crackers. Your water should be ready in a few minutes.”
My fingers touch my temples, tracing perfect little circles. All of the sudden, I feel dizzy again. “Where were you this morning when I woke up?” I ask, trying not to sound as panicked as I feel.
He smiles sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I went downstairs to get a drink and ran into your mom. It was a little rough at first, but I ended up making us breakfast.”
“You made my mom breakfast?”
“Yes. I mean, she didn’t ask me to, but you know how I am with my eggs. They’re my coffee, babe.”
My fingers move faster, ignoring how adorable he sounds. “What did you talk about?”
The water turns off then he’s kneeling in front of me. “Let’s get you in the tub. I’ll get you something to soothe your stomach, and then we’ll talk.”
I nod, starting to feel even worse for the wear. He helps me pull my T-shirt over my head then watches like a hawk as I sink into the tub.
“I’ll be right back,” he says when I’m all the way in.
The water instantly relaxes me. It takes the weight off my body, releasing tension in places I didn’t know existed, my mind the only exception. Blake said a lot of things last night, and I believe every single word of it.
But then my mind shifts to what my mom must have been thinking this morning when she saw him, especially after the talk we had last night. What did he tell her? What did she say to him?
The door creaks, and Blake walks in carrying a small plate of saltines and a cup. He sets them on the edge of the tub. “Your mom said to try ginger ale, so I got that instead of water.”
“I can safely say this is the first time I’ve eaten crackers while taking a bath.”
He sits beside the tub, resting his arm over the top to use as a pillow. “I wish I could make it better since I’m half the reason you’re in this position.”
“I should have been more careful. This wasn’t planned … I don’t want you to think I was trying to trap you,” I acknowledge, nibbling on a cracker.
“Lemon Drop, no one has caught me in their trap yet. I’m with you because I want to be. The news just caught me off guard. That’s all.”
“What did my mom say to you?” I ask, my patience wearing thin.
“Before or after she threatened me with a steak knife?”
I cover my eyes, thinking of the one time I actually saw my mom do that. My boyfriend at the time had snuck in, not realizing she was such an early riser. “What did you do?”
“I told her I was your baby’s daddy.”
“Oh my God. Are you serious, Blake?”
He laughs. “It didn’t come out quite like that, but it was enough to get her to drop the knife.”
“Then what?”
“She sat me down and lectured me for about twenty minutes. I’m not going to lie, she kind of scares me, and that’s not an easy thing to do.” He hands me the ginger ale, waiting for me to take a sip. “She made you an appointment for 1:15 with Dr. Phelps.”
“What time is it now?”
“A little after 11:00.”
We sit quietly for a few minutes. I successfully eat eight saltines and drink half the glass of ginger ale before the water starts to turn cold. “I should get out before I shrivel up.”
He stands, grabbing a towel from the hook. “Here. Do you want me to grab you some clothes?”
I wince, remembering the things I left behind when I moved to Chicago. “Look in the drawers. I should have a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.”
He wraps the towel tightly around me then pulls me into his arms, kissing the tip of my nose. “When I said I loved you last night, I meant it. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I press my lips to his cheek before he has a chance to get away.
While he’s getting my clothes, I apply some lotion and brush my teeth twice. Crackers and ginger ale may work wonders for my stomach, but they didn’t leave the best taste in my mouth.
“Will these work?” Blake asks, holding up an old pair of jean cutoffs and an off-the-shoulder white T-shirt.
I wrinkle my nose at him. “Weren’t there any athletic shorts in there? I know I used to have some.”
He grins walking toward me. In one quick motion, he undoes the towel leaving me naked in front of the mirror. “Have you looked at yourself lately?” He brushes my hair over my shoulder, kissing the back of my neck. “You’ve always been beautiful, but there’s something even more beautiful about you now that you’re carrying my baby. You’re glowing.”
His hands settle on my hips, sliding up my sides then under my breasts. They’re sore, but he’s careful with his touches.
“Look at yourself,” he whispers against my neck. It’s something I’ve never done when I’m aroused, and I’m definitely there. I blame that on my hormones, too. He can flip me on like a switch.
I lift my lids, adjusting to the light. Blake is right; my stomach is still toned, but my breasts have filled out giving my body more shape. My skin glows. My lips are parted. My eyes glossed over.
“Blake,” I moan, wrapping my arm around the back of his neck while his lips caress my shoulders.
“Tell me what you want.”
“You. I just want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
He pulls my arm from his neck and spins me around in his arms. Tears fill my eyes as I look into his. “You have me … all of me. Even when I’m not with you, I’m with you.”
He uses his strength to set me on the counter. I stare in his eyes, believing every single word he says. For months, I believed what he said because I wanted to. Now, every word sinks into my heart, my mind, my soul because he’s proven there’s reason to believe. Nothing seems forced anymore.
Freeing himself from his jeans, he easily enters me. I’ve been ready for him since the second he made me look at myself in the mirror.
I dig my fingers in his back as he kisses me deeply, burying himself deep inside me over and over.
“Blake,” I breathe, wrapping my legs around his waist. My body shakes as the tension builds.
“Do you know when I knew I loved you?” he asks, touching his forehead to mine.
I bite down on my lower lip, so close to orgasm I almost can’t take it anymore.
“The night I took you to the studio … that was the only way I knew to show you without saying it.”
He thrusts a few more times, and I’m a goner, pulsing around him repeatedly. He follows, burying his face in my neck to muffle his screams.
I hold him close while we both climb down from the high. Sex has become a truth serum.
“When I walked away from you on Christmas, it just about killed me.”
Holding his face in my hands, I say, “But it made us stronger. We’ve lived through the worst, and neither one of us wants to go back to that.”