“Lila can hold her liquor far better than Ms. Fields ever could.” I pause, watching his smile widen. “Now, can I have another glass, please?”
His hand slips from my arm. He pulls the champagne from the bucket, refilling my glass. “Must I ask about your recent improvement in liquor retention?”
“I’d blame Reece and Dana, but I think we both know the real answer to that. You’re a smart guy.”
The amused look he had seconds ago falls away. That happens a lot more than I’d like it to around me.
“This is the point where I’m supposed to change the subject.”
I nod, sipping more champagne.
“What do you want to do while we’re in New York? Believe it or not, I don’t have anything planned outside of our commitments to Wade.”
I shrug. “You don’t have to entertain me, Pierce. A soft bed and a movie sound like heaven tonight.”
When he doesn’t respond, I look up to see his eyes glued to me. I’ve seen them like this before—in the moments before he kissed me in New York and when he showed up at my apartment on Christmas Eve.
They’re begging.
I want to cave.
I want to love and be loved.
You know when you look in someone’s eyes and all you see is truth. They stare right at you—right through you. He does that to me, and he may not realize it yet, but I do the same to him. I’ve never been more honest with anyone than I’ve been with Pierce. Honesty is easy when someone has seen the worst of you, and yet, they still stick by you. I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone, but it’s hard to be loved by one man when your heart is with another.
If only the heart wanted what it should.
His voice cuts through the silence. “There’s this one place outside the park that I like to visit when the weather is nice. Will you come with me for lunch before we step foot into hell?”
I bite my lip, rolling it back and forth between my teeth. Pierce is like a wrapped piece of chocolate being set in front of me: once unwrapped, there’s no way I’m going to be able to resist.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
He tilts his head, peering over at me. “How’s it any different than the lunch we had the other day?”
Because New York is our place, I think to myself. “Pierce—”
His index finger touches his lips, halting my words. “You think too much.”
“You don’t think enough.”
He laughs—deep and throaty. “Lila, if you had a thirty-second view into this head of mine, you’d get dizzy.” He pauses, his eyes dancing between mine. “Especially now.”
“This is exactly what I was talking about. We’ve teetered on this line before, and I can’t take another chance like that. Not now.”
“It’s just two people enjoying a meal together.”
“It was the same the last time we were in New York.”
He shakes his head. “You have an answer for everything, don’t you?”
“Almost everything,” I quietly answer.
I don’t have an answer for Blake.
The plane lands smoothly, pulling up to a waiting black town car. If I do this ten or twenty more times, I might not require champagne to make it through. The driver pulls our luggage from the plane as Pierce and I make our way down the stairs and slide into the back seat of the car.
I fixate on the cityscape while Pierce rattles off an address. Memories of the last time we were in New York creep up to the forefront of my mind … and everything that happened in the weeks that followed. I wish it would all just go away.
“Have you ever been to Madison Square Park?” Pierce asks after a few minutes of silence.
“I’ve only been in New York with you so if we didn’t go, I haven’t been there.” The answer comes out sharper than I intended it to but yet I don’t apologize.
“I guess it’s going to be your first time then,” he says as the car pulls in front of a lush green lawn guarded by a wrought iron fence and mature trees. It looks foreign in the city.
“What are we doing here?” I ask, looking over at him.
“Having lunch.” He opens his door and steps out without looking back.
I follow behind, walking as quickly as I can in my heels to catch him. “If I’m not mistaken, I declined your invitation.”
He laughs, turning back to look at the street. “Looks like our car already left. Do you want to sit on the bench over there and wait two hours for it to come back, or would you like to have lunch with me?”
“This isn’t fair.”
He shrugs. “Life rarely is.”
Without another word, he starts walking down the paved path again. I stand with my hands clenched, debating my next move. I hate giving in, but I’m also not keen on being left alone in New York.
“I’m not very happy with you,” I say as soon as I catch up.
“I don’t think you have been for months. Why would that change now?”
He’s right. What happened on Christmas Day put a fence up between us.
“Where are we eating?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Shake Shack.” He sounds like a little kid who has just been promised ice cream with sprinkles.
“And it’s in this park?”
“Yep”
I stay close behind him taking in the colorful flowers and smiling children that we pass by. Before long, we reach what I can only describe as a fancy concession stand. It’s a nicely appointed metal building surrounded by a crowd of suits and families alike.
“This is where you wanted to have lunch?” I ask, breaking the silence.
He lifts a brow, lips curling. Why is he so hard to stay mad at? “This place has the best burgers and fries in the country. Just wait.”
“What do you suggest?” I ask, staring up at the menu board.
He points to an empty table. “Grab us a seat, and I’ll order. If you don’t like it, I’ll let you run the show for the rest of the trip.”
Now, it’s my turn to lift my eyebrow. “You’d give me all the control?”
“No, that’s just how confident I am that you’re going to love it.”
“We’ll see,” I taunt as I watch him walk away.
The wait seems like forever, and I have to admit all the food that passes smells amazing.
“Is this seat taken?”
I look up to see Pierce smiling down at me. “It depends. What’s in it for me?”
“My company and this,” he answers, setting a basket of the most delicious smelling food in front of me.
“Consider the seat yours.” I pick up a piping hot fry and pop it in my mouth. It burns the roof of my mouth, and as I struggle to cool it off, Pierce slides a cup in front of me. I sip it, tasting chocolate ice cream; it’s a perfect compliment to the salty fry.
“Better?” he asks.
“Much.”
For the next few minutes, we eat in silence. The burger is cooked to perfection, the juice soaking through the bun. It’s messy but worth it.
I catch him watching me every now and then but divert my attention to the people that walk by.
“Why don’t you just yell at me and get it over with?” His words are so out of the blue I practically choke on my food.
“I’m not mad anymore if it makes you feel better,” I reply, going back to people watching.
“I’m not talking about this.”
Now he has my attention. “What are you talking about then?”
“You blame me,” he says, pushing his food away.
I open my mouth to ask what he’s referring to, but I already know. And he’s right … if he hadn’t said some of the things he did about Blake, I would have approached things differently that day. He can’t take it back nor can I.
“You have to know, Lila … you have to know it wouldn’t have worked out whether I told you or not.” He stops, playing with the corners of his napkin. “I wish I could go back. I wish I would have chosen my words better, but it’s done. I’m sorry.”
Tears pool in my eyes, not because I’m thinking about Blake but because Pierce just proved himself to be a better man than I already knew he was. I built a short wall between us because I did blame him for some of what happened with Blake, but at the end of the day, it was all me. I didn’t trust Blake enough to not draw the wrong conclusions.